knime32 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 So I've been off and on with my boyfriend for the last 7 years. Most of our problems revolve around communication or lack there of. I wanted to know if anyone had any suggestions for developing healthy communication in a relationship. I've taken the step to get professional help with my inability to communicate and have made significant strides and have gotten a lot better at opening up about my feelings. My boyfriend on the other hand is still struggling immensely with it. Instead of just saying he has a problem or isn't happy with something, he shuts down and runs away (causing us to be off and on). What are some helpful tools to start communication, to help a partner feel safe and comfortable to open up and share feelings, etc. and then healthy habits that can be used to continue communication? I'm afraid that if this doesnt get fixed soon, our otherwise happy and healthy relationship will be thrown into the trash for no reason. Its a shame to think about it, but this problem needs a solution now while we're young!
Author knime32 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 anyone have any communication tactics or tips, tricks or anything?
utterer of lies Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 anyone have any communication tactics or tips, tricks or anything? Just ignore when he sulks or runs away, and only react to what he manages to express in words. My father is a psychiatrist, so I generally have no problem communicating, but with some of my gf's, it took a while until they were able to communicate properly. And if he runs away, don't contact him until he comes back. You can't change him, but you can help him change himself if he wants to.
Author knime32 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Thanks for the advice. When he leaves I always try to have no contact with him what-so-ever. If he's going to run, I'm not going to chase. He has made honest attempts to communicate better but always seems to revert back to old habits. I just didnt know if there was something I could do to make him feel safer and more comfortable opening up.
A O Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I've taken the step to get professional help with my inability to communicate and have made significant strides and have gotten a lot better at opening up about my feelings. Fantastic...now try and get him to do the same - seek professional help. He is otherwise too ingrained in his ways, too familiar with how you guys have behaved in the past, for you (and most people here) to be able to change him. .
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