U1987 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 So I just went out with a girl I met last week in one of my classes. It turned out really well. We went out to three places, and ended up making out in my car. She's really beautiful, and we made a second date to get lunch after class tomorrow, but to be honest, I'm really nervous and kinda freaking out on the inside. It's been a while since I've been on a date with a girl this pretty before, so I was really nervous. I tried to stop the jitters by plowing down a vodka before I met her. I wasn't drunk or anything, it's just that for the whole date, I was so stunned and fixated on her beauty that to be honest, most of the stuff she talked about went in one ear and out the other. I honestly cannot remember half of the stuff she said because I was checking her out constantly. I'm so afraid of saying something dumb or forgetting something important she mentioned. I already had one pretty bad brain-fart tonight; she had told me a few days ago she had just celebrated her birthday, but tonight I asked when her b-day was again, which was a little embarrassing. It was a challenge to stay cool and smooth around her, and I'm afraid I'm gonna crack soon the next time we're out. Would a girl find a guy unattractive if he did? Also, how would a girl feel if a guy told her this? I want to say something that would make her feel special, but I'm worried it would come off as desperate; saying something along the lines of "To be honest, before I asked you out, I was worried you were out of my league. Last week, I never would have imagined we'd be out together like this." How would that sound?
Jazzari Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Also, how would a girl feel if a guy told her this? I want to say something that would make her feel special, but I'm worried it would come off as desperate; saying something along the lines of "To be honest, before I asked you out, I was worried you were out of my league. Last week, I never would have imagined we'd be out together like this." How would that sound? For me, that would be a complete turn off. I like the man to be confident and secure. I'm glad your date went well.
Author U1987 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 I'm also worried I may have pushed for sex too soon. She had told me earlier in the night that she lives with 3 other people in a small house, but they're all away on vacation or visiting family. After making out for a few minutes, I told her "this might sound presumptuous, but... c'mon. How often do you have your place to yourself?" She replied in a jokingly stern voice "This is a first date mister." I replied "Yeah, but... I have a lot of self control." She replied "Well I don't!" and then she started laughing. Then we kissed some more and parted ways. Do you think this exchange lost me any points?
gsly Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I'm also worried I may have pushed for sex too soon. She had told me earlier in the night that she lives with 3 other people in a small house, but they're all away on vacation or visiting family. After making out for a few minutes, I told her "this might sound presumptuous, but... c'mon. How often do you have your place to yourself?" She replied in a jokingly stern voice "This is a first date mister." I replied "Yeah, but... I have a lot of self control." She replied "Well I don't!" and then she started laughing. Then we kissed some more and parted ways. Do you think this exchange lost me any points? i dont think so...
Author U1987 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 Also, is it too early to do anything for Valentines Day? It's only a week and a half away but we've only had our first date.
OceanGirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Also, is it too early to do anything for Valentines Day? It's only a week and a half away but we've only had our first date. Oh you are fallin' in lurve
denise_xo Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) I'm also worried I may have pushed for sex too soon. She had told me earlier in the night that she lives with 3 other people in a small house, but they're all away on vacation or visiting family. After making out for a few minutes, I told her "this might sound presumptuous, but... c'mon. How often do you have your place to yourself?" She replied in a jokingly stern voice "This is a first date mister." I replied "Yeah, but... I have a lot of self control." She replied "Well I don't!" and then she started laughing. Then we kissed some more and parted ways. Do you think this exchange lost me any points? I think it's OK. Try not to over think and think too much ahead. Just be in the moment and enjoy your time together. Great that it turned out so good :) and don't worry too much about feeling jittery, that's just a nice part of being smitten by someone. But don't go telling her the 'before I asked you out' line. About going in one ear and out the other: About eleven years ago I approached this guy I had admired from a distance for more than a year. I was completely blown away by him and once when we were at the same party I just decided to go up and talk to him. To my great surprise, he invited me to sit down with him and we had a long chat. Now, I was fairly drunk by this point in time (back then I would never have dared approaching him in the first place if I hadn't had a few drinks - he, however, didn't/doesn't drink), so while we had a great conversation for about an hour and a half, not all of it stuck with me. So, when we went on a date two days later, I asked him at least two questions that I had already asked him that drunken nigth :o and I felt SO embarassed when he pointed it out. I was thinking to myself 'come on denise, God has granted you a few hours with this absolutely amazing man, DO YOU HAVE TO GO AND **** IT UP????' :D Edited February 4, 2011 by denise_xo
Kamille Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 :bunny: Jitters are normal U1987. When I started going out with bf, I was so attracted to him that I found it hard to concentrate on anything he said. I may have repeated questions by mistake. If I did, he never pointed it out. You don't have to be perfect. It's okay to forget stuff people say. We all do it. Just handle the mishaps with a good sense of humor and you'll be fine. You obviously did a lot of things right if you ended up making out and planning a second date. Take some time on what went right and stop looking for "mistakes" in what you did. Enjoy!
denise_xo Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 You obviously did a lot of things right if you ended up making out and planning a second date. Yes, focus on this. SHE has CHOSEN to spend time with YOU
january2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Despite the nerves, it sounds like it went well. At the very beginning of the next date, you can greet her with "you look great" and flash her a big smile. Otherwise, at this stage, in my opinion, you don't need to refer to how pretty she is or how lucky you feel.
bac Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 desperate; saying something along the lines of "To be honest, before I asked you out, I was worried you were out of my league. Last week, I never would have imagined we'd be out together like this." How would that sound? It does not sound good. You let her know that you are not good enough for her and that you think that it is impossible that she is with you. She will believe you that you are very wrong for her and that there is smth bad about you. Therefore, she will reject you because of the belief.
