Nukulus Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 So I've been on match for about ~3 weeks and I am generally having no issue getting women to respond to my emails... probably in the 6/8 range. However it tends to fizzle out after the second or third email. I don't know why, but I have a number of ideas. Firstly I find it difficult to have my true self show through an email. I enjoy witty banter, some sarcasm, and good intelligent conversations about practically anything. However, find myself being overly proper and perhaps boring in emails because I don't want to be misconstrued. Secondly, I'm only 24, about to graduate grad school (read no real job yet) and live about an hour or so away from the nearest major city where most of the women in my search results come up. I even had one girl that I had a good email string going where everything was fun and interesting where she asked how far away I was from her. I said about an hour. She said that's a bummer and stopped talking to me! Anyway I was wondering if any girls (or guys) have any suggestions to get over this proverbial "2nd/3rd email curse" that I seem to have. Also for the girls... is it "Ok" to im someone on the website you haven't spoken to yet? OR is that just weird? I'm looking for other avenues of conversation as I find email to be tedious and boring for the most part. Thanks!
Merkaba Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 In my experience the 2-3 emails then quit happens all the time. I think it's actually very common. If it makes you feel better it doesn't just happen to guys! There really seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. I believe it's ok to IM someone on the website that you haven't spoken to yet. That also seems to be very common. Just be engaging, polite, and courteous and it will be fine.
Confusedalways Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Hmm.. I'm 23 and in grad school, so I don't see how not having a real job would be a 'strike' against you. Anyone should understand that grad school in and of itself it challenging, with or without employment. Honestly, I can go either way with an IM. Sometimes I'm happy to chat if I have time, other times I'm not so into it-- that probably doesn't help. I'd say there's no harm in IMing. When I was on the online dating sites, I didn't get as many IMs as I did emails, so the IM'ers stood out a little more.
GivenUp0083 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I'd say being an hour away is the bigger strike against you than the no job thing. People around your age don't want to put a lot of effort into dating, they're typically busy with many other things living in a bigger city so they probably aren't particularly interested in traveling an hour to see someone. You also have to keep in mind that these women has options. They are always going to be getting emails from new guys on a weekly basis. So if you haven't stood out in some way beyond the other guys who live in her city, you may end up losing her interest. If you're losing contact after a few emails, try asking for their number after the first email you get back. Say something like "hey, I won't be able to access email for a while, can I give you a call sometime" or "hey I'm not very good at email/I'm better on the phone, can I get your number?"
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