sally4sara Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 For some guys (like myself) who aren't able to attract anyone, porn is very important, it can satisfy a very basic human need up to an extent. It's all we have as far as the sexual side of things with women are concerned. It would seem quite cruel to take that away from us. I think if there was no porn, a lot of these guys, out of sheer desperation may take to stalking, stealing panties, sitting next to attractive girls on empty buses, and some may even rape (not that I'm saying I'd do any of those things). Porn has it's benefits. Ross, no amount of porn viewing will satisfy or prevent someone who desires to hurt and exert power over others via rape. No one gets a power rush over clicking a mouse. People who rape don't do it because they lack female companionship and sex.
Scottdmw Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 For some guys (like myself) who aren't able to attract anyone, porn is very important, it can satisfy a very basic human need up to an extent. It's all we have as far as the sexual side of things with women are concerned. It would seem quite cruel to take that away from us. I think if there was no porn, a lot of these guys, out of sheer desperation may take to stalking, stealing panties, sitting next to attractive girls on empty buses, and some may even rape (not that I'm saying I'd do any of those things). Porn has it's benefits. I highly doubt that you are unable to attract anyone. What is much more likely I think is you are not interested in the women that you attract right now and can easily find without going out of your way. There are two solutions to that. You could try being with a woman that you're not attracted to-- one that is older, not as thin, not as interesting, or whatever, and perhaps in time you would like her more. Or, you could improve yourself so as to be more attractive. There are many ways to do this, but they all tend to require lots of time and work. Porn kills your motivation to pursue either solution, that's the problem. It keeps you happily living in a fantasy world while the real one is passing you by. Why settle for that? Scott
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I highly doubt that you are unable to attract anyone. What is much more likely I think is you are not interested in the women that you attract right now and can easily find without going out of your way. There are two solutions to that. You could try being with a woman that you're not attracted to-- one that is older, not as thin, not as interesting, or whatever, and perhaps in time you would like her more. Or, you could improve yourself so as to be more attractive. There are many ways to do this, but they all tend to require lots of time and work. Porn kills your motivation to pursue either solution, that's the problem. It keeps you happily living in a fantasy world while the real one is passing you by. Why settle for that? Scott Im attracted to the majority of women, but none are attracted to me back, even ones who I'm not attracted to (I'm an Incel. You can find more information if you Google it). I certainly don't have high standards. In fact I think chubby women are really hot. When I didn't have any access to porn, I didn't have any more motivation to try and find someone, as for one, girls aren't interested in me in that kind of way, and for another, I wouldn't even know what to do anyway. All not having access to porn did for me, was to make me feel even more sexually frustrated and miserable.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Men are so creepy. Justifying porn just so you don't RAPE - unbelievable. No one has a right to rape a women, and your excuse doesnt fly with me either. Thats like saying its ok to look at child porn just so the pedophiles dont actually touch REAL children :mad: I don't think men do have a right to rape women, I don't think it is okay for men to rape women, even in the same situation as me. I think it's a really bad thing to do. No offense but you totally didn't get what I was saying.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Ross, no amount of porn viewing will satisfy or prevent someone who desires to hurt and exert power over others via rape. No one gets a power rush over clicking a mouse. People who rape don't do it because they lack female companionship and sex. Good point. I never thought about the fact that rape does indeed seem to be more of a power thing than sexual frustration. Still, I think if porn was banned, it would cause a lot of lonely, Incel guys, to become more creepy, like stealng panties off washing lines, or gawping at women while trying not to be seen, things like that. Like I said, porn fills a very basic human need, to an extent. If you can't get the real thing.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 like stealng panties off washing lines Sorry... this just gave me such a funny mental picture. If I ever see a washing line I seriously might steal me a pair of panties and wear them on my head the rest of the day.
30Years Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 The article is bulls**t. There's no "Perry, a 41-year-old lawyer." There's no Sadie from Boston. Writers make that sh** up to sell an article.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry... this just gave me such a funny mental picture. If I ever see a washing line I seriously might steal me a pair of panties and wear them on my head the rest of the day. Since you're a woman it should be boxers. Unless you're batting for the same team.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 The article is bulls**t. There's no "Perry, a 41-year-old lawyer." There's no Sadie from Boston. Writers make that sh** up to sell an article. I never even read through it properly, I just saw the picture of a man looking like a zombie watching porn, and thought 'bull**** from the media, trying to make you think something they don't like is bad'
30Years Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I never even read through it properly, I just saw the picture of a man looking like a zombie watching porn, and thought 'bull**** from the media, trying to make you think something they don't like is bad' Good for you - you viewed it with a critical eye. But it's not that they are seeking articles to make you think something is bad. They seek articles that generate clicks.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Good for you - you viewed it with a critical eye. But it's not that they are seeking articles to make you think something is bad. They seek articles that generate clicks. That would expain things, with the fact that most of America is heavily religious and doesn't see sex as such a positive thing.
