spackle Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Musing on some threads here. Have you ever bumped in to an ex and thought I can't believe I slept with THAT? or do you think it's totally person dependent? Just wondering because of what defines attraction, if it's purely chemical/biological then no, attraction won't die because those pheromones are firing. If it's based on our projection of who we think they are, ignore red flags etc, think that snoring is cute in the beginning 6months down the line you want to put a pillow over their heads etc. Yes attraction will die off......
january2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In my experience, it's person-dependent. I've crossed paths with some previous exes and felt nothing. With other exes, something stirs inside that's very fleeting and barely detectable, but it's there.
Jannah Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 In my experience, it's person-dependent. I've crossed paths with some previous exes and felt nothing. With other exes, something stirs inside that's very fleeting and barely detectable, but it's there. This, most definitely.
Eeyore79 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 My attraction to people is usually based on assumptions about them as a person. When those assumptions are proved false, the attraction dies. I've bumped into exes and found they've changed little in terms of looks, but I'm not attracted to them because I know they're not the type of person I want to be with (except for one ex who went downhill in a big way looks-wise - boy did I dodge a bullet there!)
WTRanger Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 My attraction to people is usually based on assumptions about them as a person. When those assumptions are proved false, the attraction dies. I've bumped into exes and found they've changed little in terms of looks, but I'm not attracted to them because I know they're not the type of person I want to be with (except for one ex who went downhill in a big way looks-wise - boy did I dodge a bullet there!) I'm there with Eeyore. Most of them that I'm not attracted to is in the personal or emotional side due to how they handled events surrounding or leading up to the breakup. Or red-flag behavior that I chose to disregard during our time together. I more think to myself, "I can't believe I put up with that person!" The only ex I'm still highly attracted to in both ways is one from the college years that was a mutual breakup due to our lives going in different paths. She was and still is an amazing woman, but we're just still two different people at this point so we stay away from each other.
jenifer1972 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I agree with Eeyore. Some people you can break up with and still respect, others - their behavior sours any attraction there was. What I call the "naive enamoured" feelings give way to "enlightened disillusioned".
Shatter3d Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I hope my attraction for my ex dies soon. That is my only ticket out of this mess. The funny thing is that when I first met him I was quite repulsed by him physically and would never EVER imagine myself kissing him let alone anything else....then we got to know each other and I realised what a GEM of a man he really was, very rare and unique and fell in love with his personality. Now that I love him he might as well be friggen Brad Pitt.
gator12 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I hope my attraction for my ex dies soon. That is my only ticket out of this mess. The funny thing is that when I first met him I was quite repulsed by him physically and would never EVER imagine myself kissing him let alone anything else....then we got to know each other and I realised what a GEM of a man he really was, very rare and unique and fell in love with his personality. Now that I love him he might as well be friggen Brad Pitt. So true. Fact is, personality is sooo much more important than looks. My ex though, I still think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, both inside and out. I think imperfects are a big part of this as well. Physically she's just so stinking pretty, she has a few personality flaws but so do all of us I guess. Idk *sigh* now I'm missing her again =/. Oooo well ups and downs, that's life.
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