bsilmb Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 background info: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t262205/ so I've had four straight nights where we talk anywhere from 1-4 hours. she initiates conversation a lot lately and I'm confident about asking her to the winter dance, but some friends told me why she broke up with her only boyfriend ever. apparently they were kissing and as he went to go for more, she got really upset, cried, and he left. they stopped going out immediately. I'm not looking to do that with her though. I genuinely like her and would like to be with her, but I would fear progressing past kissing. she never seems to want to talk about that stuff very much. we connect so well though and I don't want to lose my chance. any advice would be awesome, thanks!
Bridgey Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I think you're thinking too far ahead. Why don't you just ask her to the dance, see how that goes, and then worry about progressing with the relationship. Once you guys are comfortable with each other, then you can discuss with her what she would feel comfortable doing.
Author bsilmb Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 I think you're thinking too far ahead. Why don't you just ask her to the dance, see how that goes, and then worry about progressing with the relationship. Once you guys are comfortable with each other, then you can discuss with her what she would feel comfortable doing. sounds good. I'm just afraid she might fear getting into a relationship over that and I don't want her to. I want to reassure her I don't want sex
Author bsilmb Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 I think you're thinking too far ahead. Why don't you just ask her to the dance, see how that goes, and then worry about progressing with the relationship. Once you guys are comfortable with each other, then you can discuss with her what she would feel comfortable doing. sounds good. I'm just afraid she might fear getting into a relationship over that and I don't want her to. I want to reassure her I don't want sex
oaks Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 No, you shouldn't bother. Not because of the new information you've posted here but because you've been dithering and sitting on the fence for so long that I'm not sure you're ever going to ask her out anyway. Ok, that's the rant out of the way, now just follow the previous advice and ask her out. Do it. Do it before you feel the need to start another thread asking us if you should. There, now you have both answers - pick whichever you wanted.
Author bsilmb Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 No, you shouldn't bother. Not because of the new information you've posted here but because you've been dithering and sitting on the fence for so long that I'm not sure you're ever going to ask her out anyway. Ok, that's the rant out of the way, now just follow the previous advice and ask her out. Do it. Do it before you feel the need to start another thread asking us if you should. There, now you have both answers - pick whichever you wanted. I'm not sitting around actually. I wouldve asked Monday but we've been out of school for snow and ice all week. I still plan on asking her tomorrow, as long as we aren off again.
denise_xo Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 sounds good. I'm just afraid she might fear getting into a relationship over that and I don't want her to. I want to reassure her I don't want sex I like your thoughtful attitude, but this comes later in the process. Ask her out first, deal with expectations of intimacy later. And no more posting now until you've asked her out :laugh: j/k
Author bsilmb Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 I like your thoughtful attitude, but this comes later in the process. Ask her out first, deal with expectations of intimacy later. And no more posting now until you've asked her out :laugh: j/k haha I followed through on your challenge for me. I was on the phone with her for six hours last night, she asked me to call and insisted we keep talking hah, so it wasn't me. we never run out of stuff to talk about. about an hour in I asked her to the dance, but she just wants to go with friends, but that's understandable, it's a carefree dance not prom. so then I asked her out to do something. we eventually settled that I'm probably gonna go to her house sometime. she lives with her dad in a condo, and said I should come over when he's not home. which is a lot of the time cuz he works night shifts from like 3 in the afternoon til 1am. I don't know if she's hinting we're gonna do stuff or what. I'm just looking forward to being with her alone. the thing is we haven't set a exact time to go to her house. I kinda hinted at tonight, and she said we'll see cuz she's not sure. I might have plans tonight, but I don't wanna blow her off if she ends up wanting to hang. I just don't want to nag her about when she wants to even though she seems pretty up for it. AND she sometimes will tell me to text her the next day or to call her, but she didn't last night and ive been initiating convo lately, so should I just wait for her to? so any tips on all this?
Author bsilmb Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 I like your thoughtful attitude, but this comes later in the process. Ask her out first, deal with expectations of intimacy later. And no more posting now until you've asked her out :laugh: j/k haha I followed through on your challenge for me. I was on the phone with her for six hours last night, she asked me to call and insisted we keep talking hah, so it wasn't me. we never run out of stuff to talk about. about an hour in I asked her to the dance, but she just wants to go with friends, but that's understandable, it's a carefree dance not prom. so then I asked her out to do something. we eventually settled that I'm probably gonna go to her house sometime. she lives with her dad in a condo, and said I should come over when he's not home. which is a lot of the time cuz he works night shifts from like 3 in the afternoon til 1am. I don't know if she's hinting we're gonna do stuff or what. I'm just looking forward to being with her alone. the thing is we haven't set a exact time to go to her house. I kinda hinted at tonight, and she said we'll see cuz she's not sure. I might have plans tonight, but I don't wanna blow her off if she ends up wanting to hang. I just don't want to nag her about when she wants to even though she seems pretty up for it. AND she sometimes will tell me to text her the next day or to call her, but she didn't last night and ive been initiating convo lately, so should I just wait for her to? so any tips on all this?
Author bsilmb Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 okay, so I brought up the time, and she suggested next weekend, so I guess we will see what happens then. I think it's basically a date. we will be alone and everything. I'm just curious as to whether or not I should try to kiss he or anything. I think we might watch a movie and do stuff like that. so should I like cuddle with her. I mean, I think I might get an idea of what might happen once I'm there. so any tips or advice is greatly appreciated, thanks
Author bsilmb Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 does anyone have any input on this?
Bridgey Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 okay, so I brought up the time, and she suggested next weekend, so I guess we will see what happens then. I think it's basically a date. we will be alone and everything. I'm just curious as to whether or not I should try to kiss he or anything. I think we might watch a movie and do stuff like that. so should I like cuddle with her. I mean, I think I might get an idea of what might happen once I'm there. so any tips or advice is greatly appreciated, thanks You've pretty much answered your own question. Let things naturally happen. Play off of the vibe you get from her, and she'll do the same. Stop over thinking!! It'll work out fine
Author bsilmb Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 You've pretty much answered your own question. Let things naturally happen. Play off of the vibe you get from her, and she'll do the same. Stop over thinking!! It'll work out fine oh I see that now haha. I guess I'll see what happens. I think it might leas to kissing and stuff but I'm trying not to plan ahead or think too much about it. I'm gonna be at her house, ALONE, which she suggested. I don't know if that means she wants to do stuff, or just so her dads not around. I must say i'm looking forward to next weekend
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