kalena9488 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I'm struggling! Me and my bf were together for 2 years. During that two years he lied about using pot (over and over again), I knew he had three kids under 18 and they didn't live with him and I had no problem with them coming to visit etc...but as it turned out when they came I ended up paying for everything. I was told he had a good job when we started living together and that he would split the cost of the house and utilities with me but over the two years that didn't happen. I'm pretty sure he gave me what he brought home but it wasn't much. I stated to get resentful because of the amount of money it was taking from me. I have worked very hard for all that I have. It appears as though over his life he's been content just making ends meet and letting women pretty much support him. And he's been married four times. When we met he said he was getting a divorce well two years later and he's still married. I finally asked him to leave in December and he's been gone since then. But he wants us to get back together. The thing is I am still attracted to him. I can't say I'm in love with him anymore though. I don't ever want him to live with me again because I know I'll get stuck paying for everything again and if I'm going to be in that sort of a relationship I want someone who will share all things with me and not take advantage of me. I don't have any problem with his kids and I like his kids but I guess because of the fact that I had to pay for everything I've decided that even if for some reason we were living together I would never want his kids to come live with us. But honestly I don't want to ever live with him nor do I want to ever marry him. I do want a relationship that lasts forever whether I ever marry again or not I don't care but I want someone to share my life with. I don't know what to do. I tell him all of this and he says he's okay with it he just wants to be in my life. I think it's a control issue and he just doesn't want to see me happy with anyone else. He keeps telling me he's the only one who has ever loved me this much and no one will ever love me like he does again. But, I'm a great catch and not to bad looking either so I'm pretty sure if I gave it a shot I would find someone who is drug free, and can support themselves.
0hpenelope Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 But, I'm a great catch and not to bad looking either so I'm pretty sure if I gave it a shot I would find someone who is drug free, and can support themselves. I love this! Yes, you are a great catch! This grown man (man-child?) hasn't figured himself out yet? He's content in doing that? I.. I've no idea what to say. If I had a friend like you, I know I'd tell her "You're settling. You can find someone else so much better."
Rudeman27 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Kalena, your story and mine have a lot in common. Although I was the man. Here is what is similar. She had a great job, I worked but never made enough. We were together for 1.5 years, she called it off for financial reasons and I became needy. Here are the differences I am younger 30 she is your age and has 4 kids. When we first met my plans were to move to a new city and start working for myself. But then we fell in love and she was very happy that I changed my plans for her. I reluctantly gave up my place to move in with her after she asked me a few times. We were very happy, she loved me completely and I felt the same way. Then I got the itch to get back in real estate and take my chances with the economy. I got a job at night bartending, so I wasn't home as much but I still gave her what I could for rent. We talked about my decision and she was behind it. But I knew it was wearing on her and us. I tried to make it better and kept letting her know I'm trying and I love her. At the same time she got very sick and I was their for her through that, but me trying to be there for her came off as being needy and smothering her. She broke up with me around the same time you dumped your boyfriend. We were supposed to be friends and once I made some changes in my life we were supposed to give it another try. She later told me she doesn't want that anymore. Anyway, I joined LS to talk to you. I think we can help see our exes side in this. BTW- I think that your Ex telling you that you will never be loved as much as he loves you-sounds a bit selfish. Just my take, is there anyway to message on here?
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