swfc_77 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 dear me, why does my ex continue to pester me about ****e that doesnt matter. i usually get up for work at 5am, she rung at 2am twice and then tx me. all this on a new number which i wouldn't answer anyway that time of night. the tx read. this is my new number if you want it for owt. hope cats had his jabs and he's ok. x x 2AM!!!!!! i'v not tx herfor about 5 weeks now and feel great, young, free and single. she dumped me in sept after 18 months living with me. just walked in from work and the mobile goes again, just seen you in your van, hope your ok not knowing who it was as i deleted her number and tx the other night straight away, i tx back who is this. she tx me back explaining and some crap about the cat, my dads cat now btw. i wont tx back. i might tell her i'v sold him to a korean resturaunt, but dont want to break NC.
IfiKnewThen Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 yikes.........mrrrr-OW. that poor kitty!~! Seriously she dumped YOU. so i can really understand your frustration. it really kinda sounds like she wants back IN and doesn't know what to do and is going about it this way maybe? i don't know your story but sounds like a possibility <---dont hurt the bunny
Author swfc_77 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 she doesn't want back in, but after treating every1 like crap, she expects me just to let her have everything she wants still. i dont want to be friends because i simply do not like the girl or have the time for her, in the nicest possible way.i actually want her to get into another serious relationship so she leaves me alone for good or at least a good lenth of time. she thinks we can be buddies and she can come round an see cat, what about my next relationship it would be un-fair. can you imagine - "sorry we cant go out on this glorious day, the EX is coming round to see the cat"
Lauriebell82 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 she doesn't want back in, but after treating every1 like crap, she expects me just to let her have everything she wants still. i dont want to be friends because i simply do not like the girl or have the time for her, in the nicest possible way.i actually want her to get into another serious relationship so she leaves me alone for good or at least a good lenth of time. she thinks we can be buddies and she can come round an see cat, what about my next relationship it would be un-fair. can you imagine - "sorry we cant go out on this glorious day, the EX is coming round to see the cat" Did you tell her you don't want to be friends with her? I bet she feels guilty about breaking up with you so she thinks being "friends" will make up for that. I think you should just ignore her calls/texts until she gets the picture. It may take some time, but eventually she'll give up.
IfiKnewThen Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 hehe you do have a good sense of humor:laugh:
Author swfc_77 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 she is very persistant (spelling) im not interested how she feels its been nearly 5 months since i'v seen her, even a photo. just annoys me more than anything. what i cannot grasp is the fact she wants to stay in my life because of a cat, he goes out, does he business, bites me and sleeps on the fridge, she isn't missing much. 1 time i couldn't imagine my life without this girl, but now even though i think about her sometimes im enjoying my life the way it is and i dont want anything to do with her any shape, way or form. she is more clubbing, make up, txting, facebook im more chilling, beer, football ,workin and sleep we dont fit, get on or even like each other anymore. ifiknewthen, i only post here to vent my frustration out, im keeping my chin up and trying hard to keep a smile on my face. im quite happy for the first time that i am single and free to do as i please and it feels really good.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 she is very persistant (spelling) im not interested how she feels its been nearly 5 months since i'v seen her, even a photo. just annoys me more than anything. what i cannot grasp is the fact she wants to stay in my life because of a cat, he goes out, does he business, bites me and sleeps on the fridge, she isn't missing much. 1 time i couldn't imagine my life without this girl, but now even though i think about her sometimes im enjoying my life the way it is and i dont want anything to do with her any shape, way or form. she is more clubbing, make up, txting, facebook im more chilling, beer, football ,workin and sleep we dont fit, get on or even like each other anymore. ifiknewthen, i only post here to vent my frustration out, im keeping my chin up and trying hard to keep a smile on my face. im quite happy for the first time that i am single and free to do as i please and it feels really good. Well, what about giving her the cat? Is it a cat that the two of you bought together?
Author swfc_77 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 giving her the cat is not an option, she bought him and never paid a penny towards food, jabs, cat litter and having his nuts chopped off. my dad paid for the lot, so now he belongs to my dad, my old man loves him to bits, the cat is settled and "at home" i just wish she would understand that when she left, she left me, this house, the cat and my family. lets hope that in time she gets bored, stops bothering me and moves on to the next guy. good night everyone, cheers for comments
Bluebelle38 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Why don't you just say don't contact me anymore? If she persists don't reply back ever. I almost feel sorry for her, but I feel sorry for you too. This isn't about the cat, but I'm sure you know that.
