Jlovestruckx0 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I find myself feeling lousy in my relationship a lot of the time. My boyfriend started our relationship being affectionate , a total prince charming. Its been two years now and things have gone down hill as far as affection and attention. I feel he is so happy around other people, he never wants to go out alone he always invites friends , hes not the kind of person who can verbally express his feelings never the less show them. Im left feeling unappreciated , unwanted, and just miserable. I always give him affectionate , i kiss him a lot , i call him cute always tell him I love him, but I don't get anything in return. I just want some attention , I want to be able to see that he loves me, i know he does but how long can i go on just knowing , & not feeling it. I feel maybe he got too comfortable? It's like you would never tell the difference between me and some other girl , because i dont get treated any differently , i feel like his friend , not the girl he "loves" ... How can i get him to be more affectionate , or how can i say it to him and actually get some improvement, is it me?
Mrlonelyone Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I feel he is so happy around other people, he never wants to go out alone he always invites friends , hes not the kind of person who can verbally express his feelings never the less show them. Im left feeling unappreciated , unwanted, and just miserable. I always give him affectionate , i kiss him a lot , i call him cute always tell him I love him, but I don't get anything in return. I just want some attention , I want to be able to see that he loves me, ....... I know he was affectionate to start with but how to put this delicately... You choose a man who it would be hard to get that kind of attention from because you like to fight to get the attention. Sometimes it's like what those guys who talk about bad boy vs nice guy "challenge" and all that say. I'll bet if he was just as romantic as he was at the begining of your relationship he might "smother" you. He likely thinks that will happen too. So I will say suggest the following: Have a frank and honest talk where you tell him what you want. Tell him that again and again until he sees that it's really what you want and your not just saying it. Then don't come back saying that he's smothering you now:)
Eddie Edirol Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Stop giving him so much attention and affection and telling him you love him, and he will notice. He wont feel the urge to show you affection when youre doing it to him so much. Plus youre out of the honeymoon phase, things are gonna slow down.
A O Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 My boyfriend started our relationship being affectionate , a total prince charming. A lot of men are affectionate and romantic, a regular prince charming in the early stages of a relationship. They're putting their best foot forward, but it isn't necessarily their natural selves. It is a form of dating, of corralling a woman. Your man maybe one of these. How can i get him to be more affectionate , or how can i say it to him and actually get some improvement, is it me?As has already been mentioned - "Talk" to him. Express your feelings, your desires, your concerns. Talking, expressing what is on your mind is half the battle won. If you're able to do this, as in he actually takes time to listen to what you have to say, then things maybe able to improve for you. If you can't, then I'm afraid to say that things are unlikely to get better for you. .
Ay Diesel T Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I find myself feeling lousy in my relationship a lot of the time. My boyfriend started our relationship being affectionate , a total prince charming. Its been two years now and things have gone down hill as far as affection and attention. I feel he is so happy around other people, he never wants to go out alone he always invites friends , hes not the kind of person who can verbally express his feelings never the less show them. Im left feeling unappreciated , unwanted, and just miserable. I always give him affectionate , i kiss him a lot , i call him cute always tell him I love him, but I don't get anything in return. I just want some attention , I want to be able to see that he loves me, i know he does but how long can i go on just knowing , & not feeling it. I feel maybe he got too comfortable? It's like you would never tell the difference between me and some other girl , because i dont get treated any differently , i feel like his friend , not the girl he "loves" ... How can i get him to be more affectionate , or how can i say it to him and actually get some improvement, is it me? If you know he loves you, what's wrong here? Does he make the effort to see you? Be with you? Is he there when you need him? To me, these actions in a man will truely show his love for you. Men are infamous for not voicing their love, but rather showing it through simple actions that a man wouldn't do for just any woman. Also, it MAY be possible your BF was running game when he first met you. After a while, a guy gets comfortable, and stops being on his game - this is when the true person is visible. It's why I always preach to the youngins "Game is overrated. Just be yourself."
zengirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Talk to him. Make sure you do it calmly and in a logical, short fashion, so he can process it. If he cares about you, he'll listen. And if he cares about you and is capable of changing, you'll see some effort. I'd say it's important to reinforce any effort (if you see even the slightest of affectionate behavior, act like it's amazing) immediately, which will make him want to do more and know he's on the right track.
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