ayjt80 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I broke up several weeks back. In fact she called it off and said that there were many things that she had to work on. The more it think about it the more i agree with the breakup. Now would NC be the way to go? Im perfectly fine with viewing her as a friend and I love her to death, just not as a girlfriend. She does have some serious issues and I would do anything i can for her. I have backed away from talking to her all the time but I do talk to her when she calls. and I return her texts. I was very sad for about 2 weeks but I guess it was good viewing things with a clear head and not through love tinted glasses. But for her would it be heathy to be friends with her? She said she wants to be friends but i dont know if she meant it of was just saying the standard breakup line.
TheThinker Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 You say she broke it off but how does she feel - is she still in contact with you every day - does she still tell you she loves you etc Let her know how you feel - explain that you think it was a good idea ... But also be prepared that as much as you may like being friends with her, how would you feel if you saw her with someone else. How would she react if you were with someone else ... ??
LifeIsGreat Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Here's the other thing about staying friends with your ex..... You have already decided she is not the one for you (congrats, by the way). If you try to be friends (whether now, or a bit down the road) it would be very easy for you guys to wind up back together. Personally, if I have truly been in love with someone I can't go back at some point at just be friends. However, if I have simply 'dated' someone for a while without it turning into a full blown relationship, then I CAN be friends with her.
cerridwen Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I broke up several weeks back. In fact she called it off and said that there were many things that she had to work on. The more it think about it the more i agree with the breakup. Now would NC be the way to go? I'm perfectly fine with viewing her as a friend and I love her to death, just not as a girlfriend. She does have some serious issues and I would do anything i can for her. I have backed away from talking to her all the time but I do talk to her when she calls. and I return her texts. I was very sad for about 2 weeks but I guess it was good viewing things with a clear head and not through love tinted glasses. But for her would it be heathy to be friends with her? She said she wants to be friends but i dont know if she meant it of was just saying the standard breakup line. It's interesting to have a dumpee so concerned about the well-being of the dumper. I'm actually more concerned for you. Feelings oscillate. You maybe fine today but what about a week from now? If you read the Post Here Instead of Contacting Your Ex thread, you'll see how drastically feelings change after a breakup--particularly for the dumpee. Given that, I recommend giving your healing more time before coming to the conclusion that you're really okay with it. In terms of her health with being just friends, it's likely she'll be just fine. She has you assisting in her getting over it.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Here's the other thing about staying friends with your ex..... You have already decided she is not the one for you (congrats, by the way). If you try to be friends (whether now, or a bit down the road) it would be very easy for you guys to wind up back together. Personally, if I have truly been in love with someone I can't go back at some point at just be friends. However, if I have simply 'dated' someone for a while without it turning into a full blown relationship, then I CAN be friends with her. Yeah I would agree with this. It's easier to become friends with someone who you just casually dated. I am not friends with either of my serious ex bf's who I was in love with. I know people who are friends after almost getting married and I just wonder how they could do that.
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