IfiKnewThen Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 hey bluebell38 i have been trying to PM because i wanted to apologize to you didnt want you to have to remove your post was good advise you did give ( swfc-77 i received worse rude calls in the middle of the night...at 3:am! was very frustrating. felt very selfish at the time too. its the feeling of........oh you can contact me whenever you feel like it..otherwise you call all the shots. he was not available to me ..he was rude...made excuses of being busy..but contacted me when he felt like it. i was feeling vulnerable at the time and missing him...and feeling so guilty, blaming myself ...that i put up with it. then it got old. so i know what you mean. but maybe she is regretful (and misses the cat. there ARE big cat lovers in the world..she might be one of them)...but she probably misses you too ...maybe? are you open to talking to her at all. past cat conversations? you do sound real angry, even tho you have a sense of humor. i don't know the nature of the whole relationship or break up.
Bluebelle38 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 IfIKnewThen - no apology necessary at all. As long as it helped it's all that matters and I think it did Sorry for hijack!!!!
Duckduckgoose Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 She needs to get her own damn cat and leave yours alone. I like how you call shots jabs... or is jabs something else?
IfiKnewThen Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 IfIKnewThen - no apology necessary at all. As long as it helped it's all that matters and I think it did YAY!!! : ) thanks for writing back! i think it ended up positive : )
Author swfc_77 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 im not really after advice to be honest, i know what to do. i just like to get it down on here whats happening with her so people can/read how even after a relationship things still drag out. i have told her many times to leave me alone, but will tell me she's over it and wants to be friends and i think she cant understand that im over it but dont see the point of being friends when all we have do end up argueing. plus i dont want her in the house or to see her again due to the lack of respect she showed my family, me during our break up. i dont write much here now, only usually when she txtx, just because i dont really talk to anyone about her anymore. its like she is rushing me into being friends, when i do not wants to be friends, ever. because we do not get along and i dont see the point. if people read my older threads you'll see what a mess i was in oct,nov and dec, but now im doing really good. no pining, i dont miss her or long for her. it just shows you that time and NC really does help alot. im past the grief, anger, and dispear, its like i cannot shake her off, like i said i really want her to get another BF so she forgets me & cat and can start the next chapter in her life and i can too ifiknewthen, im not angry, more annoyed. i know my post come across a bit aggressive but its not intented. sorry for that, well im off to work in the wind and rain, i hope (again) she has got the message, i hope i'v shook the dumper off for good
IfiKnewThen Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 i hope to take a look at your old posts. its always a good idea to see where ones been and that youre at this better place now..and have detached...so you can move forward. thats all it sounds like to me..is that you want to move forward and being friends was not an option to you. i didnt mean to say you were this angry person lol. i think youre doing great actually. what might be a real good idea for you (as it is for me and many others on here ) is to write the N/C letter to her, through this board. to go to the post where it says... "POST HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING YOUR EX". its under the category "COPING"...and its a great place to "virtually" vent to her and get it all out whenever you want ...without the advise so to speak. i saythis since you said at this juncture youre really not looking for advise..but to vent. maybe that would be good
0hpenelope Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I remember your threads. I looked up one in particular and found it. i hoped that a mature relationship would be about talking about and overcoming any problems you faced, seems these days people just bail out without a seconds thought. married or not. Ain't that the truth? It really is much easier to quit than to keep trying or fixing. It's easier to get caught up in the "This will never work" kind of mentality. Few dumpers really think through their decisions before taking action, but we really don't have control over them wanting to leave. I'm so happy to see how far you've come in your healing, swfc. Five months from now, I will be where you are in your healing. Your ex is the one who wanted to leave, she should just stay gone.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Well I hope you keep posting.. Its nice to see those words ( I just want her to go away).. I truly can't wait for that.. I have been broken up for 2 months. We have to see eachother for our son. I have recently agreed to be friendly with him or "civil".. I was pretty angry for a while and went nc for a few weeks.. I am starting to feel better but some things still bother me. So to see your doing so well puts a HUGE smile on my face. I find myself fantasizing (no longer about him) but about being over him and where you are.. So thats a step in the right direction I think.. Isn't it so odd that when your over them they start bothering you. I hear about this so often its annoying. You have finally cut your heart strings and they come back to try to hook you. I don't understand it. We have finally gotten over them. You think because they left us they would already be over it and not come back?
