hotgurl Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 My husband and I have been together ten years this October. And while for the most part I am happy. I feel like I have hit a wall. I have never ever been with anyone this long. Our big problem is sex we don't have it and I want it a lot. Maybe we have sex once a month. And also maybe I am a little bored. I guess. Plus I feel like I used to be fun and happy and spontanous now I feel like a nagging wife. I feel bitchy and I don't want to be that person. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 you feel bitchy because one of your most fundamental needs - sex - is not met. After two weeks without it, I start getting really moody. It's inevitable. Once a month is very little, so I'm not surprise you are climbing walls. Boredom in the bedroom is another killer. Our sex life has become (only recently) very routine-like and man, it sucks (pun not intended)! I suppose you've probably already talked to your husband about it... what's the reason? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 you feel bitchy because one of your most fundamental needs - sex - is not met. After two weeks without it, I start getting really moody. It's inevitable. Once a month is very little, so I'm not surprise you are climbing walls. Boredom in the bedroom is another killer. Our sex life has become (only recently) very routine-like and man, it sucks (pun not intended)! I suppose you've probably already talked to your husband about it... what's the reason? Time is the biggest reason. When we were dating my daughter was 6 and went to bed at 7:30. We had jobs that started at 10am. So plenty of evening sex. Now DD is 15 goes to bed at 10pm. I go to bed at 10:30 because I have to get up at 6pm. HE gets up at 5pm. HE goes to be at midnight but takes naps after dinner. Weekends Sunday I am up & out at 6:30 for skiing. so saturday is the only morning we have avaialble and I tend to be a late sleeper. But ican wake up. Also he says I am too loud and is afriad I will wake up DD. She is a homebody so we always are the ones who have the kids over and take the kids places. ANd when we do have sex it is the same I ask he says ok lays in bed does xyz blah blah blah. The only thing keeping me in check is being on BC which lowers my libdo otherwise I want sex daily and am climbing the walls. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Now DD is 15 goes to bed at 10pm. I go to bed at 10:30 because I have to get up at 6pm. HE gets up at 5pm. HE goes to be at midnight but takes naps after dinner.. Did you mean you get up and 6 and 5 am? We have similar issues evening schedule issues. Most nights, I go to bed with him around 10:30, we have intimacy (often sex), and then I get back up after he falls asleep. It really is about making alone time a priority, or not, and we make it a priority. About waking your dd--that's unlikely to happen in the first few hours of sleep. But if you did, so what? She's 15. She isn't going to be scarred. Still, you could kill two birds with one stone (the boredom, and the noise) by pretending you are sneaking sex, muffling noises, etc. Sneaking can be hot! If you want exciting sex, be exciting in bed. Do something unexpected. Change it up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 Did you mean you get up and 6 and 5 am? We have similar issues evening schedule issues. Most nights, I go to bed with him around 10:30, we have intimacy (often sex), and then I get back up after he falls asleep. It really is about making alone time a priority, or not, and we make it a priority. About waking your dd--that's unlikely to happen in the first few hours of sleep. But if you did, so what? She's 15. She isn't going to be scarred. Still, you could kill two birds with one stone (the boredom, and the noise) by pretending you are sneaking sex, muffling noises, etc. Sneaking can be hot! If you want exciting sex, be exciting in bed. Do something unexpected. Change it up! yes he gets up at 5am and me at 6am. I am not a morning person. so it is hard for me to have such an early schedule. I am also super tired like all the time. I just wish Saturday we could have some sex. But He also uses my daugther as an excuse. She was working at a camp for 4 weeks last year. So we had 4 weeks no kid and I was thinkingyes sex every nigth I basically had to beg to get it once a week. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 HE actually just called and I said you know we haven't been away together since our honeymoon just the two of us. Maybe we should stay at a B&B for the weekend. The timing is pimpin! Sounds like your requests have been heard! Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Time is the biggest reason. When we were dating my daughter was 6 and went to bed at 7:30. We had jobs that started at 10am. So plenty of evening sex. Now DD is 15 goes to bed at 10pm. I go to bed at 10:30 because I have to get up at 6pm. HE gets up at 5pm. HE goes to be at midnight but takes naps after dinner. Weekends Sunday I am up & out at 6:30 for skiing. so saturday is the only morning we have avaialble and I tend to be a late sleeper. But ican wake up. Also he says I am too loud and is afriad I will wake up DD. She is a homebody so we always are the ones who have the kids over and take the kids places. ANd when we do have sex it is the same I ask he says ok lays in bed does xyz blah blah blah. The only thing keeping me in check is being on BC which lowers my libdo otherwise I want sex daily and am climbing the walls. sounds familiar... apparently, men have to be in the mood too! Jokes apart, I feel for you. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 HE actually just called and I said you know we haven't been away together since our honeymoon just the two of us. Maybe we should stay at a B&B for the weekend.. Sounds really nice! Hopefully this will kickstart some intimacy. Still, if it isn't the schedule or the kid, what IS the real reason you aren't having sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Sounds really nice! Hopefully this will kickstart some intimacy. Still, if it isn't the schedule or the kid, what IS the real reason you aren't having sex? Honestly I thinkmostly it is the schedule. We talked about moving our bedroom upstairs so it is not right next to DD and he agreed. When we were first dating we had sex all the time until we bought the house. But than we worked at the same place livde in town had our lunch hour together so you can imagine what we did. Also we had date night so every Friday night and Sat am was sex time. Now we work 1/2 in opposite directions of each other. But it is making me neurotic. Because even when the kid is out it seems like I have to beg for sex. You would think as a guy he'd be all over it. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 You would think as a guy he'd be all over it. I would... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 well it is making me crazy sometime sI think he is cheating but I don't know. I am paranoid though Link to post Share on other sites
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 My marriage never got to what I would define as 'sexless,' meaning less than once a one or twice a month, but it certainly felt that way when I wanted it and she didn't. A great resource for me was the book by Michelle Weiner-Davis entitled "The Sex Starved Marriage." I can't say enough about the book and how well it helped to allow the way I looked at things to shift dramatically, and then everything started to fall into place... She even wrote a version specifically for women entitled "The Sex Starved Wife." I really can't enough about her as an advocate for marriage and improving couples... Another resource that I love, and my wife has loved even more are the titles by Laura Corn, these include "101 Nights of Grrreat Romance," which contains 101 sealed seductions, kisses, passions, etc, half are for the Male and half for the Female, pick it up or order it online, you'll love it! She also has a new book which I plan to pick up for Valentine's Day called "You Still Give Me Butterflies!" Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 A great resource for me was the book by Michelle Weiner-Davis entitled "The Sex Starved Marriage." I can't say enough about the book and how well it helped to allow the way I looked at things to shift dramatically' date=' and then everything started to fall into place...[/quote'] Got that, started reading it and then lost it in the move... Well, I don't think it would make that much difference now... Link to post Share on other sites
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