StoneCold Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 How is a guy an "overly cocky douchebag" because he sees a breath takingly beautiful woman, who instantly turns the situation into a now or never affair, and decides to approach her to see if she would like to get to know each other better? Just because a guy has the huevos to do so doesn't make him a man who's full of himself, and more importantly, it doesn't make him a douchebag. Holy ****. When was there such a fine line between cocky douchebag and confident? Jesus. People are way too judgemental. Aye to this. I'm kind of tired hearing women complain that there' s no good guys and then when a guy approaches em he gets... rudness attitude labeled cold shouldered belittled And then when a girl Is receptive (or at least not rude about it) its great but then the other girls go..."look at that whore...shes a slut...what a ho" and this just deters other women from acting like regular reasonable people. oy vey
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 How come women who go clubbing alot thrive on attention? Or just in general, why do women wear provocative clothing to, oh say, go to school? Or go to the grocery store? Is it wrong of me if I look at a woman who's wearing something that grabs attention, and just kind of already know what she's about? Like "Wow, that's hot. She knows what she's doing wearing that..cry for attention." Type of deal. Cause that's what it is isn't it? Something for them to feel good about themselves due to the amount of external validation they get? Like women who go to the gym in just a sports bra and very tight leggings. So basically the only thing covered is their breasts, and everything from the waist down. And they'll usually be frequenting the areas with mostly men in it. Isn't that the same thing? Yeah she's working out, but did she really have to get all sexified out? Is the attention really THAT important to some women? Is that some way of placing value on themselves? I saw this one woman, she was wearing just that. She had on a sports bra, and some leggings...with the classic Ed Hardy hat. Ontop of that, when I was looking in her direction, I noticed her pull down her leggings so her "Tramp Stamp" would be visible. Laughing, I shook my head. Like wow, really? Attention means that much to women huh? And what's good with women who are already in a relationship but still need that kind of attention? Isn't that a bad thing? Why would a guy want to be with a woman like that, one who's going to require the attention of other men aside from her boyfriend/husband...and dresses provocatively to secure that attention. How about women who own a facebook, and they've only got pictures of them wearing provocative clothing up. And in half of them, her cleavage is like a foot away from the camera. **** like that just irks me lol, attention whoring wouldn't you say? That **** just screams insecure to me. :S Seriously, I know! Why do guys go to the gym with sleeve less shirts on? Why are they looking for attention? Seriously it isn't that serious , some women dress provocatively because they worked hard for their bodies. Or for whatever reason. Does it really matter? People usually want to sample something before they buy it ,right? lol kidding Anyway your post reminded me of this Dave Chapelle stand up and he was talking about a lady with her clevage showing at a club, he made an outburst "Damn look at them titties!" and she replied "Just because because I dress like a whore ! Does not make me one" lol - or something like that.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Seriously, I know! Why do guys go to the gym with sleeve less shirts on? Why are they looking for attention? Seriously it isn't that serious , some women dress provocatively because they worked hard for their bodies. Or for whatever reason. Does it really matter? People usually want to sample something before they buy it ,right? lol kidding Anyway your post reminded me of this Dave Chapelle stand up and he was talking about a lady with her clevage showing at a club, he made an outburst "Damn look at them titties!" and she replied "Just because because I dress like a whore ! Does not make me one" lol - or something like that. A sleeveless shirt isn't the same as wearing SKIN TIGHT leggings with a sports bra on...ONLY. The male equivalent of that would be a guy who is wearing that cut off shirt with the abdominal area cut off. Yeah, they worked hard for their body, I understand. But the point I'm trying to make is, they make it pretty clear that they value external validation in a fashion that's a bit over the top. I've worked hard for my body, but what if that post was about me going to the gym with that cut off shirt that shows off the abdominals? I'd be called a cocky douchebag in a heartbeat. You should know, you posted on my thread. People were telling me I'm full of myself left and right just because I mentioned that I'm attractive, with is honestly just the reality of the situation. Why is it meaningless when a woman basically leaves little of her body clothed? Why are some women so insecure? Nature? Social norm? Insecure to the point that they basically need that external validation, and make it who they are as a person. Why? This is actually relevant to the thread. Women DO dress provocatively just so they can have guys approach them in public, so their ego can get a boost. That is not healthy lol. And I couldn't see it being a good thing for the man who is with that woman. And yes, that Dave Chappelle material was hilarious.
sally4sara Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Yeah, it is pretty much that easy. Or rather yes, men pretty much are that easy. But we're talking about an extreme instance for a woman to just walk out her door and start waving it around to the first person who walks by. Its down to the difference in priorities. A guy will generally be scoping out sex and maybe a relationship will come of it. A woman will be scoping out a relationship and maybe sex will come of it. So women will have an easier time finding a date because dating is the male route to his goal - sex. But it doesn't mean she will have an easy time attaining her more likely goal of a relationship through dating. She will just find more opportunities to sift through for her own goal. Just as a guy won't always get laid at the end of a date or three, a woman won't always find her goal either at the end of a date or three. Since sex is not as commonly held off till marriage anymore, I'd say men are more likely to attain their goal (sex) before a woman will now because she is more likely to have sex as part of her search for a relationship. It use to be that men had to give the woman her goal (relationship) first before attaining his goal. But who'd want the sex life of a person who didn't have sex as part of their initial goal at all and upon reaching their goal, has sex as an obligation for having gotten what they wanted?