0hpenelope Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Well I hope you keep posting.. Its nice to see those words ( I just want her to go away).. I truly can't wait for that.. I have been broken up for 2 months. We have to see eachother for our son. I have recently agreed to be friendly with him or "civil".. I was pretty angry for a while and went nc for a few weeks.. I am starting to feel better but some things still bother me. So to see your doing so well puts a HUGE smile on my face. I find myself fantasizing (no longer about him) but about being over him and where you are.. So thats a step in the right direction I think.. Isn't it so odd that when your over them they start bothering you. I hear about this so often its annoying. You have finally cut your heart strings and they come back to try to hook you. I don't understand it. We have finally gotten over them. You think because they left us they would already be over it and not come back? I hope mine doesn't do that to me. My break-up feels final and I'm operating on the mindset that it is.
Author swfc_77 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 life feels pretty good at the moment, its nice not to worry about anyone else im only 23 so i now think im too young. jdw - 2 months is not very long and with kiddies involved its hard for me to comment, but after time your mind starts getting bored of thinking about it, with all respect im glad i never had any kids with her. she is a very loose cannon. i suppose im trying to figure out why she still bothers me, not to act on it but i like to know what peoples intentions are. i think she just wants a lift, a boost so to say. i'v spoke to her before about the cat and the conversation soon turns to me and her, like she use's the cat as an excuse to see what im doing. she also acts like its a competition to see whose doing better, she told me in the past about how much money she has saved and how she's nearly got enough for a house, quite sad really. because she is full of sh..ite and knows nothing of the property market and what she does know she picked up off me. she might also be trying to rush the friends things because she misses what we had before, but i dont give "that" to friends if people know what i mean, its like she wants all the benifits of me and the relationship without actually being in it. i still think about her from time to time, but it doesn't hurt anymore. i'll just say this about NC and why its important to use it if you can, at xmas i celebrated with my family and friends, she was txting and calling my family an me, i gave in after a few days pressure and we spoke. she talked of the cat for what, 2 minutes and then spoke about how she missed me and basically trying to hook me, she did hook me after about a week, then dropped me as soon as she heard what she wanted. that was a thursday, i didn't sleep all night and was laid in bed with my head spinning, quite cut up really. after that i vowed never to let her do anything like that again.
stopthemadness Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 So am reading these posts and thinking, if you just tell her not to contact you anymore. Thats all it would take! she would get the message. My ex and i tried to stay friends but it wasnt working because of me. I still cared and was hoping we could stay smthing friends whatever anything. Well he was dating around (alot) and would tell me about it. It hurt me but I would listen just to be talking to him. Will after about 5 women later he found smone he really likes! Told me that and that we should stop talking so he can see where it goes with her. It hurt me but it was just the little nudge i needed. I havent contacted him ever sence. Its been 16 days of n/c from either of us. I have a date 2nite (smile). so just tell her. Youll both be glad you did.
IfiKnewThen Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 i really hear where you are coming from and i am on your side. no one likes to be toyed with and it sounds like that's where she might be coming from BUT... it could be that she broke up with you because she wanted a reaction, and then she regretted it. maybe didn't get the reaction...running back to her....that she had hoped for. you said during christmas you gave her what she wanted. i am assuming you told her you loved her or something? to her afterward it may have sounded like that you retracted or might not have sounded "TO HER" like you were affectionate. you could doubt where you're coming from now and not want you to have the upper hand. no one wants game playing in a relationship....but because our emotions are fragile and hearts all on the line....people sometimes....go forward ...then step back when they feel insure again. i could be very wrong but i feel she regrets breaking off with you. but if she senses she is losing ground....she recoils again. this is NOT assuming blaming on you. no way no how. this is just saying she might be a very insecure person...in general when people are young, or even older...they do a lot of things based on insecurity. they dont communicate or dont like the response when they do...play games and end up like this. just guessing. but who knows.
IfiKnewThen Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 typo: you could doubt where you're coming from now and not want you to have the upper hand. correction: SHE could doubt where you're coming from now and not want you to have the upper hand.
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