TouchedByViolet Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Women have recently rejected me a few times based specifically on my religious belief which is non-religious/agnostic. For some reason women soon after talking with me ask me what religion I am and when I answer with agnostic they look at me like I have demon horns growing from my skull. I don't force my views on anyone or even discuss my faith unless first asked. I keep everything very non-confrontational because I know religion can make people think/do funny things. Personally, I can get along with any religious moderate and have no qualms dating such women. Has anyone else been rejected based on their religious beliefs or maybe even done the rejecting? I've always been agnostic but only recently have women back to back stated it as a deal breaker... it's always something.
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Haha , I have been rejected for being agnostic as well. Sadly enough the guys who ask me - usually follow by asking "What is agnostic?" ...lol Yet some guys are like "Hmm, that means she isn't waiting until marriage" "Yes!!" ...lol
bayouboi Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I definitely think that if you're agnostic, you're more likely to get along with those who share your views. My perspective (and forgive me if I'm wrong or you disagree, I'm just trying to share a view that might be shared by these women) as a person of faith (albeit not much anymore), agnostics seem like they would be living a life without hope. Now you can get mad at this perception or call it ignorant or whatever, but I am only trying to give you some insight into what they may be feeling towards your views.
EasyHeart Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Women don't like wishy-washy guys. "Well, I suppose there could be a God, but I don't know. . ." Wah, wah, wah!!! Be a man. Say you're an atheist. Or a Baptist. Or a Satanist. Anything is better than a wimpy-*ss agnostic.
GirlnamedAngel Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Lol... I am one of those women. And I have a hard time being interested in anyone who doesn't believe in God or share in my faith at least somewhat... but it isn't for the reason you'd think. It's not a judgmental thing... It's more like a reverse judgment.... I talk about God in my day to day conversations... it just comes up... but recently I had lunch with my cousin who is an atheist and I found myself stopping myself from saying things in normal conversation because I didn't want to offend her anti beliefs or have her offend my positive belief in God. It's not a judgment thing. Really. It's just that if you're raised to believe in God most likely it's en-grained into your psyche and it would be hard to have a long term relationship with someone you can't really talk to about everything. Isn't that the point of loving someone? You can share anything with them???
Seamless74 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 dude if theyre rejecting you over that... trust me theyre doing you a favor..NEXT!!!!!!!!
NYCGirly Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 As someone who believes in God I would find it difficult to be with someone who doesn't since God is a big part of my life. It would be one thing if you're agnostic in the sense that you don't belong to any particular religious organization but still believe in God and/or are somewhat spiritual as opposed to being atheist and you don't believe in any being higher than yourself. I could be with someone who is part of the former group- the latter, no.
Author TouchedByViolet Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 weird, i'm atheist and had no problem. where you from? maybe it's cultural thing. I'm from south eastern Virginia. Religion is pretty big around here especially in the African American community. It's like ingrained in the culture. Yet some guys are like "Hmm, that means she isn't waiting until marriage" "Yes!!" ...lol haha Connecting the dots to I definitely think that if you're agnostic, you're more likely to get along with those who share your views. My perspective (and forgive me if I'm wrong or you disagree, I'm just trying to share a view that might be shared by these women) as a person of faith (albeit not much anymore), agnostics seem like they would be living a life without hope. Now you can get mad at this perception or call it ignorant or whatever, but I am only trying to give you some insight into what they may be feeling towards your views. I do get along better with skeptics or at least those who are open minded. However, my dad is muslim and i get along really well with him, don't see why it has to be such a big issue. Clearly the world has decided otherwise. Women don't like wishy-washy guys. "Well, I suppose there could be a God, but I don't know. . ." Wah, wah, wah!!! Be a man. Say you're an atheist. Or a Baptist. Or a Satanist. Anything is better than a wimpy-*ss agnostic. haha, I like it, maybe i should say I believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, flying hippos, and that Lucifer has selected me to be the harbinger of terror. Lol... I am one of those women. And I have a hard time being interested in anyone who doesn't believe in God or share in my faith at least somewhat... but it isn't for the reason you'd think. It's not a judgmental thing... It's more like a reverse judgment.... I talk about God in my day to day conversations... it just comes up... but recently I had lunch with my cousin who is an atheist and I found myself stopping myself from saying things in normal conversation because I didn't want to offend her anti beliefs or have her offend my positive belief in God. It's not a judgment thing. Really. It's just that if you're raised to believe in God most likely it's en-grained into your psyche and it would be hard to have a long term relationship with someone you can't really talk to about everything. Isn't that the point of loving someone? You can share anything with them??? I can see where it could be a problem if God is a big part of your life. Then its kind of a deal breaker but I know a lot of nonpracticing religious people who judge agnostics harshly. I don't get that.
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I can see where it could be a problem if God is a big part of your life. Then its kind of a deal breaker but I know a lot of nonpracticing religious people who judge agnostics harshly. I don't get that. This! My family members look at me with pure pity. Wishing one day I come around but I am better "christians" than them. lol I have no problem dating someone that believes .Yet, I do have a problem who believe but who don't actually follow though.
