Post break up - tried to meet a girl last night and got rejected hard! ! lol

[health]

I put the lol now, but believe me it was hell last night.

 

What do you think -

 

I saw the perfect girl on the bus! So I thought I can't let this go. We got off - I asked her for the time, then about music, then gave her a CD because my friends band there's this character on the cover that looked exactly like her!

 

SO I then asked would you like to go for coffee sometime and she said "I can't, my boyfriend would kill me." I said that's cool and left it at that.

 

Then started beating myself up so much - like why couldn't my ex have said something like that to the guy picking her up who she ultimately checked out for?

 

I have never cheated - and my councilor told me really it's all in the head whats bad and good and that 70% of all people cheat. I am so discouraged in this - all my life I tried to live by principles but I see people act selfish and get their needs met and I see good people suffering all the time.

 

I just don't get it any more. I can't take this rejection - shy, getting the courage up - opening myself up and then being shut down.

 

I'm disappointed in relationships - I thought I had it figured it out having a passionette one for over 5 years. I used to be the example people looked to, now I can't name a person who has a healthy relationship.

 

I have faith that one day I will find a good and loyal girl - call me crazy, maybee I am - having these expectations in this world is what's heartbreaking.

[0hpenelope]

I put the lol now, but believe me it was hell last night.

 

What do you think -

 

I saw the perfect girl on the bus! So I thought I can't let this go. We got off - I asked her for the time, then about music, then gave her a CD because my friends band there's this character on the cover that looked exactly like her!

 

SO I then asked would you like to go for coffee sometime and she said "I can't, my boyfriend would kill me." I said that's cool and left it at that.

 

Then started beating myself up so much - like why couldn't my ex have said something like that to the guy picking her up who she ultimately checked out for?

 

I have never cheated - and my councilor told me really it's all in the head whats bad and good and that 70% of all people cheat. I am so discouraged in this - all my life I tried to live by principles but I see people act selfish and get their needs met and I see good people suffering all the time.

 

I just don't get it any more. I can't take this rejection - shy, getting the courage up - opening myself up and then being shut down.

 

I'm disappointed in relationships - I thought I had it figured it out having a passionette one for over 5 years. I used to be the example people looked to, now I can't name a person who has a healthy relationship.

 

I have faith that one day I will find a good and loyal girl - call me crazy, maybee I am - having these expectations in this world is what's heartbreaking.

You know what? At least you tried.

[D78]

...SO I then asked would you like to go for coffee sometime and she said "I can't, my boyfriend would kill me." I said that's cool and left it at that... Then started beating myself up so much - like why couldn't my ex have said something like that to the guy picking her up who she ultimately checked out for?...

 

So many guys wish they had the nerve to do what you did. You're beating yourself up because the girl was not single - but this is a choice she made before she met you, which you can't do anything about. You're beating yourself up because your ex did not react the same way as the girl - also something that had nothing to do with you.

 

It's going to sound cheesy to you right now, but I think you should consider this a success. The next time you see the perfect girl on the bus, it will be easier to approach her, right? You put yourself out there, and you were brave. Congratulate yourself.

 

 

...I have never cheated - and my councilor told me really it's all in the head whats bad and good and that 70% of all people cheat. I am so discouraged in this - all my life I tried to live by principles but I see people act selfish and get their needs met and I see good people suffering all the time...

 

So your counselor told you that cheating is neither good nor bad, it just depends on how you define it, and that the majority of people cheat. This is another perspective (from Forbes magazine online sorry I can't post a link but you will find it if you google 'how many spouses cheat'):

 

"In a 2006 paper Smith reported: "The best estimates are that about 3% to 4% of currently married people have a sexual partner besides their spouse in a given year and about 15% to 18% of ever-married people have had a sexual partner other than their spouse while married.

"This is a far cry from the claims of some sex researchers like Sherry Hite, who has posited that 70% of women who have been married for five years or more are having affairs.

"According to Smith, the proportion of Americans who have ever had an affair rises from 13% among 18- to 29-year-olds to 20% among those in the mid-life-crisis years, from ages 40 to 49. Then the level drops off."

