lilbunny Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I have been away from LS for sometime. I thought it was best to focus on IC and only have one voice of reason to concentrate on for a while. I was in a bad way at times and would like to say a big thanks to everyone who was around to keep me going. I hope everyone is well. An update for those of you who remember my story: I am in a much better place emotionally. xMM and I are generally on good terms and have done much to forge some sort of a working relationship. It took an awfully long time for us to sit down and talk about what happened (I was ready, he wasn't) and it was quite cathartic when we eventually did. I am in a reasonably good place and dating again. I generally do feel quite happy with life. The spark is still there sometimes, but that doesn't mean we have to act on it. I feel very optimistic and positive about things, very much in control. So I suppose I have come in for a reality check, and will revisit the first question I ever posted, am I kidding myself here? Is this too good to be true?
Mimolicious Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Glad to see you and hear that you are working towards finding that "better place". Only you can get yourself there. I am proud of you LilB! Good luck and keep strong babygirl. One day, you will look back and laugh at it all!
Author lilbunny Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Thanks so much hun, I'm getting there I'm just not sure I quite believe it yet! love the new show btw!
TigerCub Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Hey lilbunny :bunny: I've missed seeing you around! I'm very happy to hear that you're doing much better - it comes through in your post for sure, you sound way more at peace. You said at the end of your post that you're revisiting the question of "is it too good to be true" - does that mean that you're still holding out hope that things might work out? I'm honestly just curious and its not a judgmental question in any way. I just hope that you're happy, you really sound like you are. Stay strong sweets and keep doing what's best for you. Really good to hear from ya
Author lilbunny Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Hey TC, good to hear things are looking up for you too. I guess 'too good to be true' stems from the fact that I really didn't think there was anything at all salvagable from the whole thing and I think we are in a really good place. Common wisdom dictates that total NC/ any sort of post affair friendship is impossible and it will ultimately result in the affair restarting. I know there is still some degree of sexual tension, but we acknowledge it and make a joke of it. It seems to work for us. I also feel like I've come a very long way in a short time and I guess I didn't really expect to feel anything like better any time soon!
whichwayisup Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I have been away from LS for sometime. I thought it was best to focus on IC and only have one voice of reason to concentrate on for a while. I was in a bad way at times and would like to say a big thanks to everyone who was around to keep me going. I hope everyone is well. An update for those of you who remember my story: I am in a much better place emotionally. xMM and I are generally on good terms and have done much to forge some sort of a working relationship. It took an awfully long time for us to sit down and talk about what happened (I was ready, he wasn't) and it was quite cathartic when we eventually did. I am in a reasonably good place and dating again. I generally do feel quite happy with life. The spark is still there sometimes, but that doesn't mean we have to act on it. I feel very optimistic and positive about things, very much in control. So I suppose I have come in for a reality check, and will revisit the first question I ever posted, am I kidding myself here? Is this too good to be true? Enjoy it and just go with the flow (meaning dating new people). Congrats on being in a healthier, happier place! As for exMM, less you talk to him, the better. Keep it short and sweet, professional..No personal chit chat and don't talk about your life with him, don't ask him anything about his.
seren Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Good to hear you are in a good place for you, I hope it all works out for you, anything and everything is possible. I think you sound so much happier, good for you LB !!
OWoman Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 (((hugs)))) lb and great to see you back! Your feeling that it might be "too good to be true" suggests to me that it still doesn't feel quite real to you. Perhaps that is just because it's not yet what's familiar and "normal" to you - or perhaps it's because you're both still tip-toeing around each other and neither have yet found a comfortable zone where you can just be yourselves and go with the flow. If it's the latter, and if it persists, you may find that NC is what will work for you -I guess it's one of those "time will tell" scenarios.
BB07 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Hey LB, I'm glad to hear from you and it's even better news that you are in a better head space. Happy for you girl!
Fight4Me Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Good to see you back. You made a very healthy decision to step back from LS and concentrate on IC. That's not to say LS isn't helpful, but clearly for you, that's what you needed to do and it's a testimony to the fact that you are very much interested in putting all this behind you. Is it too good to be true? I don't think so, not the way you describe how you're doing, but I naturally side with those who say to keep those firm boundaries in place. You may be strong, be he may not be.
Hazyhead Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I think you're doing really well - your strength comes through your posts. I hope it does carry on the way it is - it's much more pleasant to end things on positive terms - kinda wish I had that luxury. However, I don't have to work with my xMM, and I am always impressed by those who manage to do so in the manner you are. Well done :bunny:
Author lilbunny Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Thanks everyone, work is a bit (ok a lot) manic so I'm an infrequent visitor so sorry it's been a while, but all good wishes appreciated. We could hardly look at each other for so long and I still think things are a bit fragile, but it genuinely does seem to be getting more relaxed and in fairness we have always worked well together and seem to be getting back to that. Just booked a holiday with my new guy, can't wait!
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