Hopeful30 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I cheated on a man (2 months in barely) and I confessed. He didn't call me afterwards, and I didn't blame him. We ran into each other a week later, he begged for me back (asked me to choose between him and the man I cheated on him with) and I chose him. The problem is I am struggling now. I don't understand why not only he forgave me so easily, but why he wanted me BACK. I find myself being very insecure now because I have never cheated in my life, this was the first time. And I realized that if someone like ME, the faithful, honest, monogamous girlfriend could do something like that (and did) then ANYONE is capable of doing so. So I find myself being very insecure when his ex calls him, or when other girls flirt him up. I'm not the jealous type at all, but I am struggling to understand why he is so good to me after all of this. Surely its too good to be true? HE has more reason not to trust ME, esPEcially after what I did, yet he still treats me the same (like a princess). I can't help but feel that he forgave me so easily because he did (or is doing) the same.
deebeechrisyo Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 You should feel weary about how he begged you to come back. You should have been begging him. Deep down, you probably see him as a weak pushover (which he is). BTW I hope you feel terrible about this, and for a long time.
ivalm Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 The man loves you and is a pushover.. he deserves someone better than you, but mistakenly he chose you because of love. I think at this point, if you're a decent person, you should do everything to make HIM feel secure and loved rather than selfishly worrying about yourself.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 So I find myself being very insecure when his ex calls him, or when other girls flirt him up. I'm not the jealous type at all, but I am struggling to understand why he is so good to me after all of this. Surely its too good to be true? HE has more reason not to trust ME, esPEcially after what I did, yet he still treats me the same (like a princess). I can't help but feel that he forgave me so easily because he did (or is doing) the same. Just as liars believe all others to be untruthful... so do cheaters believe others to be cheats. There are people who are faithful. I don't why you identify yourself as being the best among us. Your not the faithful type plain and simple. To fix this... you must let go. Maybe he cheats on you... so what? You've already popped the cork on that bottle. If you continue to freak out about him cheating, you will make it happen.
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 If you continue to freak out about him cheating, you will make it happen. I have never freaked out, and I don't give him grief for anything. But this will always be in the back of my head.
Nexus One Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Perhaps he thinks: "Well maybe I could forgive her once, but I will not do that a second time." Some people do consider giving their significant other a second chance.
SteveC80 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 let me guess u work with this guy and he made u feel that spark that u feel in beginings of relationships that allot of women constanty chase:rolleyes:
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 let me guess u work with this guy and he made u feel that spark that u feel in beginings of relationships that allot of women constanty chase:rolleyes: Nope. We don't work together and I never felt a spark, still don't. I rejected him for about a month actually before I agreed to go on a date with him.
waynebrady Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 He obviously likes you alot more than you like him. But then thats pretty much how all relationships are, the man is much more invested and likes the woman alot more than vice versa. So I don't see anything unusual about it, he is not a weak pushover he just doesn't care about the fact that you don't really like him that much... He wants to be with you regardless. Thats really how most men should think, it's pointless expecting to get affection or love in return from a woman. It won't happen. Thats not how women are wired. But it doesn't have to be that bad anyway... Hey if I was with a woman I really really liked I would be happy enough that I just got to be with her, how much she likes me is irrelvant aslong as I am with her right. I think thats how that guy is thinking too.
daphne Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Thats really how most men should think, it's pointless expecting to get affection or love in return from a woman. It won't happen. Thats not how women are wired. If that's really how you think I think you need to get professional help.
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Hey if I was with a woman I really really liked I would be happy enough that I just got to be with her, how much she likes me is irrelvant aslong as I am with her right. I think thats how that guy is thinking too. So it would be okay with you if she went around cheating on you, spending your money, and making you invest time and effort into HER while she doesn't give a sh*t? I don't think thats right. Well he obviously told me that if it ever happens again then im outta there! Which is reasonable.
30Years Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Contrary to the common misconceptions in these forums, there's not a human on this earth who would not cheat under the right circumstances. It's in us all. You made a mistake and he recognizes it as such. Obviously, he also recognizes that what you have to offer exceeds what you have done wrong. I'll never understand why people worry so much over speculations. Maybe he is cheating on you, maybe he is not. What matters is how he treats you. Live by what you know and stop worrying about what might be happening. It's immaterial if it doesn't affect you.
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