niceheart Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Hi, I am seeking for help from you all. Me and my gf are in relation from past 4 years. We had a livin relation for 2 years and because of my jealousy things started getting wrong. One day I found that she is attracted to one of her friend and we had fight. She left me straight away and started staying apart. I was guilty and wanted her back in my life again. I thought I should not be so jealous and trusted that she is only friend with that boy. She was just ignoring me and going with that boy. My mind was telling me that it is much more than the friendship but, because of my guilt I trusted her. I always wanted to show that I am not jelous I trust her and want her back as I loved her and only her ever in my life. One day finally I got her back but ... Because of my doubt I tried to dig her past and found out that, she had physical relation with that boy. Even an affair with one more person. She is with me now but these things keep on bugging me. She never even told me that she loves that boy and slept with him before she came back and kept me on telling that I am still doubtful. Even I slept with other girls but never loved them. I had told her everything before she came back and when I told so, she just gave me an idea about her relation about that boy. My feeling of guilt was went away. I don't even recall the faces of those girls I slept with them whenever she hurt me in front of my face and I found out that she is cheating on me. Now she is back in my life but still, I cant forget the things that she did with me cheating on me and sleeping with some one else when I was in pain. I think I hate her... Even I keep on finding new things and she says she did it once but she had a regular physical relation with that guy... I am confused I have her but I think I don't love her and dump her. Right now she is guilty about that a things. I think she loves me too much but, Even she loved others too She says she needed emotional support and he provided her so, she went with him but, what about me??? I never loved some one else although she hurt me in front of my eyes and even cheated on me ... I don't know what to do... Please help Edited February 3, 2011 by niceheart
gator12 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Hi, I am seeking for help from you all. Me and my gf are in relation from past 4 years. We had a livin relation for 2 years and because of my jealousy things started getting wrong. One day I found that she is attracted to one of her friend and we had fight. She left me straight away and started staying apart. I was guilty and wanted her back in my life again. I thought I should not be so jealous and trusted that she is only friend with that boy. She was just ignoring me and going with that boy. My mind was telling me that it is much more than the friendship but, because of my guilt I trusted her. I always wanted to show that I am not jelous I trust her and want her back as I loved her and only her ever in my life. One day finally I got her back but ... Because of my doubt I tried to dig her past and found out that, she had physical relation with that boy. Even an affair with one more person. She is with me now but these things keep on bugging me. She never even told me that she loves that boy and slept with him before she came back and kept me on telling that I am still doubtful. Even I slept with other girls but never loved them. I had told her everything before she came back and when I told so, she just gave me an idea about her relation about that boy. My feeling of guilt was went away. I don't even recall the faces of those girls I slept with them whenever she hurt me in front of my face and I found out that she is cheating on me. Now she is back in my life but still, I cant forget the things that she did with me cheating on me and sleeping with some one else when I was in pain. I think I hate her... Even I keep on finding new things and she says she did it once but she had a regular physical relation with that guy... I am confused I have her but I think I don't love her and dump her. Right now she is guilty about that a things. I think she loves me too much but, Even she loved others too She says she needed emotional support and he provided her so, she went with him but, what about me??? I never loved some one else although she hurt me in front of my eyes and even cheated on me ... I don't know what to do... Please help I've been cheated on as well so I do understand your pain. The fact is most women cheat because they feel unappreciated in the relationship. (THAT IS NOT an excuse, but in a sense I can understand it from a certain point of view) Being cheated on sucks, it is literally the worst feeling in the world. I don't know why your ex cheated but it sounds a lot like why mine did, though mine only kissed a guy once but for albeit the same reasons. At that point girls are usually emotionally checked out of the relationship their in so they don't feel guilty. The lies she told you, let me put it to you this way. When women break up with you they do anything they can to avoid hurting you, ironic isnt it. So don't argue about this, talk about them yes but don't rub their nose in the dirt. My advice depends on what you want to do. Fact is this cheating is going to eat at you, and if you cant see yourself ever getting over it, and aren't willing to work past it, your relationship will fail. No way around it, if you cant see yourself trusting her again. Then break it off, you will only cause more hurt to both of you if you cant do these things. Now I'm not saying ride her and beat her to the groudn with guilt, but talk to her, just talk. Communication is the MOST important thing in a relationship. Let her know how you feel, let you know how cheating made you feel, talk it through. It'll take more than just a conversation to make things work. But if you guys don't have trust you don't have anything, after being cheated on you're going to have lost trust, whether you can or cannot get it back is up to you. It's no fault of yours. Good luck if you choose to work on it, but if you don't that is no problem. -Gator
iheartboobs Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 The basics of this story seem to boil down to: -You were suspicious about her feelings towards one of her "friends" -When you told her this, she freaked out and dumped you for being "jealous" -She manipulated you into feeling guilty about being jealous, while, at the same time, having a sexual relationship with her "friend" -Afterwords, you got back together, and she was still not honest about her relationship with her "friend" -You've since found out that she's had multiple affairs that she has also not been honest about So she's left you, constantly lied to you, cheated on you multiple times, and manipulated you into thinking it was all your fault, but you think (for whatever reason) that she loves you so you don't know what to do? That about sum it up? Man, if you honestly don't know what to do here... then I agree with your title because I think it can't get better, either.
hopesndreams Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Even I slept with other girls but never loved them. I don't even recall the faces of those girls I slept with them This post was hard to read! What I got out of it was you were both cheating on each other but because she had feelings for who she slept with and you didn't, you're going to dump her.
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