FryFish Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 as opposed to being atheist and you don't believe in any being higher than yourself.Dont misrepresent atheists please. Atheists dont believe in any deities. They may or may not believe in beings "higher than themselves"... For the record, Im agnostic/atheist(I dont believe there are any gods but I cant know there arent any gods) and I dont have a problem keeping religious girls interested.
zengirl Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I'm a complicated sort of spiritualist (a little bit Buddhist, a little bit Taoist, kind of dig some parts of Kabbalah, believe in something, not sure what, really, read tea leaves sometimes, was raised Christian but don't believe in any Judeo-Christian ways, like to attend synagogue sometimes and was a converted Jew for awhile but not now. . . ), and while it's been a problem with some men, not so much, really, in the big scheme. I guess I could never date a devout Christian. And they'd reject me. But most of them, in my area, are very incompatible with me politically, which is a bigger thing for me, and on their view of basic human rights and such. So, it's not so much about God. It doesn't bother me whatever anyone believes, so long as they don't need me to agree. But, outside of the strict Christian community, I really haven't had this issue with anyone else. I'm sorry your community is so closed-minded. I find women tend to be more closed-minded about this than men on average (maybe I'm wrong, but that's been my experience). My BF is an atheist. I'm not, but it's not a big deal. We debate about whether God exists sometimes and we also debate about astrology; to me, both are part of the same discussion, so I'm weird. I don't really care if he agrees with me and sees magic in the world; I do. I don't need a lot of people to justify my beliefs. I guess if someone does, and it's a big part of their life, I understand their needing a similar partner. But I think there are plenty out there who wouldn't mind your agnosticism. Depends on where you live/who you meet, I guess. As someone who believes in God I would find it difficult to be with someone who doesn't since God is a big part of my life. It would be one thing if you're agnostic in the sense that you don't belong to any particular religious organization but still believe in God and/or are somewhat spiritual as opposed to being atheist and you don't believe in any being higher than yourself. I could be with someone who is part of the former group- the latter, no. Atheism isn't well-described often, and this is no exception, unfortunately. For the most part, atheists I've met merely say while God is possible, he is not probable, nor are any other deities, and that all evidence points to his nonexistance, rather than his existance. The whole "teapot around Mars" metaphor. . . well, there MIGHT be a teapot orbiting Mars, but worshipping it just doesn't feel right. I'm not an Atheist, FTR, but I feel this doesn't accurately describe their beliefs.
fishtaco Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Yeah, that's a tough one. I'm agnostic too. I don't know if there's a god, and I'm not interested in finding out. I almost always go for inter-racial dating, so I think there's enough of cultural gap anyway that if they're willing to go through that, adding religious differences doesn't discourage them. But it's a just guess on my part. From my perspective, as long as they aren't in some sort of destructive/self-destructive cult, and they don't force anything one me, I don't care what religion they are. I've only had one instance I can think of where I know I was rejected due to my agnostic-ness. I was at a bar, this chick, completely plastered, started chatting me up because she thought I was cute. Then she proceeded to launch into these religious talks. When she found out I'm agnostic, she lost interested in me and bailed. My friends gave me crap and told me I should have lied about my religious status; it was pretty obvious what was about to go down (especially the ones already in a relationship, they tend to be pushy because they want to live the single life vicariously though me)... I bet some Christian guy at the bar got lucky that night.
cerridwen Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Has anyone else been rejected based on their religious beliefs or maybe even done the rejecting? I've always been agnostic but only recently have women back to back stated it as a deal breaker... it's always something. It's a deal breaker for me. I could not date an agnostic or atheist. Spirituality plays too big a part in my life. My S.O. does not need to be of the same religion, but belief is immensely important to me.
Author TouchedByViolet Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 As someone who believes in God I would find it difficult to be with someone who doesn't since God is a big part of my life. It would be one thing if you're agnostic in the sense that you don't belong to any particular religious organization but still believe in God and/or are somewhat spiritual as opposed to being atheist and you don't believe in any being higher than yourself. I could be with someone who is part of the former group- the latter, no. I believe the world is more complicated than jesus, muhammad, or any religion that over simplifies reality. Additionally, I believe science and art hold many answers and reasons for life. Whether it is science's pursuit to cure disease, understand the universe, or just acquire knowledge. Or arts ability to express emotions and elements of the human experience. I always found God to be an over simplification. This! My family members look at me with pure pity. Wishing one day I come around but I am better "christians" than them. lol I have no problem dating someone that believes. Yet, I do have a problem who believe but who don't actually follow though. I know the feeling completely. Intolerant family members can make life really frustrating. Those who believe often cast the first stone.
NYCGirly Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Atheism isn't well-described often, and this is no exception, unfortunately. For the most part, atheists I've met merely say while God is possible, he is not probable, nor are any other deities, and that all evidence points to his nonexistance, rather than his existance. The whole "teapot around Mars" metaphor. . . well, there MIGHT be a teapot orbiting Mars, but worshipping it just doesn't feel right. I'm not an Atheist, FTR, but I feel this doesn't accurately describe their beliefs. I wasn't attempting to give a hard and fast definition of atheism just going on my personal experience with atheists. Not at all the point of my post. The atheists I've met don't believe in any God or higher being nor do they believe in worshiping any God, period. They simply believe it's us alone in the universe and when we die that's it.
utterer of lies Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Has anyone else been rejected based on their religious beliefs or maybe even done the rejecting? I've always been agnostic but only recently have women back to back stated it as a deal breaker... it's always something. Why would you even want to date someone who would reject you for not being a christian? Those girls disqualify themselves...
Eclypse Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Well I'm an atheist personally. I have many religious friends (some hardcore). Personally I get along well with all of them. One girl in particular I was quite interested in dating, and I would have, but then I discovered her views on abstinence. She was one of the more intense ones. However I do find when the conversation switches to religious topics, then big big fights occur. I usually just back away as I don't want to ruin the friendship, since I've yet to meet a Christian who is willing to accept that I have different views, or at least is willing to debate them with me. And dating is out of the question, unless of course she foregoes the no sex before marriage rule, and as long as she doesn't drag me to church with her
Recommended Posts