donovant91 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Ex broke up with me for another guy about two months ago, i flew out to see her mainly because she wanted to spend xmas with me and she basically just broke up with me and sent me home after me being there for a few days because she'd rather be with this different guy. I was heartbroken, because we were together for 5 years and i really loved and cared about her. Started low contact after she ignored me for a week because she was too busy sleeping with this other guy and apparently found true love and happiness, telling me all about her yeast infection and how much happier she is now that were not together. I couldn't handle it so I eventually started NC and told her NC at the beginning of january. Around the middle of January my friend told me that my ex has been wanting to talk to me for awhile now but he hasn't told me until now. I said fine because I thought she was going to be mature and apologize for how she handled things. I already said my apologies and identified what I did wrong and examined our relationship completely before I went NC with my ex, and was feeling better. Our conversation was over MSN and she had as her MSN name how amazing her new boyfriend was. I lost a bit of patience not only to that but also because she apparently just wanted to know "how I was doing" after her telling me all about how great her new boyfriend is and how happy she was, and justifying our breakup because apparently I was so horrible to her. I basically concluded our conversation with saying if she were as happy with her new boyfriend as she says, then she wouldn't be talking to her ex. This morning I check my emails to find a massive email from her. She did apologize for how she broke up with me and other unethical things she put me through during the break up, but it was followed by saying that I wasn't paying enough attention to her and it wasn't her fault she fell for this new guy, it was mine. And that even though she cheated on me before in the past shes not that kind of person anymore. and "What Albert and I have isnt rebound **** or anything of the sort... we just connect on such a strong level I dont even know how to describe it...but anyways I guess thats that I dont even know if that helps or not but there you go.." She also was saying she still wants to be friends. I replied by saying I couldn't be friends with someone who was so disrespectful towards me and someone who completely betrayed my trust. I thanked her for the apology, stayed completely polite and sympathetic as I have been this whole time and just basically said I told you you would never hear from me again if you broke up with me, now you have to live with that. She then replied "Im not trying to defend anything or "win" but anyways I see that having any sort of conversation with you like adults isnt going to work out. Im happy for you things are looking up and Im sorry that you think im some cruel slutty bitch now but if thats what you choose to see then I cant help that." I dont understand why she still wants to talk to me. I didn't call her any of that but shes acting like I hate her and I think shes the scum of the earth. Any idea why she is doing this?
evil hank Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 the moral here is you have nothing to gain by talking to her, it seems she is trying to keep her hook in you. Idk if someone told me how great someone was after 15min and we spent 5 years together, i would block every channel. Think about it, after 5 years you would think they would take sometime to theirself, and if he is truely better why is she needing to talk to you. It seems she craves your attention and that feeling of destroying you. Back to NC and all will get better.
gator12 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Ex broke up with me for another guy about two months ago, i flew out to see her mainly because she wanted to spend xmas with me and she basically just broke up with me and sent me home after me being there for a few days because she'd rather be with this different guy. I was heartbroken, because we were together for 5 years and i really loved and cared about her. Started low contact after she ignored me for a week because she was too busy sleeping with this other guy and apparently found true love and happiness, telling me all about her yeast infection and how much happier she is now that were not together. I couldn't handle it so I eventually started NC and told her NC at the beginning of january. Around the middle of January my friend told me that my ex has been wanting to talk to me for awhile now but he hasn't told me until now. I said fine because I thought she was going to be mature and apologize for how she handled things. I already said my apologies and identified what I did wrong and examined our relationship completely before I went NC with my ex, and was feeling better. Our conversation was over MSN and she had as her MSN name how amazing her new boyfriend was. I lost a bit of patience not only to that but also because she apparently just wanted to know "how I was doing" after her telling me all about how great her new boyfriend is and how happy she was, and justifying our breakup because apparently I was so horrible to her. I basically concluded our conversation with saying if she were as happy with her new boyfriend as she says, then she wouldn't be talking to her ex. This morning I check my emails to find a massive email from her. She did apologize for how she broke up with me and other unethical things she put me through during the break up, but it was followed by saying that I wasn't paying enough attention to her and it wasn't her fault she fell for this new guy, it was mine. And that even though she cheated on me before in the past shes not that kind of person anymore. and "What Albert and I have isnt rebound **** or anything of the sort... we just connect on such a strong level I dont even know how to describe it...but anyways I guess thats that I dont even know if that helps or not but there you go.." She also was saying she still wants to be friends. I replied by saying I couldn't be friends with someone who was so disrespectful towards me and someone who completely betrayed my trust. I thanked her for the apology, stayed completely polite and sympathetic as I have been this whole time and just basically said I told you you would never hear from me again if you broke up with me, now you have to live with that. She then replied "Im not trying to defend anything or "win" but anyways I see that having any sort of conversation with you like adults isnt going to work out. Im happy for you things are looking up and Im sorry that you think im some cruel slutty bitch now but if thats what you choose to see then I cant help that." I dont understand why she still wants to talk to me. I didn't call her any of that but shes acting like I hate her and I think shes the scum of the earth. Any idea why she is doing this? She's trying to get rid of her guilt essentially. Nobody wants to be thought of badly by a person they dumped I mean at one point they cared about you. My advice is, don't reply. If she sends a nother email dont even give her the joy of opening it, just send it straight to the trash folder. Fact is this will drive her crazy. Lol she may even come back to you who knows, who cares. You're moving on to a great life and she's gonna realize what she had and is going to regret what she did.
Author donovant91 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 She's trying to get rid of her guilt essentially. Nobody wants to be thought of badly by a person they dumped I mean at one point they cared about you. My advice is, don't reply. If she sends a nother email dont even give her the joy of opening it, just send it straight to the trash folder. Fact is this will drive her crazy. Lol she may even come back to you who knows, who cares. You're moving on to a great life and she's gonna realize what she had and is going to regret what she did. Thanks for the advice. She sent me another email because I guess she wanted to make sure to get the last word in or try to get me to respond. It was just a link to an emotional abuse website http://eqi.org/signs_of_authority_based_abuse.htm#Signs%20of%20Abusive,%20Authority%20Based%20Relationships I already went over the relationship a lot with her when she was rubbing her new one in my face, i identified what I did wrong and i apologized (basically just wasn't paying enough attention to her the last two months together). The only thing I did controlling was I didn't like her swearing so I asked her to stop. My apologies alone define that I wasn't emotionally abusive, and i valued her opinion. I guess I should just not reply and continue NC?
gator12 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Exactly don't give her the reply. If she truely believes you were abusive then good riddance to her. If the relationship is meant to be and she's just trying to provoke oyu then don't let her. You need to heal yourself. And if she comes crawling back, and they do come, all of the power will be in your hands. But until then you live your life and stay strong. Any time you feel weak just post on here.
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