january2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Does the dating stage you're in, influence your wardrobe choices whether consciously or sub-consciously? Do you wear sexier/tighter-fitting clothing during the pre-dating and early stages and then gradually dress down and more comfortably as you get to know the person and you're considered 'in a relationship'? For example, LS women - do you wear tops that are lower cut, more dresses and skirts, heels rather than flats, etc.? How heavily do you invest in other areas, such as a new hairstyle/colour, manicure/pedicure, gym/exercise, new underwear, new bedlinen, etc.? For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices?
oaks Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices? Yes. I had to go shopping! I realised that I had smart business clothes, casual clothes for drinking with friends, outdoor clothes for hiking in the hills, scruffy clothes for wearing around the house, and nothing that I thought might impress a woman on a date. (the smart business clothes are fine for an immediately-after-work date, of course, but too much for a sunday afternoon at the movies).
zengirl Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I wear the clothes I like, the same clothes I always wear. I buy new clothes when I want to. I put on some slight make-up/do my hair for a date, pretty much always (different levels, depending on the date---theatre is not the same as bike ride in the park, etc), no matter how long I've been seeing the guy. I always try to look pretty, whether I'm single or in a relationship, because I look pretty for me. I paint my nails regularly, but not really a mani/pedi gal. The only new thing I'd buy for a relationship is lingerie, maybe, because I don't think about that when single, and I don't really like recycling it between relationships. Also, for the first month or so, I try not to repeat outfits with the guy, so I do keep track of what I wore. But I have enough clothes to where that's never difficult.
EasyHeart Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 From the male perspective: Take the amount of time/effort/care you put into choosing your wardrobe and then divide it by 10,000. That's how much men care about what you wear. If the guy is really observant and fashion-conscious, divide by 5000.
Els Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 From the male perspective: Take the amount of time/effort/care you put into choosing your wardrobe and then divide it by 10,000. That's how much men care about what you wear. If the guy is really observant and fashion-conscious, divide by 5000. You would be very, very surprised. Men typically care less than women about fashion, but men also typically are easily conned by it. You'd be surprised, for instance, how many men don't know that a large proportion of girls out there with long, silky hair didn't just have it sprout from their heads with appropriate hygiene and brushing. To answer the OP, yes, I do put a little extra effort at the beginning (just like how men typically put a little extra effort in other ways, too). My 'little extra' probably pales in comparison to the stuff other women do though.
EasyHeart Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 You would be very, very surprised. Men typically care less than women about fashion, but men also typically are easily conned by it. You'd be surprised, for instance, how many men don't know that a large proportion of girls out there with long, silky hair didn't just have it sprout from their heads with appropriate hygiene and brushing.No, I wouldn't. Read my post again; you're making my point for me.
Emilia Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Does the dating stage you're in, influence your wardrobe choices whether consciously or sub-consciously? Do you wear sexier/tighter-fitting clothing during the pre-dating and early stages and then gradually dress down and more comfortably as you get to know the person and you're considered 'in a relationship'? For example, LS women - do you wear tops that are lower cut, more dresses and skirts, heels rather than flats, etc.?I will wear a skirt with heels more often but not something I wouldn't wear anyway, ie I don't sex it up - but I don't let it go later either. I'm likely to buy a couple of new things but I try to dress well most of the time - what I mean is I like casual but even if it's just jeans and a top they will fit me well and will look flattering on my body. I ALWAYS wear matching underwear and ALWAYS something I wouldn't be embarrassed about if I got run over by a bus How heavily do you invest in other areas, such as a new hairstyle/colour, manicure/pedicure, gym/exercise, new underwear, new bedlinen, etc.?Same as usual: facial once a month, gym 2-3 times a week, new underwear on a regular basis, etc. the only difference is new bedlinen - I change it weekly rather than fortnightly. For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices?When I was younger and was with someone for 9 years. Now I know what works for me so I try to keep up continuously.
