elastica Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Hi all, I am sharing this story with you because I find it slightly unusual. My sister's FWB from last year has recently contacted her and invited her for a coffee. They were involved for about 6 months, and have basically agreed on FWB at the beginning. She was feeling a little sad when he suddenly disappeared last year, cutting all contacts with her. She called him and texted him a few times in hope of a closure, but he didn't respond. Her unhappiness was not caused by unrequited love or anything, but because of the way he handled the situation - she was disappointed in him as a person for disappearing like that. When the guy contacted her I told her she shouldn't go. But she claimed that she has no hard feelings at all, and in no way can this person/the meeting itself disturb her emotionally. So why not? She went to the meeting and the guy told her he fell in love with her, but was too embarrassed to tell her (since they have agreed on FWB previously). Plus, he heard from their mutual friends that she was dating around, and (although it was absolutely not true) his feeling were hurt. Anyway, this came as a huge shock for her because of several reasons. Actually she is very disturbed and surprised by all this, especially because 1. she had no idea, 2. why didn't he say it before? But it doesn't matter anymore. I wonder how many people feel like this in similar arrangements, and don't say anything. Plus it is not very common for a man to develop feelings for FWB, or at least that's what I thought...
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) I wonder this as well. I have been in FB situation with this guy since last May. We didn't start off as friends or start off dating. It was only for sex - nothing more. When I moved away we promised to stay friends. This isn't someone I ever hang out with , called or had casual conversations with when we were seeing each other every week. It is usually small talk, sex and leave. When we are together everything is great , when we aren't - we don't exist to each other. Since I am away we do talk much more. Usually asking each other for advice and what not.I was going though a hard time and he was the only person that helped. Sometimes I do wonder if he have feelings for me , since he is one of the most respectful guys I have ever been with. If he did he probably would never tell me - since it wouldn't work out anyway.In these type of situations you never know. I don't think it is uncommon for men to develop feelings in FWB I just think men are less likely to admit it. Didn't finish making my point(at work...lol) If your sister actually had a conversation with this guy about having FWB. Can imagine how he must have felt falling for ? He didn't want to get rejected so he ran. Like most people do. I am surpised he returned? So what is going on now with them? Yet , he could have at least had closure . Even if it was a lie . But why do people do many things? This isn't actaully new. Edited February 3, 2011 by SmileFace
spackle Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I agree, it's confusing and hurtful when people drop off like that, even more confusing when they re-connect. I guess it depends/depended on how well they got on when they did meet. Thing is, most people don't need to be told they're acting like a jerk, they already know.
bac Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Some women believe that if they have sex with FWBs/ONS's guy, he might fall in love with them. It is the reason why they do FWBs/ONSs. Men do believe in many unrealistic things about women as well. For example, they do believe that most women have orgasms most of the times that they have sex with men.
Mad Max Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Further proof why FWB's damage women. Very few women can handle it. The guys was a class A jerk, no doubt about it. FWB's rarely end well. Someone almost always wants more, usually the woman.
Akumark Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I don't think it is uncommon for men to develop feelings in FWB I just think men are less likely to admit it. FWB relations rarely ends well like Max said. I still do think it's better than just being alone for obvious reasons. The type of person your with also greatly change the dynamic of it. My previous one lasted 6 months, she was in love after 2 months, I wasn't, continued for 4 months in an unhealty way, then brutaly ended. AFTER it was over I had to admit I started to have feelings for her, and there I was on LS We don't talk to each other to this day after 2 months, we did make weak attempt to text recently but it didn't lead to anything. Anyways I now have a new FWB and we do connect a lot as persons, I was interested at first but she seams to be adamant about keeping her freedom so I'm just leaving things to life and go with the flow until more happens and if I don't feel ok about it eventualy I will just honorably bow and walk away.
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