xxoo Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I actually agreed with both of you on this, too. I think most people on these fora believe that sex is important in a relationship, even the women. Absolutely! I think sex is super important in a relationship, and a lot of my ideas are intended to help people get (or keep) that energy in the relationship. I have a steamy marriage (I know you do, too, Stung!), so I hope I have some kind of wisdom to offer on the subject I got disgusted with the guy in the interview because I read it as "married sex is inevitably dull, so why try to make it intimate and hot? I'll have hot sex elsewhere." And I think that's crap
2long Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 He may not be honest with her but at least he is honest with himself A Narcissist who's honest with himself? I suppose it's possible. He's managed 2 live like this for quite a long time, but all it will take is an emergency phone call at the wrong time because someone's sick or had an accident, or somebody butt-dials a family member while he's boinking one of his playthings, and then the whole game will change in an instant. -ol' 2long
2long Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 How old are all of you if you dont mind me asking I'm only on page 4, mind you, so my answer might change after reading more. But from what I've seen so far on this thread, I'd be willing 2 bet large sums of the other posters' cash that I'm old enough 2 be your grandfather. -ol' 2long
2long Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 What created my viewpoint? observations of many many different people... talking to them...asking their opinions...combined with my own experiences. My mistake is I didnt listen to any of them and wasnt ready to acknowledge them until after I got married...thats my bad. But I've always been the type not to judge quickly like all others here...even back when I wasnt the type to cheat AT ALL (Yup we ALL change people...deal with it); I just was never short sighted like that. My Dad even cheated on my mom and as much as I love (and still love) both of them to pieces...I had no opinion of that either..and again that was back when I would have never cheated. I understand a little better now. Our very different family his2ries have made us very different kinds of adults, I suppose. So, maybe I'm not old enough 2 be your grandfather after all. My parents were faithful 2 each other their whole lives. And though they've both been gone several years now, I'm pretty sure their integrity rubbed off on me. Not saying I'm a saint, but I sure would never do something so horrible as cheat on them. As for the wife not being impacted because she doesn't know? I didn't know about my W's affair for 11 years, but I was most definitely impacted. I just didn't know what was wrong. Like I said, this guy in the interview might just get along fine for the rest of his life with this shallow and selfish perspective. Even if he confesses or gets found out at some point, we're unlikely 2 hear about it. -ol' 2long
StoneCold Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 A Narcissist who's honest with himself? How is he a narcissist?
StoneCold Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I was going to say where I thought I'd heard the name "Summer Breeze" before, but I'd better not. A least shes fresh and clean... Nothing worse than a foul smelling cat
Distant78 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 How is he a narcissist? How is he not a narcissist? Sticking his penis in other women, including married women, for years at a time while he's married to someone he vowed to cherish and love faithfully? If the guy wants to be a stud why is he married?
StoneCold Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 How is he not a narcissist? Sticking his penis in other women, including married women, for years at a time while he's married to someone he vowed to cherish and love faithfully? If the guy wants to be a stud why is he married? that doesnt explain how he is a narcissist
Summer Breeze Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 A least shes fresh and clean... Nothing worse than a foul smelling cat I'm highly offended. Not!
2long Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 How is he a narcissist? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism though "simple selfishness" probably applies most readily here. -ol' 2long
Distant78 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 that doesnt explain how he is a narcissist Yes it does.
StoneCold Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism though "simple selfishness" probably applies most readily here. -ol' 2long "Simple Selfishness" huh So then I guess we are all narcissistic to varying degrees. That includes you. If being narcissistic is wrong I dont wanna be right. Right Donna? Edited February 10, 2011 by StoneCold
donnamaybe Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 "Simple Selfishness" huh So then I guess we are all narcissistic to varying degrees. That includes you. If being narcissistic is wrong I dont wanna be right. Right Donna? Well, we all want things for ourselves, for sure. However, I don't step on people to get mine. If I wanted more than one person to screw while in a R, I'd tell 'em. I don't keep anyone in the dark.
Distant78 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Well, we all want things for ourselves, for sure. However, I don't step on people to get mine. If I wanted more than one person to screw while in a R, I'd tell 'em. I don't keep anyone in the dark. Right. And we don't give our spouses something that will have them scratching their private parts excessively.