Els Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 No, I wouldn't. Read my post again; you're making my point for me. *shrugs* Good for you in that case. IME, guys like you have been the minority. The majority of guys claim to not care.. but only because they somehow believe that beauty falls from the sky.
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Does the dating stage you're in, influence your wardrobe choices whether consciously or sub-consciously? Do you wear sexier/tighter-fitting clothing during the pre-dating and early stages and then gradually dress down and more comfortably as you get to know the person and you're considered 'in a relationship'? For example, LS women - do you wear tops that are lower cut, more dresses and skirts, heels rather than flats, etc.?I usually tend to dress more sexier while in relationship. I like having someone to dress up for. I don't like the idea of getting "comfortable" in a relationship so I tend not to dress down, doesn't matter how long me and a person has been together. How heavily do you invest in other areas, such as a new hairstyle/colour, manicure/pedicure, gym/exercise, new underwear, new bedlinen, etc.?I spend too much time on my hair but I do that for me - not anyone else. I always have a new hair do. My budget doesn't allow mani/pedi at a salon but I do keep myself groomed at home. I get to the gym about 5 times a week. I buy new underwear every chance I can get- everytime I date a new guy I buy a new pair of underwear and a shirt , lol I don't know why I do that though. For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices?No, my clothing choice is "ME" in or out of a relationship. Bolded Text!
OceanGirl Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I don't really change much. Even when single, I find it very depressing to look in the mirror and not look my best. That means regular waxing/eye brow shaping/mani/pedis/foils/teeth whitening/wearking skirts,dresses and heels. I own heaps of lingerie that I like to wear for myself even when not having sex. The only change I may make is that I get Brazilian when dating someone. Obviously, when sleeping over the guy is going to see me with no make up and messy hair in the morning. I also try not to repeat outfits in the early stages.
Cee Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I have always been sort of "granola" in my styling. Long hair, no makeup, intermittent shaving. I shave now, but I don't bother when celibate or in the winter. My biggest grooming job is tweezing my eyebrows. I hate it, but I like the look. I have a 1st date uniform, which I pretty much wear on every first date. Totally unromantic, I know, but I don't have much money. I haven't required much depth in my wardrobe because usually I don't get past the 3rd or 4th date. I guess I'm not much of a girlie girl, but I haven't had boyfriends complain about it. In fact, I've gotten compliments for being pretty without makeup on. And I guess those are the kind of guys I attract- the ones who aren't into "hot" women
tigressA Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Does the dating stage you're in, influence your wardrobe choices whether consciously or sub-consciously? It does, but not that much. I almost always wear clothing that's very fitted, but I reveal only one thing at a time--cleavage or legs. Once in a blue moon I'll wear something a little trashy to give the guy a thrill. Though I don't have to, I have repeated outfits numerous times, including on early dates. I do keep my underwear matching while I'm in a relationship, but otherwise I buy/replace things when I want to. I don't even shower every day but do wash my face and brush my teeth. I shave no more than once a week when I'm in a relationship, and I go for a month or more at a time without doing it while single. I hardly ever wear makeup, so 'extra' beauty rituals aren't my thing. I don't exercise. I should for overall health/fitness but I don't need it to maintain my figure. Edited February 3, 2011 by tigressA
Star Gazer Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Hmm. I really don't change. Well, what I wear at home after work when just hanging out changes. When dating, but spending time at home with the guy after work/making dinner together, etc., I'll be a little more well-dressed during the dating stage. When in a relationship, I'll likely be in yoga pants, a tank, and a ponytail. But as for the specifics... Do you wear sexier/tighter-fitting clothing during the pre-dating and early stages and then gradually dress down and more comfortably as you get to know the person and you're considered 'in a relationship'? For example, LS women - do you wear tops that are lower cut, more dresses and skirts, heels rather than flats, etc.? Other than the "hanging out" example above, not really. My wardrobe choices are pretty consistent, relationship or not. In fact, my outfits for spending time with girlfriends are pretty similar to what I wear on dates! How heavily do you invest in other areas, such as a new hairstyle/colour, manicure/pedicure, gym/exercise, new underwear, new bedlinen, etc.? Same in a relationship as when single. It's all maintenance, as far as I'm concerned. I guess I do it for myself, not the guy. For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices? Never.
