NICKST3R Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry I tried to keep it short, but there are just too many details I cant leave out.. Me and this girl were "together" for about 4 months our senior year of HS. She was afraid of a committed relationship, but I wanted one too badly. I think I got a little too clingy/needy and she said she "wasn't feeling it anymore" and broke it off over text msg. I was devastated and did all of the things I shouldn't have. I begged for her to try and work things out but she just wasnt interested in me anymore. I never got any closer. That summer she was with this other guy that went to my HS. After college started they tried the long distance thing I guess for a couple months and he apparently broke it off with her. Like a couple weeks later she starts talking to me more often. She tends to go on these spurts where she wants to talk to me a lot all of a sudden. Our convos were mostly just friendly, but she would definitely flirt w/me over facebook too. This girl has never said that she loved me before, and said she did when I turned 19 last week. Now, idk if she meant it as a friend or what, but me being drunk texted back "Seriously ur the sweetest person ever. I love u too." She texted back and was apparently really happy to hear that, but I never got the chance to tell her that I have NEVER EVER told anyone, not even my family, that I loved them. I know for a fact now that I'm in love w/this girl b/c its been about 9months since our "breakup" and I havent even seen her once, but I never lost my feelings for her. We both go to school in the same state, but its still a 2.5hr drive away. She said she wants to see me over spring break, but she said that about winter break too and she never followed up on it. So my question is, can I get her back? And is being friends with her going to help? She said she wanted to stay good friends after she broke it off with me, but idk if thats the best way for me to get her back. WE were never really good friends before we got together, we always knew eachother but never really hung out before. We kinda just jumped into things. We have kept in touch since our breakup, I have too strong of feelings for her to just be friends w/her. What if she ends up dating another guy? She told me a couple days ago that she doesn't want to be with a guy until she is "out of her 20s" she might have meant "in her 20s" but idk. I asked her why and she said it just never works out well. Apparently she took the breakup pretty hard when the last guy she was with, left her for another girl at his school. What do I do? I haven't heard from her in a couple days, but she was telling me earlier that her friend at school wanted to meet me over skype. idk why she'd wanna meet me unless this girl has been talking about me to her friends? idk anymore. I need some serious guidance.
smudge21 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Tough one this. You really do have strong feelings for her, and she more than likely knows this, but there is a good chance her feelings may not be as strong as yours, so be prepared for the obvious. I know how you feel with this, having such strong feelings for someone after so long. It's like you believe there's something still there and you refuse to give up. I'd go with the flow so to speak. You know this girl and clearly you are both attracted to each other, and she does want to see you, so just see how it goes. One benefit of getting back with someone is you can go in with your eyes open and be prepared for anything. Try not to hope for anything though, just try to take everything as it comes. You know what you want from her, but you don't know what she really wants from you. Too keen, and you may scare her off, not keen enough, and she may think you've lost interest. It's never easy. Try not to stress it if you don't hear from her for some time. Sounds like she has a lot going on, but at least you know she clearly still thinks about you a lot. I hope it works out for you.
gator12 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 What smudge said. Take things slow. Keep on talking to her, eventually you are going to have to tell her how you feel. She may or may not share your feelings so be prepared for it. All you can do right now is go with the flow. -Good luck, Gator
Author NICKST3R Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 Yea I think that might be the best idea. Since she ended things the first time because things were going too quickly? I guess it would be wiser to not make the same mistake again and take things slower. My life motto has always been "Go with the flow" but its funny b/c in this situation I want to rush again. She actually skyped me today so she obviously doesnt want me out of her life, but its hard to read whether or not she's getting those feelings back again. I'll see if she actually follows through this time with meeting up and go from there. Still confused but such is life I guess.
smudge21 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 We all want to speed things up when in a situation like this. I think everyone does it too, male or female, it doesn't matter. When we have feelings for someone, whatever the situation, we charge in and often make mistakes. Appearing too eager and keen is the most obvious. I look back at my current situation and could easily list the amount of times I must've come across as a total loser, just chasing and chasing, answering every phone call, replying to every text. The trouble is it's hard to stay cool and back off, take things slowly when you feel so attracted to someone, but it's something you have to do. Something we should all do. I always remember an old joke: two bulls on a hill overlooking a field of cows. The young bull says "hey, see those cows. Lets charge down there and do one of them.". The older bull replies "no, lets walk down and do them all.".
gator12 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Taking it slow and objectively is the only way any second chances will work. Rushing into them is of course what we all want, but sometimes we have to realize what we need.
Author NICKST3R Posted February 18, 2011 Author Posted February 18, 2011 alright so after about a week of NC she randomly messaged me on facebook "i miss you. that is all". we talked a little after that but she has thing with constantly telling me she "doesnt like boys anymore" or is done with relationships for a while. what does this mean exactly? why does she keep telling me this? i read on some other site that if your ex is always telling you that she doesnt want to date other guys, she is secretly hinting that she wants u to know that she isnt seeing anyone else. i dont get it...
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