Thx55 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Hello, I have posted in the separation and divorce category a few times over the past couple months. my wife and i are still living together. It has been over 2 months now that she decided to end our marriage. however things have progressively been improving. She has been more affectionate recently, she speaks of future plans with us together maybe simple things such as we should paint our bedroom or random stuff around the house. Not mentioning the words "well after you move". We are also legal guardians of our nephew and we've talked about adoption. I have been focusing on myself, becoming a more positive person. reading writing etc. I looked at this situation as an opportunity to better myself for myself even if my marriage would fail I would still be a better person in the end. Obviously our marriage has issues, communication, intimacy, we have a 2 year old daughter as well. we haven't made time for each other in a long time. Anyway. I think we are trying? I have let my wife initiate conversations about our relationship I have let her initiate affection. I have been writing her random notes and leaving them in places. shared with her some of my writings. talked to her about things etc. I just don't know when I should reach out and grab her. Or if i'm too afraid to do so right now? I'm cautious and i don't like feeling this way? I know it is probably for the best but i can't help but wonder if I should be doing something different? The last thing I want to do is to start thinking about what she is thinking. Been there done that. It's not going to get me anywhere. My question is, am i doing the right things? Is there any advice on what some of you have done to build up your marriages after sinking? thanks
Urgie Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I rarely use this line, but in this case I have to think it applies. Follow your heart!! If she walks past you and the thought of her saying anything to you repulses you. Or you want to pull your facial hair out when she is nagging about something ... continue the separation. Make it very clear the relationship is over. BUT If you really have lingering feelings for her, and have a true feeling things can be worked out .. TELL HER!! "honey, we have been through a lot. We have been through some really bad times, and some really REALLY good times. If i had to do it all over again, i would. In fact, if you think there is any chance of working things out, lets sit down and talk about how we can make it happen." You may make a fool of yourself. But you may also make her very happy, make your daughter happy, and also yourself. Post back and let us know!
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