xpaperxcutx Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Please read this. http://www.evilwoobie.com/2010/12/10/the-fade-out-easiest-way-to-let-go-of-an-almost-relationship/
Ay Diesel T Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Okay I have a question. I linked up with this lovely woman, we exchanged numbers. I told her maybe I could take her out for Coffee or Sushi and get to know her more. She agreed enthusiastically. Yesterday we were texting, and around 2 pm she told me she had to run as she was going to her next class, and she would text me later. Cool. She never did. Now my question is this, should I initiate contact again? Or hold her to her word?
SmileFace Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 "The worst thing about a fade out is… A rejection, especially one that is not explained in any way?" This so true. Anyway thanks for the link it was a good read.
red shoes Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 This article is good. The next time someone does that to me, I shall remind myself of the benefits. And when I use it, I shall tell myself how good it is for the other person.
mo mo Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 This article is good. The next time someone does that to me, I shall remind myself of the benefits. And when I use it, I shall tell myself how good it is for the other person. Ha.. I sense sarcasm That article doesn't do anything to cheer anyone up. Still though, people who use that tactic (and there are plenty) aren't really worth pursuing anyway
OceanGirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 This is my worst nightmare. Everything is going well and suddenly guy just drops off face of the earth. You wonder for a week if he is genuinely busy while feeling tortured every day. I would seriously prefer "I never won't to see you again, you fat, ugly bi$tch"
utterer of lies Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 This is my worst nightmare. Everything is going well and suddenly guy just drops off face of the earth. You wonder for a week if he is genuinely busy while feeling tortured every day. I would seriously prefer "I never won't to see you again, you fat, ugly bi$tch" Well you're a special case because you are overly clingy and insecure and have a need for constant confirmation of his affection. Which is the opposite of fading out...
zengirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Ah, the fade. I think it's fine before the 3rd date, honestly, unless you've agreed to plans or said you'd call (lies still suck). But after a bad first date, there's really no need for contact again. Ditto after the 2nd. If you've gone on more than 3 dates, I say it's nice to send at least a text/email/something if the other person still seems interested. If it's a relationship (exclusive in any way), I'd give someone a real conversation/break-up. Only fair. That's what the agreement to enter into a relationship provides for.
somedude81 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 The fadeout sucks and is a very rude thing to do. Even after just the first date, if the person still seems interested; be a grown up and tell them, that it's not going to work. Unless you like feeling guilty while the other person keeps trying to contacting you. Then go ahead and ignore them.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Well you're a special case because you are overly clingy and insecure and have a need for constant confirmation of his affection. Which is the opposite of fading out... Haha thats true, OceanGirl is the reason the fadeout was invented. Ay Diesel, the reason she hasnt contacted you is because she isnt interested....or has a bf, or is working on a guy she thinks is hotter than you. You can contact her, but contact her expecting no response and that she has moved on. if she was really interested, she would contact you immediately.
mo mo Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Haha thats true, OceanGirl is the reason the fadeout was invented. Ay Diesel, the reason she hasnt contacted you is because she isnt interested....or has a bf, or is working on a guy she thinks is hotter than you. You can contact her, but contact her expecting no response and that she has moved on. if she was really interested, she would contact you immediately. OR she doesn't think very highly of herself and doesn't want to get emotionally involved because she thinks he will eventually find someone better than her.
zengirl Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 The fadeout sucks and is a very rude thing to do. Even after just the first date, if the person still seems interested; be a grown up and tell them, that it's not going to work. Unless you like feeling guilty while the other person keeps trying to contacting you. Then go ahead and ignore them. When I said it'd be okay after a first date, I meant you shouldn't need to contact the person especially to tell them, "I don't want to see you again." Not the same as not returning calls/texts. That's just rudeness. I'd always respond to those and let the person know, but I'm not going to go out of my way to call a guy who I went out with once or twice to tell him, "Btw, just calling to say you're not my cuppa" -- that seems rude, too.
somedude81 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 When I said it'd be okay after a first date, I meant you shouldn't need to contact the person especially to tell them, "I don't want to see you again." Not the same as not returning calls/texts. That's just rudeness. I'd always respond to those and let the person know, but I'm not going to go out of my way to call a guy who I went out with once or twice to tell him, "Btw, just calling to say you're not my cuppa" -- that seems rude, too. My mistake for misunderstanding. The last girl who I had a few dates with, used a fadeout on me. After a date she simply stopped responding to any forms of communication. I gave her the benefit of a doubt at first, but then I realized what she was doing. I do agree with you that there really isn't any need to randomly contact somebody and reject them.
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