Engadget Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 1950's US of course, minus the racism. Meaning she wishes she was a housewife, while I worked. Her two best friends also agreed with her on it. For all the talk of feminism, is this more common than we think?
zengirl Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Plenty of women still go to college to get their Mrs. degree, sure, if that's what you're asking. Tons of women want to stay home. Not all, or even most, but a fair amount. I don't find this contrary to feminism. Feminism is about having the opportunities to do what you want. Bring on househusbands, housewives, and working people of both genders. Women can still stay home while a guy works. It can be 1950s for HER without being 1950s for everyone.
Woggle Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Some women blame feminism for their dating issues when in reality nobody forces them to follow it. Feminism is itself a positive force but it was hijacked by misandrists and helped to drive a wedge between the genders.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Some women blame feminism for their dating issues when in reality nobody forces them to follow it. Feminism is itself a positive force but it was hijacked by misandrists and helped to drive a wedge between the genders. Yessir! Feminism was a movement for realistic changes, and rights. Misandrists want men and women to be equal in every sense of the word, and that it just never going to happen starting with the fact that we were not created equal. Time to let that go Misandrists!
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Misandrists want men and women to be equal in every sense of the word, and that it just never going to happen starting with the fact that we were not created equal. Time to let that go Misandrists! Really? No equality between men and women? I'm far from a "misandrist" and I think it's a fact that there are inherent differences between males and females, in the big picture, but I'm adamant about equality.
Woggle Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Misandrists actually don't want equality. They want men to be the new 2nd class citizens. All feminists don't fit under this but they are the loudest voices from the feminist movement these days.
Sanman Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Certainly, there is still the possibility of a 1950's lifestyle. Though modern day economics and price inflation are making that rarer. It certain aspects I can see the joys of such a lifestyle. Many relationships I know, including some of my own, have struggled with whose career should take precedence in a couple. On the topic of feminism, it was a great cause that never completely met the goals that it set out to achieve. Misandry and other issues have perverted many good ideas.
zengirl Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Misandrists actually don't want equality. They want men to be the new 2nd class citizens. All feminists don't fit under this but they are the loudest voices from the feminist movement these days. I don't honestly know who the loudest are. What do you consider the feminist movement today? Most women's groups I've seen want pretty normal things: equal pay for equal work (some blow it out of proportion with the 75 cents to a dollar statistic, which is affected by many women's choices too), more women in upper management, reproductive control of our own bodies, etc. I've also seen a recent buzz amongst feminists about male education, and needing more male teachers (particularly in Elementary schools) because it is positive for both genders socialization. But all the feminists I know are just reasonable women who are all for equal stuff between most groups of people. Where are all these loud misandrists? Day time TV? I never watch that stuff, so maybe.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 1950's US of course, minus the racism. Meaning she wishes she was a housewife, while I worked. Her two best friends also agreed with her on it. For all the talk of feminism, is this more common than we think? I do think that there is an undeniable allure and nostalgia for a time when gender roles were clearly defined. Also, some people really would prefer to keep house than work at a job outside of the house, and to wear a crisp shirtwaist dress and stilettos while doing so! (Some of those people are guys!) I don't really think that feminism has anything to do with that at all. If it works for both people involved, then that is good. Where feminism came into play was when women needed to know that other roles were available in addition to that traditional one; the profession or jobs she went for did not have to be defined by her gender, and neither did her pay scale.
Sanman Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 While I'm not against feminism and am very much for equal treatment for men and women, I am disgusted my some of the behavior put out there as modern feminism. While I find them entertain in a train wreck sort of way, Tracie Egan and Moe Tkacik are apparently some of what NYC holds up as feminists. http://station.newteevee.com/show/thejezebelincident/
bayouboi Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Women can still stay home while a guy works. It can be 1950s for HER without being 1950s for everyone. This is no longer that easy of an option. For people to live comfortably (whatever your definition of that may be), most family units need the dual income to support the expected lifestyle. You can thank our government and taxation across the board for that.
zengirl Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 This is no longer that easy of an option. For people to live comfortably (whatever your definition of that may be), most family units need the dual income to support the expected lifestyle. You can thank our government and taxation across the board for that. Fair point, though tax rates have gone down across the board since the 1950s, so not so much on the last point. I'd love to go back to Eisenhower tax rates. 90% on that highest income bracket. Inflation, produced by corporations (government deregulation and subsidization of them being issues), is more the culprit.
musemaj11 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I also wish it was 1950s again. Women out of the workforce means more jobs for men. Feminism started as a civil right's movement for equality but now it has has simply turned into female chauvinism that promotes options for women without extending the same right for men. Today women can choose whether she wants to spend most of her time at work or with their kids. But men's choice remains only one which is spending most their time at work. It wont be long before Masculinism arises as a movement also in the near future.
zengirl Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Today women can choose whether she wants to spend most of her time at work or with their kids. But men's choice remains only one which is spending most their time at work. Untrue. I know househusbands. One of them does work part-time, from home, because he enjoys what he does (programming stuff), but one doesn't work at all. Just takes care of the kids. And he loves it, and so does his wife, who brings home the bacon. Men can be househusbands too if they find themselves a breadwinner and are so inclined. I know only a few men who'd want to, though. And some of those, just like some women who want to, won't be able to afford it.
AverageJoe Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 As others have pointed out the Feminist movement started as a positive aspect. Then ultimately became unruly, even in it's current form. Want to know what puts the icing on the cake? The current court system that still believes this is the 1950's whenever a divorce is on the docket. In regards to the topic at hand. I do not believe there are many women left that want to take care of their man like they did during those times.