 

I have no idea which one is right. But, the fact is, unless you're going to go do the statistical research to determine the more valid claim, you can pick whichever stat you want. You may as well pick the 20% stat.

 

Some people can live with themselves being cheaters, and some can't. You're probably one of those who can't, and I think your chances of finding a like-minded girl are great.

 

Keep your head up and good luck.

[health]

You know what? At least you tried.

 

Thank you. That's what I kept telling myself. I hope girls understand that when a guy approaches them it's the most nerve racking thing ever.

 

This girl was sweet - after she said she couldn't she said do you want the CD back? I was like no no not at all it's yours! Also when she said she had a boyfriend I totally respected that and kept it moving.

 

I have faith one day I will find someone good.

[health]

So many guys wish they had the nerve to do what you did. You're beating yourself up because the girl was not single - but this is a choice she made before she met you, which you can't do anything about. You're beating yourself up because your ex did not react the same way as the girl - also something that had nothing to do with you.

 

It's going to sound cheesy to you right now, but I think you should consider this a success. The next time you see the perfect girl on the bus, it will be easier to approach her, right? You put yourself out there, and you were brave. Congratulate yourself.

 

 

 

 

So your counselor told you that cheating is neither good nor bad, it just depends on how you define it, and that the majority of people cheat. This is another perspective (from Forbes magazine online sorry I can't post a link but you will find it if you google 'how many spouses cheat'):

 

"In a 2006 paper Smith reported: "The best estimates are that about 3% to 4% of currently married people have a sexual partner besides their spouse in a given year and about 15% to 18% of ever-married people have had a sexual partner other than their spouse while married.

"This is a far cry from the claims of some sex researchers like Sherry Hite, who has posited that 70% of women who have been married for five years or more are having affairs.

"According to Smith, the proportion of Americans who have ever had an affair rises from 13% among 18- to 29-year-olds to 20% among those in the mid-life-crisis years, from ages 40 to 49. Then the level drops off."

 

I have no idea which one is right. But, the fact is, unless you're going to go do the statistical research to determine the more valid claim, you can pick whichever stat you want. You may as well pick the 20% stat.

 

Some people can live with themselves being cheaters, and some can't. You're probably one of those who can't, and I think your chances of finding a like-minded girl are great.

 

Keep your head up and good luck.

 

Thank you D78. I will congratulate myself, under all the pain I did feel some success, mostly when I cooled down. I know - it's important to give ourselves rewards to the things we have control over - that's my problem - I get frustrated over things which are out of my control - I will stop doing this.

 

Thanks again. I don't know what to do next. Part of me wants to just stop for a while - even online I send messages and they don't reply. I am an attractive guy as well. I think I can be overbearing and a little too much. I don't know. I will try again but not so hard.

[smudge21]

Your title says "rejected hard" but all I see is a guy who had the grapes to go up to a very cute stranger and start a conversation on a bus, and not only that, but got on with her. Fair enough it didn't work out as you may have liked, but it's clear you can do what is needed to find that right girl. They are out there, just keep being yourself and you'll be fine.

[health]

Your title says "rejected hard" but all I see is a guy who had the grapes to go up to a very cute stranger and start a conversation on a bus, and not only that, but got on with her. Fair enough it didn't work out as you may have liked, but it's clear you can do what is needed to find that right girl. They are out there, just keep being yourself and you'll be fine.

 

Thank you Smudge, I appreciate it! Man was she nice she was cute, wore a grey coat, petite and had a blue and purple winter hat and pig tails - that's my type to a T! lol Thank you, I appreciate it. I will try again when the opportunity arises.

[Woggle]

It least shows that some women won't cheat. Think of it that way.

[Lemontang]

I'd change the title to "Dude with big balls, has a crack, falls off, get's on the horse again, and as a result gets bigger balls."

 

I'm giving you a virtual high 5. You not only took a risk at having a go, but you respected the rejection. I mean if she reciprocated and took you up on the offer and you found out she had a boyfriend would you still respect her? I know I wouldn't.

[smudge21]

I think you should be telling us what lines you used...