anastarija Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) Good for you - you viewed it with a critical eye. But it's not that they are seeking articles to make you think something is bad. They seek articles that generate clicks. So, you mean porn is BS as well? It certainly generates A LOT of clicks! I agree with your critical eye comment though. Edited February 4, 2011 by anastarija
30Years Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 And I suppose porn addiction is not a real thing either, right? Never said porn addiction isn't real. Besides, what's that got to do with the validity of the article?
30Years Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 So, you mean porn is BS as well? No, I didn't mean that. Here's what I mean: The article does not reference a single authoritative source in it's conclusions or implications. Instead, it makes conclusions on supposed interviews. Consequently, one cannot rely on the validity of the article. Nevertheless, porn IS quite often BS.
Leeway Harris Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 The article does not reference a single authoritative source in it's conclusions or implications. This is a very good point. It's one of those articles that, if you want to believe it, it's gospel, and if you don't, it's bunk. It doesn't trouble itself so much with facts or data. It's basically a piece of creative writing. Personally, I can believe this problem exists, where men become addicted to porn, but I suspect it's confined to a smallish segment of the population.
anastarija Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) Media offer what attracts people. This includes, but is not limited to porn. Validity of the article is doubtful, I agree. Who are the zombie looking people in those pictures anyway?? Not Perry, a 41-year-old lawyer, that’s for sure. My point is, porn is no different. Except: Perry, a 41-year-old lawyer is Hiedi, a 23-year-old horny housewife waiting for a cable guy Ron, 27, an architecture student is Kylie, an 18-year-old slutty student who likes older meSadie, 29, a real-estate agent in Boston is Amber, a 20-year-old nurse in Boston with big knockersTony, 48, a web designer in St. Paul is Sophie, a 28-year-old secretary in St. Paul who likes anal with her boss Besides, I thought the article was just a trigger for this (rather interesting) discussion. I haven’t read all posts, but I definitely will. Edited February 5, 2011 by anastarija
TheWatcher Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 For some guys (like myself) who aren't able to attract anyone, porn is very important, it can satisfy a very basic human need up to an extent. It's all we have as far as the sexual side of things with women are concerned. It would seem quite cruel to take that away from us. I think if there was no porn, a lot of these guys, out of sheer desperation may take to stalking, stealing panties, sitting next to attractive girls on empty buses, and some may even rape (not that I'm saying I'd do any of those things). Porn has it's benefits. Its very interesting that you mention that Ross.I travel by bus & subway exclusively.I always travel hoping that an attractive woman will choose to sit next to me...as it is the closest thing to physical contact I will (conceivably) experience with a woman.I always get upset when a guy happens to sit beside me...lol I disagree with rape result from a man's sexual frustration or lack of available outlets for release.
30Years Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 My point is, porn is no different. Except: Perry, a 41-year-old lawyer is Hiedi, a 23-year-old horny housewife waiting for a cable guy Ron, 27, an architecture student is Kylie, an 18-year-old slutty student who likes older meSadie, 29, a real-estate agent in Boston is Amber, a 20-year-old nurse in Boston with big knockersTony, 48, a web designer in St. Paul is Sophie, a 28-year-old secretary in St. Paul who likes anal with her boss . LMAO!! That is hilarious!
boshemia Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 There is a big difference between looking at a little bit of porn and developing an addiction. When you continue to do something despite the negative effects it is having on your life it is addiction. I was with a porn addict once, and it had nothing to do with how accessible I was to him. He just wasn't interested in anything that involved pleasing a partner. I know a lot of girls rank it up there with cheating but as long as nobody is lying to me or hiding it I don't really have a problem. That's why dating a porn addict was so confusing for me... I even took him to strip clubs. He just preferred himself...
