mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 A friend told me his brother started going out with a girl he's known for a decade. Our female friend thinks that's the best and most lasting kind of relationship. Is that true? Do you agree? If I find a friend, befriend her for 10 years, then asks her to become my girlfriend, we'll definitely be able to hold a wedding subsequently? Why didn't anyone else think of this?!
deebeechrisyo Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Sounds great dude, I'm going to try this out and I'll report back in 10 years.
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Even better, anyone has already tried it in the past 10 years and has results to report back ALREADY?
watermelonjuice Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I guess it means that the foundation formed during a friendship will make a relationship last. I would like to go through such a route if possible too. But the modern times don't always leave time for having such a long friendship before dating.
january2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I found your thread title somewhat of a leap after reading your OP - was expecting a link to some scientific research rather than one datapoint. And since your friend's brother has only "just started going out" with his girlfriend, it's too early to say whether or not that relationship will be successful and "the best". Though I wish them every success. In the general spirit of the thread, I shall offer up my own datapoint: my longest LTR came from a two-year acquaintanceship - make of that what you will.
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 In the general spirit of the thread, I shall offer up my own datapoint: my longest LTR came from a two-year acquaintanceship - make of that what you will. How long was the LTR? Do you then believe friendship to relationship lays the right foundation?
Confusedalways Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I do not think relationships that stem from friendships are any better or worse than relationships that start up from acquaintances, online dating, etc. As with all relationships it depends on the age, maturity, and general personalities of all involved. The assertion that one type of relationship is better than another based on its formation is a load of crap.
somedude81 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 29 years old; I have never had a relationship that was a friendship first.
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 29 years old; I have never had a relationship that was a friendship first. How long was your longest LTR?
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 I do not think relationships that stem from friendships are any better or worse than relationships that start up from acquaintances, online dating, etc. As with all relationships it depends on the age, maturity, and general personalities of all involved. The assertion that one type of relationship is better than another based on its formation is a load of crap. The title was more of a joke and my post was a little fun and sarcastic.
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 But in the greater scheme of things, wouldn't it take a lot of "courage" to risk a friendship to get onto the other side (relationship)? Would it not mean that those two people finally saw the light that they were meant to be together that they finally got together? But my question is more why it took that long (a decade)?
january2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 How long was the LTR? Do you then believe friendship to relationship lays the right foundation? 10+ years. To a certain extent, yes. But I don't think it's always the case and there are many more factors that come into play. Timing, for one.
somedude81 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 How long was your longest LTR? LTR? LOL! I've had many friendships with women, and have had zero relationships. I've been rejected by plenty of girls who were my friends. But no LTR's for me. Friendship first doesn't work. I don't know what works. But do know what doesn't.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 My best relationships started as friendships.
Woggle Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Relationships like this end up as the kind where she sees you as more of a brother than a lover.
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 From the posts, it appears that female LSers believe relationships from friendships are a good start to a romance. Male LSers, however, think otherwise. Interesting.
Woggle Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 From the posts, it appears that female LSers believe relationships from friendships are a good start to a romance. Male LSers, however, think otherwise. Interesting. Because we know damn well that trying to have a friendship with a woman is an attraction killer.
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Because we know damn well that trying to have a friendship with a woman is an attraction killer. No, since the friend's brother and his girlfriend knew each other since they were rather young, their friendship probably progressed naturally.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Because we know damn well that trying to have a friendship with a woman is an attraction killer. Not to me. When a man is your friend, he is more likely to be honest with you and be himself than when he is your lover. I want to know people, for real. Not some polished version that they think will impress me. For me, the honesty and openness that real friendship encourage are highly attractive.
Woggle Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Not to me. When a man is your friend, he is more likely to be honest with you and be himself than when he is your lover. I want to know people, for real. Not some polished version that they think will impress me. For me, the honesty and openness that real friendship encourage are highly attractive. Yes but that still does not create sparks, passion and sexual attraction.
carhill Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 My best wishes to them but I haven't personally had that experience in my 51 on this rock and have had dozens of female friends over the decades and didn't get married for the first time until 41 to a woman who wasn't a friend (LOL) first. I could *possibly* envision two people, both in relationships, being 'friends' for years and, if both single at the same time, perhaps acting on an attraction which was always there but suppressed. My attraction style flows from intimacy so it is *possible* for me to grow such attraction out of friendship but, as mentioned, I've never met a woman like that. Either they get wet out of the gate or they don't, IME. That's about it. Give it a try and add your own datapoints. Good luck
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 After my conversation with my friend, I thought friendship to relationship is a good idea. But it seems that that may not always be true, eh?
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 After my conversation with my friend, I thought friendship to relationship is a good idea. But it seems that that may not always be true, eh? Was you original post meant to be taken in a literal sense? You really planned to wait ten years?
Author mr.jekyll Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Was you original post meant to be taken in a literal sense? You really planned to wait ten years? That was the real case that I cited. But my original post was about from friendship to relationship, irregardless of the length of time of the friendship.
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 That was the real case that I cited. But my original post was about from friendship to relationship, irregardless of the length of time of the friendship. Oh! , that makes much more sense.
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