Eeyore79 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Being free to work and being forced to work are two different things. Women wanted the option to work when it suited them, but with rising house prices etc it's gradually become the case that a family needs two incomes to manage, and women no longer have the choice to work, they are forced to work - all the time, even when they'd rather not. Women would probably prefer to work while they were single, stay home and raise their children, then go back to work when the kids no longer needed them. Unfortunately this isn't possible since a family now requires two incomes to survive, so women have to work rather than raising their children. In a way, I'd rather be a 1950s housewife too - I'd happily trade the freedom to work for the freedom to stay home and raise my own children, since those two things seem to be mutually exclusive.
sweetjasmine Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 1950's US of course, minus the racism. Meaning she wishes she was a housewife, while I worked. Her two best friends also agreed with her on it. For all the talk of feminism, is this more common than we think? If you dumped your girlfriend, and she couldn't get a job because of her gender and had to "catch" a man to provide for her just to survive, she might change her tune. It doesn't have to be the 1950s for anyone to decide to stay at home and be a housewife or househusband. I don't find this contrary to feminism. Feminism is about having the opportunities to do what you want. Bring on househusbands, housewives, and working people of both genders. Women can still stay home while a guy works. It can be 1950s for HER without being 1950s for everyone. Exactly.
musemaj11 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Untrue. I know househusbands. One of them does work part-time, from home, because he enjoys what he does (programming stuff), but one doesn't work at all. Just takes care of the kids. And he loves it, and so does his wife, who brings home the bacon. Men can be househusbands too if they find themselves a breadwinner and are so inclined. I know only a few men who'd want to, though. And some of those, just like some women who want to, won't be able to afford it. Oh please, lets get real. Most women wont see a guy again if he told her that he wanted to be a househusband. Personally I like children and I would love to be the one raising a child when I had one instead just meeting him/her only 2 hours a day. But I know that its probably not gonna happen.
quankanne Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Meaning she wishes she was a housewife, while I worked. I've been gainfully employed as a journalist since graduating college 21 years ago, so when I was laid off at the end of the year, it was a huge shock. I identified myself very closely with my job, you know? But the down time has been really interesting, because I've been able to focus on being a "house-mouse" as my husband calls it, finally having the time for all the little projects I've left half-done because there's never been a good patch of time to work on them continuously. I don't think it's about being a throw-back or a slacker, but really finding something valuable in having breathing space by not feeling that I *must* work or that's something's wrong with me ... it's definitely allowing me to get back to the basics, so to speak, to figuring out what I really want to do with my life, rather than just being employed to be employed. I don't know that I'd want to go back to the '50s, though, this time in history is incredibly liberating for women because our futures are wide open ... options are not as limited as they were back then.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) In my ideal relationship, the man would be the primary breadwinner, and I would be the primary nurturer of the family and home. Not because I can't or don't want to work, but because I'll always be a better domestic goddess/earth mother than business world bitch. However, there are more factors than just economic to consider here. There's an excellent book called Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life (originally published in 1976, but still quite relevant) that discusses broad trends in modern Western societies, including the fact that in the 1950s era, when this arrangement was the norm, an unexpected consequence was that a majority of men reported that they lost respect for a wife who did nothing but care for the family and home. Her diminishing ability to communicate with him about adult problems, current events, and so on had a negative effect on their relationship. With the power (earning power) tilted so strongly in their favor, men began to see themselves as caretaker figures, rather than partners. Even though these men thought they wanted the traditional setup, once they had it, they couldn't understand why it let them down. The analysis goes much deeper than I can describe here, of course. But for me, it made a strong point, and I have seen this very thing happen with friends of mine when the mother did not work. Edited February 3, 2011 by Ruby Slippers
Woggle Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 One big issue with not wanting a housewife is that women in that position tend to feel they have lost themselves or lost their identity. They want to be more than a wife and mother and when resentment kicks in guess who gets blamed. At least I know that if my wife ever turns on me she has her own money and resources so she won't be taking mine.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Another factor is that my generation came of age during a strong resurgence in feminism (particularly around reproductive rights), and during this time, women got a lot of conflicting messages about what it means to be a woman, mother, wife, etc. On this forum, within the past year, in 2011 I have seen men brand mothers who work even part time as "bad mothers", "selfish", "materialistic", and so on. About half the men I've dated seriously told me that they strongly opposed the idea of me ever working if we had kids. If you want to take care of the family and not work, you're "lazy". If you want to work and make money, you're "selfish". And of course, those mothers who choose not to have children at all have mental problems or "will wake up eventually".
Woggle Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I don't know why these men think that since they will get bled dry in the divorce. I insist that any woman I am with be able to support herself.
carhill Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Perhaps atypical, I was born into a 50's household where my mother had been continuously employed for 16 years since building airplanes during WW2 and, married six years, chose to become a SAHM when I was born. I never saw any of the male dominance and female subservience stereotypes, perhaps a function of having older parents (43 and 37, respectively) when coming into the world. The 50's and 60's were great years to be a child, IMO. Of course, living on one income meant being frugal, and that's where mom's expertise at stretching the dollar contributed greatly to the family's success. Her value as domestic manager was every bit as important as dad's role as income provider. That's where I learned the concepts of teamwork, spending smart and saving. I see the same dynamics being possible today as long as both partners are willing and compatible. In fact, far more options exist today, due to social and technological growth, than ever existed when I was born. The variable is people. It's up to us. We can make it happen
Ruby Slippers Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I think that the power appeals to some insecure men. I believe their thinking is that if she is financially dependent on you, she will be more likely to stay and obey.
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