LadyD06 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 so i think i might be bi curious; i'm in a relationship with my boyfriend; and still see my son's father occasionally. what to do what to do?????? is it just that i have so much love and affection or am i just sick... i hit on a girl at the bar while out with some friends, asked for her number and she gave it to me. my bf wasnt with us he was at home, then i have my son's father calling and txtin me about how he wants to be with me etc etc. should i just call it quits with everyone? and 'find myself' or what? but another issue is that i cant seem to be alone no matter what i break up with someone and i always have someone there for me.
Stung Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 It's really important to learn how to be happy on your own, to stand on your own two feet. You can't find healthy relationships if you just jump from one person to the next and all you're looking for is a soft landing. But first things first. How serious are you with your current boyfriend? My guess is 'not very,' considering how lightly you seem to contemplate throwing him aside or betraying him, but if you do take this relationship seriously, you are going to have to do some hard work to save it. Right now, unless you have an agreement about an open relationship, you're treating him very badly.
Author LadyD06 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 yeah we haven't made out relationship 'official' but once we both decide to commit to each other it'll be a different story.
Stung Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Why would you want to commit to him, under these circumstances? Is he actually what you want, or are you just afraid to be alone? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being bicurious/bisexual and it's understandable that it can be hard to move on entirely from your son's father, you'll be tied to him forever and the allure of the 'happy family,' even if it's imaginary, is powerful. But surely you broke up with him for a good reason, and it's definitely not fair to your son to give him false hopes. I have known parents who continually circled 'round each other, getting back together and breaking up again--they called it passionate and 'tempestuous,' but it was really unstable, and their children were miserable and felt yanked in all directions. I guess what I'm saying is don't even go there unless you really, really feel it's going to work this time in the long term and create a stable home for your son. If you really want to be with your current bf and commit to him, you should be honest with him. Tell him your ex is sniffing around again, let him be part of the conversation when you tell your ex to back off. And tell him about your curiosity about girls. If he's like 80% of the men I've known he'll probably be open to your experimenting with other women as long as he gets to hear about it/watch/play some part in the action, but either way it's definitely cheating and deceitful to go behind his back.
fishtaco Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 This sounds like the beginning of an excellent porn. But seriously, technically you are not in the wrong, as long as you haven't had the exclusivity talk with your boyfriend. Although personally for me, I would not use the term "boyfriend/girlfriend" with someone I'm not exclusive with. But that's exactly why the term "exclusive" is used. Because all other terms are ambiguous, but there's no room to be ambiguous when you say "exclusive". If you want to play around, then play around. Don't get into an exclusive relationship. If your boyfriend is okay with it, he'll stick around, and maybe he'll play around with a few women too. If he's not okay with it, he'll bail. But that's just how it is. Only people that want the same thing can stay together.
Author LadyD06 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 th eon ly reason i say bf is cause its hard to explain how we've been together for 6 months and we're not in a exclusive relationship.... i need him to tell me we're together just us and no one else. that he introduces me to his family and friends as his gf. but havent had that yet. and i do want to be with this guy, but ur right the illusion of the 'happy family' is whorling around in my head, not good.
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