Kamille Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Bf gave me the out of my league line when we started dating (he still says it!) and I never found it to be a turn off - or took it too seriously. To me, it was just a way to phrase a compliment, not a statement based on reality.
Cee Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 "To be honest, before I asked you out, I was worried you were out of my league. Last week, I never would have imagined we'd be out together like this." This is not a compliment. It's a completely meaningless comparison. And it's narcissistic because you are the standard for comparison. Read this statement over and over and you'll see what I mean. I suggest you make a compliment that is about her. The best compliments I have every received were when a date notices a subtle attribute. For example, some men have noticed that my eyes (iris) have flecks of gold in them. Or men have noticed that I am very perceptive about people. Those are the kinds of compliments I like. The best compliments are spontaneous statements, not staged lines. Spend more time with this woman and the compliments will come naturally. Good luck and I really hope you get a second date. I'm thrilled for you.
Star Gazer Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 U1987, do you intend on only having a casual sexual with this girl, a casual relationship at your whim, that you think she should submit to, as you do with all the other girls? Or do you actually like this one, and want to date her and perhaps get into an exclusive relationship?
pandagirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I don't think I would be turned off by that comment IF I was also really into the guy. If I was, I'd just take it as a compliment. On my second date with my ex, we were just standing at this party, when out of nowhere he dropped his glass of wine on the floor. He was so embarrassed, and I teased him by saying: "Do I make you THAT nervous?" And he said: "Yes, yes -- actually you do." It thought it was cute.
Star Gazer Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 It sounds like he genuinely likes her. Well, it would be a big first with him, so I'd like to confirm that with him before we encourage how to "get her."
dispatch3d Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Don't tell her she's out of your league, she may believe you. Just assume you are in a league above her (easier said than done! ). Don't go overboard for valentines day. I feel like you had things go well with this girl and are wayyyyy jumping to conclusions right now, or trying to cement things down with her. Really you should be more laid back+go with the flow with stuff. Meh good first dates are good though. Good luck. Oh you haven't blown it obviously . Don't think that way, doesn't help things.
Author U1987 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 U1987, do you intend on only having a casual sexual with this girl, a casual relationship at your whim, that you think she should submit to, as you do with all the other girls? Or do you actually like this one, and want to date her and perhaps get into an exclusive relationship? She's very attractive, but it's way too soon to decide if I "like" her for her rather than just her body. At this current point in time, in all honesty, I just want to sleep with her as soon as possible, but if the opportunity arose, I can't honestly say I'd turn down the opportunity to hook up others. I still desire other women. I'm way past that stage when guys fall hard right away over a girl they just met.
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 She's very attractive, but it's way too soon to decide if I "like" her for her rather than just her body. At this current point in time, in all honesty, I just want to sleep with her as soon as possible, but if the opportunity arose, I can't honestly say I'd turn down the opportunity to hook up others. I still desire other women. As I suspected. Well then, I cannot in good conscience advise how to get into he pants. I'll leave that to the players of LS to assist you with.
Author U1987 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 As I suspected. Well then, I cannot in good conscience advise how to get into he pants. I'll leave that to the players of LS to assist you with. How do you know that girl doesn't feel the same way?
Nukulus Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 How do you know that girl doesn't feel the same way? She would have ****ed you on the first date then? Seems obvious. no? I personally think you ought to give this a chance... Not necessarily fall in love right way, but constant sex as opposed to dry spells when you're between targets sounds like a good thing. Who knows, you may actually come to like her? :lmao:hahah
Author U1987 Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 She would have ****ed you on the first date then? Seems obvious. no? Maybe her room was a mess; maybe she was on her period; maybe her dog took a dump in the living room and the whole house smelled like poop; maybe it was something else she was too embarrassed to say.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Oh, come on. When you started this thread, I think you were being honest at last. You sounded completely vulnerable and confused by having had a date with a woman - like a regular human being. Now you are back to pretending to be some kind of a player. Time to get honest.
Author U1987 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 Oh, come on. When you started this thread, I think you were being honest at last. You sounded completely vulnerable and confused by having had a date with a woman - like a regular human being. Now you are back to pretending to be some kind of a player. Time to get honest. This girl is cute and sweet, but if so are tons of girls. If she's anything like my ex-GF's I can tell you how this is going to play out; we'll date for a while, it'll be fun and exciting for the first 4-6 weeks, but eventually, we're going to learn everything there is to learn about each other, fall into a routine, things will get stale and boring and we'll break up in 3-4 months. I just don't want to fall into that trap again.
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