dreamingoftigers Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 dreamingoftigers said, If you really wanted him gone, he would be gone. I just told him tonight about ten minutes ago that I wasn't willing to keep trying to repair this relationship anymore and I want to be out of it. Why torture yourself, on and on? I never wanted our daughter to be a child of divorce. I wanted her to grow up in a healthy happy hone with two parents that lived her and each other. If I gave up and left, then that would close that door forever without making sure that there wasn't even that 1% chance of success. I still think that there might be that 1% but I cannot go on in a relationship where I am shown NO affection and the other party presents me daily with a list of every awful thing that I am or have done without any recourse for redeeming myself. Especiallly when they are unwilling to stop the dealbreakers that they do relentlessly. If he does care one iota I am sorry for hi That he is completely unable of expressing it. Well you already know what kind of man he is which isn't much, right? I don't feel that he isn't much of a man. I think and feel that he has little to no interest in me as a person or spouse. So it does say something about you that you've stayed in spite of it. That I am patient and extremely dedicated to family, my daughter and the vows I took. Someof it is good, some of it might not be so good as in why would you put up with it and him? Are you a martyr? If so, what need does that fulfill within you? I wanted a family more then anything else in my life. I still do. That won't happen now. I had to make a choice between the extremely slim chance of having a family and living with an ever-crumbling future with someone who stays out all night and let's me know his much he wishes I weren't here. I couldn't do it and keep my sanity and spirit anymore. I am terrified for the relationships my daughter will have as she gets older.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Since you're a woman it should be boxers. Unless you're batting for the same team. I am straight. I was thinking along the lines of the Mardi Gras panties I will be getting if I get to go to Mardi Gras this year. I will wear them on my head like a an idiot. All lacy and frilly and silly. Boxers on my head... I might not be able to see... and when I think of wearing mens briefs on my head... I get a horrible mental image of the RR tracks and stains on my stbxH's briefs and want to get all barfy. I'd seriously use a stick when I'd put his undergarments in the washer... ICK.
Ross PK Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Its very interesting that you mention that Ross.I travel by bus & subway exclusively.I always travel hoping that an attractive woman will choose to sit next to me...as it is the closest thing to physical contact I will (conceivably) experience with a woman.I always get upset when a guy happens to sit beside me...lol I disagree with rape result from a man's sexual frustration or lack of available outlets for release. Same here. I always hope a women will sit close to me. I love the feeling of being physically close to a woman, since that's the most I can get.
Ross PK Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 There is a big difference between looking at a little bit of porn and developing an addiction. When you continue to do something despite the negative effects it is having on your life it is addiction. I was with a porn addict once, and it had nothing to do with how accessible I was to him. He just wasn't interested in anything that involved pleasing a partner. I know a lot of girls rank it up there with cheating but as long as nobody is lying to me or hiding it I don't really have a problem. That's why dating a porn addict was so confusing for me... I even took him to strip clubs. He just preferred himself... I'll never be able to understand how a guy could prefer porn over the real thing.
Scottdmw Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Im attracted to the majority of women, but none are attracted to me back, even ones who I'm not attracted to (I'm an Incel. You can find more information if you Google it). I certainly don't have high standards. In fact I think chubby women are really hot. When I didn't have any access to porn, I didn't have any more motivation to try and find someone, as for one, girls aren't interested in me in that kind of way, and for another, I wouldn't even know what to do anyway. All not having access to porn did for me, was to make me feel even more sexually frustrated and miserable. Interesting, I never heard the term incel before. I would be a little cautious about applying such a term to yourself like it is a definite sure thing that can't change. It's one of those things where it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You say you are attracted to the majority of women. I wonder though what you mean by that, and if you are limiting yourself more than you think you are. I will use an extreme example and ask you, are you attracted to women who are 15 years older than you? I'm not necessarily suggesting you go and try to date someone like that, but it would be a lot easier. Have you ever met women from another country significantly different from your own? Sometimes there are “international” groups in various cities where people from other countries get together. I went to one of those myself after a long period of no dating, and I found that women from other countries worked better for me for some reason. Maybe it's because people find others more attractive when they are exotic. Maybe it's because the women at those groups were not having a lot of luck dating Americans, but they wanted to. Maybe the dating culture in their native countries is just different enough that whatever the reason I was having relating to American women was not an issue there. It's something worth trying anyway. To take this to an extreme, if you really wanted to solve your problem, you could move to a country where Western men are in high demand. In a place like that you might find things were much different for you. I have heard men talk about things like feeling like they were “a piece of meat” or “an American supermodel” when walking down the street upon moving to some countries. Some of that may be overly hyped, but I think there is some truth to it. My point is that you are probably limiting yourself in some way that you don't realize. If what you are doing now isn't working, try something else. Scott
TheWatcher Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Same here. I always hope a women will sit close to me. I love the feeling of being physically close to a woman, since that's the most I can get. Same thing here,brother.It's kind of pathetic but you take what you can get,right ? Its funny but If we drove ...We would never have the opportunity to be physically close to a woman
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