2long Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 "Simple Selfishness" huh So then I guess we are all narcissistic to varying degrees. I don't think so. Being a narcissist is an extreme form of selfishness. No empathy for those that the narcissist is using. That includes you. No, that does not include me. -ol' 2long
2long Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I'm kind of surprised nobody picked up on this part of the interview, which I thought was uproarously funny: Question: Are you a spiritual person? Are you religious? Roy: I'm a Christian, if that's what you mean. Question: You see no contradiction between Christian teachings and your way of life? Roy: Well, Jesus wasn't married, so what does he know about the matter. Anyhow, I think the church is the last institution that has a right to interfere in people's lives. The church is no better or worse than any of us. Human sexuality is probably a lot more complicated than the religious folks would have us believe. I'm not religious, but I used 2 be. Most people I know who call themselves "Christian" would not consider this Roy Christian by any stretch. And, "human sexuality", or more properly - human relationships - are no more complicated than we make them. This statement is nothing more than a Rube Goldberg rationalization of his narcissistic behavior. -ol' 2long
StoneCold Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) I'm not religious, but I used 2 be. Most people I know who call themselves "Christian" would not consider this Roy Christian by any stretch. Hes quite typical... MOST Chirstians who call themselves Christians are only Christian when its convenient for them... They're Christian... but they're racist They're Christian...but they lie They're Christian... but they have premarital sex They're Christian... but they kill They're Christian...but they decieve They are always moving the goal post and its different every time so I don't see the point in you bring this up. Its like you want to find reasons to pile up on a guy that simply sees things different from you. Edited February 12, 2011 by StoneCold
StoneCold Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't think so. Being a narcissist is an extreme form of selfishness. No empathy for those that the narcissist is using. Note I said varying degrees.... and we all have been extreme at times but probably just in different situations and contexts...so I guess its easy for you to point at him because hes extreme in a way that you're not. But it doesnt mean you arent narcissistic to some degree within some other circumstance/situation. methinks this could be a convenient story of the kettle calling the pot black
seren Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 How come you didn't tell her that her husband was cheating on her? Sorry, late coming to this, I didn't tell the wife as I only met her in passing. I had known my friend all my life, she is more like a sister to me, had just lost her grandson at 18 months old, then her Dad. The meeting with the wife was fleeting, is this making excuses? possibly, but I couldn't imagine saying hi, hope you are feeling better and the op went well, oh and by the way your H has been having an A with my best friend for 15 years. If she was known to me then yes, I would have told her, or rather told her H that if he didn't then I would have. Cop out by me? again yes, but my friend needed me more at that time and frankly didn't need anymore grief going her way. I am afraid I too believed that he was leaving, that he was just there for care (he was a nurse) and that as soon as she had recovered, he was leaving. Possibly had it been after my D Day I might have reacted differently - does that make me selfish, yes and would I do it all different now? Absolutely.
bentnotbroken Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I'm kind of surprised nobody picked up on this part of the interview, which I thought was uproarously funny: I'm not religious, but I used 2 be. Most people I know who call themselves "Christian" would not consider this Roy Christian by any stretch. And, "human sexuality", or more properly - human relationships - are no more complicated than we make them. This statement is nothing more than a Rube Goldberg rationalization of his narcissistic behavior. -ol' 2long I did, but I didn't want infractions because I felt very strongly about what he said, so I probably would have said something that would have gotten me banned. I may be a Christian, but at this point he is Christian making the choice not to live by God's word or law. For some just entering a building that is deemed a church makes them a Christian. Christians sin daily(they are still flesh and blood)but they typically don't make a lifestyle of sin. He is comfortable with the label of being a Christian but not willing to have the principles applied to his heart and therefore his actions. He makes those of us who are constantly trying to not do the wrong thing and are Christian look pretty bad. Oh well, is the way of the world with any group you belong to. There are donkey butts;) in every group.
StoneCold Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Christians sin daily(they are still flesh and blood)but they typically don't make a lifestyle of sin. please see below They're Christian... but they're racist They're Christian... but they have premarital sex
2long Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Hes quite typical... MOST Chirstians who call themselves Christians are only Christian when its convenient for them... I see your point about most people. But this guy's rationalization is still rather extreme compared 2 most people. They are always moving the goal post and its different every time so I don't see the point in you bring this up. Its like you want to find reasons to pile up on a guy that simply sees things different from you. It only appears that I'm piling on this guy because his interview is the subject of this thread, and because he is such a glaring example of narcissistic behavior. But I'm delighted that I see things differently from him. -ol' 2long
2long Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Note I said varying degrees.... and we all have been extreme at times but probably just in different situations and contexts...so I guess its easy for you to point at him because hes extreme in a way that you're not. But it doesnt mean you arent narcissistic to some degree within some other circumstance/situation. methinks this could be a convenient story of the kettle calling the pot black Well I'm no kettle, but I do see your point. And I do agree that many of us, including me perhaps (though I am having a hard time pic2ring it) display narcissistic behavior at times. One of the things I have learned 2 do since discovering my wife's affair 9 years ago, is 2 watch my own behavior (the only thing I could ever control, really) and weed out the negative things - perhaps including selfish choices - that I was doing that were harmful 2 my marriage. So, if anything, assuming I ever was narcissistic before discovering my wife's affair, I've been far less so since, because I know what 2 look for and I've been vigilant. I've been doing the opposite of what this "black pot" has been doing. And I'm certainly not trying 2 rationalize that his kind of selfish use of at least 3 other people is in any way justifiable. -ol' 2long
Author Wandaland Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 Sorry, late coming to this, I didn't tell the wife as I only met her in passing. I had known my friend all my life, she is more like a sister to me, had just lost her grandson at 18 months old, then her Dad. The meeting with the wife was fleeting, is this making excuses? possibly, but I couldn't imagine saying hi, hope you are feeling better and the op went well, oh and by the way your H has been having an A with my best friend for 15 years. If she was known to me then yes, I would have told her, or rather told her H that if he didn't then I would have. Cop out by me? again yes, but my friend needed me more at that time and frankly didn't need anymore grief going her way. I am afraid I too believed that he was leaving, that he was just there for care (he was a nurse) and that as soon as she had recovered, he was leaving. Possibly had it been after my D Day I might have reacted differently - does that make me selfish, yes and would I do it all different now? Absolutely. It just sucks that he got away with it, though. It upsets me that she might never know the kind of man he really is.
Recommended Posts