eerie_reverie Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Does the dating stage you're in, influence your wardrobe choices whether consciously or sub-consciously? Do you wear sexier/tighter-fitting clothing during the pre-dating and early stages and then gradually dress down and more comfortably as you get to know the person and you're considered 'in a relationship'? For example, LS women - do you wear tops that are lower cut, more dresses and skirts, heels rather than flats, etc.? How heavily do you invest in other areas, such as a new hairstyle/colour, manicure/pedicure, gym/exercise, new underwear, new bedlinen, etc.? For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices? I do "maintence" (working out, basic hygeine) for me, and shopping based on my own preferences, but in terms of getting dressed specifically for dates, I try to gauge what the guy would like as well as what's appropriate for the occasion. My previous bf liked me dolled up - cute clothes, straightened hair, makeup - but he was always well-dressed himself, so I'd go out of my way to be well-groomed. Currently, I am dating a guy who lives in ratty sweatshirts and thinks i'm gorgeous in a garbage bag, so beyond making sure I've showered, I don't do much. If he's not gonna make any effort, why should I bother??
Author january2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 Thanks for your input so far, everyone. Interesting that it's mostly female LSers answering. Does that mean that, other than oaks, no other male LSers make any changes/special effort while they're dating? Not even a tried and tested 'date outfit'?
USMCHokie Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Thanks for your input so far, everyone. Interesting that it's mostly female LSers answering. Does that mean that, other than oaks, no other male LSers make any changes/special effort while they're dating? Not even a tried and tested 'date outfit'? No special effort. I always maintain a high level of hygiene, grooming, and GTL. What I wear day to day is what I'd wear on a date.
Puffys52 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Does the dating stage you're in, influence your wardrobe choices whether consciously or sub-consciously? Do you wear sexier/tighter-fitting clothing during the pre-dating and early stages and then gradually dress down and more comfortably as you get to know the person and you're considered 'in a relationship'? For example, LS women - do you wear tops that are lower cut, more dresses and skirts, heels rather than flats, etc.? How heavily do you invest in other areas, such as a new hairstyle/colour, manicure/pedicure, gym/exercise, new underwear, new bedlinen, etc.? For those new to dating after coming out of a relationship, have you found it necessary to re-think your image and clothing choices? Sometimes. Not much for a girl but for a guy i dress if its someone i really like.When its first dates, i tend to dress a bit more classy than before because its a first date. I would want to make an impression. As more dates occur, i dress in my standard state. I wear lower cut tops sometimes. But usually i am more of "that looks good i'll buy it". Skirts i use to wear when i was younger, but they are a big turn off. Whenever i date women, i have to persuade them to wear less skirts. For Some Reason i think Skirts are a big turn off.Hair is all me. One time, a gf tried to control how i styled my hair and for the most part it worked as i got it cut, but didn't look good on me at all. Manicures & Gym are for rare occasion. Underwear i would buy from time to time.Once when i was in a controlling relationship with another woman who chnaged the way i dress and changed my hair until a point i was too scared to do anything without her. I got out eventually and now i have full choice over what i wear. I even influence and pick out some of my partner's clothes.
