shiftedblue Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I've been seeing this guy for about a month and a half, physically and seemingly emotionally moving fast. I've slept over a bunch of times, always because he asked me to. He even acts mopey when I can't stay over when he wants me to.. so then I brought up whether or not we were "boyfriend and girlfriend" or "in a relationship" whatever last night and he basically flat out refuses to say yes or no. I know he isn't seeing anyone else. Well I'm pretty sure at least because he works full time and sees me almost every free night he has. He can't keep his hands off me, cuddles me, asks me to stay, whines when I leave. But he won't define it. What the hell is going on? I got kind of annoyed last night and told him we needed to slow the heck down if he wasn't comfortable being a couple...he doesn't want to but again, won't budge. Is this a control thing?
Kamille Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Did you ask him why he was so hesitant to answer yes or no? Could it just be that he hadn't thought about it and needs more time? Just because you're ready to call him your bf doesn't mean he's moving at the same pace.
depplover_1980 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Lay off him or you will push him away. Also it wouldn't do you any harm to perhaps slow down slightly and see each other a bit less so early on? Men can be very dubious with the c word and personally I think 3 months is a reasonable timescale before properly confronting them to make it official.
Eeyore79 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 This is exactly why I don't have sex until bf/gf status has been decided. I find that if I have sex I get too emotionally invested, and I cling on for too long when the guy clearly doesn't want a relationship. Just because he wants you to come over for sex and gets mopey if you don't, that doesn't mean he wants to be your bf. Just because he isn't currently seeing anyone else, that doesn't mean he wants to be your bf either. The only thing that means he wants to be your bf, is if he says he wants to be your bf, and he isn't saying that. I think you should probably pull back from this relationship unless he wants to be your boyfriend, because you're obviously becoming increasingly invested and he isn't matching your interest level.
zengirl Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 This is exactly why I don't have sex until bf/gf status has been decided. I find that if I have sex I get too emotionally invested, and I cling on for too long when the guy clearly doesn't want a relationship. Just because he wants you to come over for sex and gets mopey if you don't, that doesn't mean he wants to be your bf. Just because he isn't currently seeing anyone else, that doesn't mean he wants to be your bf either. The only thing that means he wants to be your bf, is if he says he wants to be your bf, and he isn't saying that. I think you should probably pull back from this relationship unless he wants to be your boyfriend, because you're obviously becoming increasingly invested and he isn't matching your interest level. I pretty much agree wholeheartedly with this. I also DO think it could be a control thing, as sometimes these labels things are, and I think that's very lame if it is.
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