GivenUp0083 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Jeans jeans jeans....for me it's all about the jeans. I wear designer, premium denim only. Not the crazy looking brands, but ones that are quality, good color, and they fit perfectly. I get compliments on my jeans from women all the time and that's all I wear on dates and women should too. They're not considered "slutty" clothes but if they fit right they can make you look amazing hot. I wish my gf wore better jeans, she has a couple pairs that make her look good but I'm thinking of ways to transition her to some designer jeans....it's still too early in the relationship for me to make that move though.
make me believe Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I definitely don't change the way I dress and groom myself in different stages of a relationship. I think it's horrible when girls or guys go out of their way to look good & impress their partner at the beginning stages, and then once they feel comfortable they let themselves go. I would feel almost betrayed if someone did that to me! I love heels, fitted clothes, dresses & skirts, and cute underwear whether I'm single, in a new relationship, or in a LTR. I also exercise fairly consistently & eat pretty healthfully whether I'm in a relationship or not. (Why would you only want to be healthy when you're trying to impress someone?!)
alexlakeman Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 More mature guys, such as me, do NOTICE on the first date AND months later into the relationship: clothes - sexy, tight jeans or mini skirt, sexy showing cleavage shoes - preference for heels (depending on the environment of course, not camping for example). Nails - If I glance at a woman on a first date and she has sexy long (reasonable) nails, french mani.. OMG>.... .. if she has short as sh)t nails; oh well... sh)it happens..
Els Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 More mature guys, such as me, do NOTICE on the first date AND months later into the relationship: clothes - sexy, tight jeans or mini skirt, sexy showing cleavage shoes - preference for heels (depending on the environment of course, not camping for example). Nails - If I glance at a woman on a first date and she has sexy long (reasonable) nails, french mani.. OMG>.... .. if she has short as sh)t nails; oh well... sh)it happens.. On the contrary, I'm pretty sure truly mature guys do not respond in such a manner to this question. In the first place, the OP's question was 'do YOU dress to impress'? Immediately thinking about a laundry list of what you wish your partner to wear, instead of reflecting on your own, is certainly no sign of maturity.
paddington bear Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 It's weird but I have often been chatted up by guys when I look like crap. Makeup has slid off the face, in some manky old jeans and a t-shirt. One night I went out to a big event, wore an amazing dress, put my hair up, took ages over my makeup. A male friend said "oh my god! I wish I had my camera you look absolutely amazing" - this compliment echoed by other people on the night. Did one guy approach me, look at me, talk to me? Nope. Not a one. Don't get it. Looking good is perhaps pointless. Or perhaps too off-putting. There have been a few occasions where I've been out with guys, and they do that forgetting I'm a girl thing and start commenting on how hot other girls are. So I say "well then, go and talk to them" "oh no, we couldn't, they wouldn't even look at us". Perhaps looking too groomed/attractive is intimidating for many men? I do make more of an effort when dating, but I'm trying to make that same effort when not dating and cull anything from my wardrobe that I don't look good in, so that I look good all the time whether single, dating or heartbroken (scrap that last one, I look like hell when heartbroken).
PerpetualMotion Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 No special effort. I always maintain a high level of hygiene, grooming, and GTL. What I wear day to day is what I'd wear on a date. This. I may try a different aftershave or cologne for a date, but that's it.
EasyHeart Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 It's weird but I have often been chatted up by guys when I look like crap. Makeup has slid off the face, in some manky old jeans and a t-shirt. One night I went out to a big event, wore an amazing dress, put my hair up, took ages over my makeup. A male friend said "oh my god! I wish I had my camera you look absolutely amazing" - this compliment echoed by other people on the night. Did one guy approach me, look at me, talk to me? Nope. Not a one. Don't get it. This doesn't surprise me at all. Usually, when women dress "up", they are dressing to impress other women, not men. Ask most men and they'll tell you that the most attractive thing a woman can wear is jeans and a t-shirt. And wear your hair DOWN, dangit!!!
Disillusioned Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 If you're a man, know that women have a gene which causes them to choose formality over convenience every time. She will not think you look ridiculous if you show up for your date dressed in an Edwardian suit with a top hat and a monocle thrown in for good measure (even if she happens to be dressed like a 60s hippie)---she will think you look cute and therefore attractive. Sad but true, guys.
Recommended Posts