SmileFace Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) A sleeveless shirt isn't the same as wearing SKIN TIGHT leggings with a sports bra on...ONLY. The male equivalent of that would be a guy who is wearing that cut off shirt with the abdominal area cut off. Yes, it is the equivalent. In what world do guys go around showing off their bodies in belly shirts? Most women do not wear leggings to a gym, we wear spandex tights. What does it matter what someones wears to a gym? Yeah, they worked hard for their body, I understand. But the point I'm trying to make is, they make it pretty clear that they value external validation in a fashion that's a bit over the top. Who doesn't actually want external validation? I've worked hard for my body, but what if that post was about me going to the gym with that cut off shirt that shows off the abdominals? I'd be called a cocky douchebag in a heartbeat. You should know, you posted on my thread. People were telling me I'm full of myself left and right just because I mentioned that I'm attractive, with is honestly just the reality of the situation. If you went to the gym in a cut off shirt? So, you are not full of yourself for mentioning you are attractive all the time? Why is it meaningless when a woman basically leaves little of her body clothed? Why are some women so insecure? Nature? Social norm? Insecure to the point that they basically need that external validation, and make it who they are as a person. Why? Who knows why certain women leaves little of her body clothed. Yes , some women are insecure because of society. Ha, you say this but what type of women are men usually drooling over? Who do we see on the magazines? Why do men complain women dress to flashy , but also complain when they dress conservative? This is actually relevant to the thread. Women DO dress provocatively just so they can have guys approach them in public, so their ego can get a boost. That is not healthy lol. And I couldn't see it being a good thing for the man who is with that woman. No women may dress provocatively in public because they are looking for a partner. Ever thought about that? And yes, that Dave Chappelle material was hilarious. Yes it is ! You seriously took my initial post to seriously. If you reread it you will notice it was suppose to be "tongue in cheek" but I decided to comment on your reply anyway. Who actual know why people do what they do. But I will say that it horrid to put all women in one box. Edited February 3, 2011 by SmileFace
radiodarcy Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I always hear from guys ...girls have it easy they can get sex whenever they want or they have guys hitting on them all the time. Now i go to a big University and barely ever see guys hitting on girls. Yet guys always say girls have alot more options then guys. How true is that. How many times do you get hit on in normal public locations, shoping centers, university, malls, etc etc. Plz dont include clubs, parties or bars where alcohol is involved. i rarely - - if ever - -get hit on. i may notice a guy "check me out" every now and then but it doesn't go further than that. the area i live in has a very high ratio of women to men so it's not easy to get noticed. and i'm an introvert anyway. but yes - - i've always wondered why men say it's easier for girls to get laid, etc. i havent found that to be true at all - - at least not for me. oh and for the record, i wear baggy sweat pants and men's shirts when i go to the gym
Author Curious-One Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 i rarely - - if ever - -get hit on. i may notice a guy "check me out" every now and then but it doesn't go further than that. the area i live in has a very high ratio of women to men so it's not easy to get noticed. and i'm an introvert anyway. but yes - - i've always wondered why men say it's easier for girls to get laid, etc. i havent found that to be true at all - - at least not for me. oh and for the record, i wear baggy sweat pants and men's shirts when i go to the gym Thats something i have noticed too. .I am in a big university and often ill walk around campus, library, etc and ill see alot of girls sitting by themselves. No guy will approach them, MOST LOOK or they might point to their friends about the girl but they never say anything. Thats why i think its not as easy for girls as some guys assume. For the others that get approached by creeps, that is totally different. If you get approached by random creeps who cares... i was talking more about normal men approaching you.
somedude81 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Not to put a blanket statement over my gender, but 99% of the time, women aren't motivated by our sex drive. I know men are, but we just don't operate like that. Hence, this idea that it's so great to be a woman because we can get sex whenever we want is a fallacy. Whether or not women actually want the sex they are always being offered, is irrelevant. Simply because men want it so much and it's hard for many of us to get. It's like being a homeless person, watching a man inside a restaurant having a new dish being brought to him one after the other. The man inside only accepts a small portion of what is offered and sends the rest back as he is long past full. The homeless guy can't remember the last time he had a hot meal.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Whether or not women actually want the sex they are always being offered, is irrelevant. Simply because men want it so much and it's hard for many of us to get. It's like being a homeless person, watching a man inside a restaurant having a new dish being brought to him one after the other. The man inside only accepts a small portion of what is offered and sends the rest back as he is long past full. The homeless guy can't remember the last time he had a hot meal. Great analogy. Why do you think women hate men who get laid alot?
eerie_reverie Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I can't remember the last time I got asked out by a stranger, but then again, I don't know at what point in my routine that's supposed to happen: 5 AM - wake up 6 - 7 AM - work out @ office gym 8 - 6 PM - work 6 - 7 PM - drive home 7 - 11 PM - chillllll I shop at the suburban costco near my office (slim pickings as far as single guys are concerned) and on the weekends, I am eitehr hanging out by myself at home, or with friends at someone's house or a bar. I can go for weeks without coming in contact with new people. On the other hand, I can't remember the last time I've had NO attention from the opposite sex, either. Someone from my tight-knit life is usually interested.
diannehearts Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 IS it really that easy for you to have sex even though you don't love the girl?
zengirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Whether or not women actually want the sex they are always being offered, is irrelevant. Simply because men want it so much and it's hard for many of us to get. It's like being a homeless person, watching a man inside a restaurant having a new dish being brought to him one after the other. The man inside only accepts a small portion of what is offered and sends the rest back as he is long past full. The homeless guy can't remember the last time he had a hot meal. Except you're ignoring the male upside with this analogy, in the grand scheme of things. Men have a harder time getting laid -- given. Women are still (the trends on this are moving, but the overall numbers haven't changed) more likely to get used for sex or have a guy sleep with them who's not interested in a relationship or connection with them. If a guy gets a woman to sleep with him when she's not drunk, he's probably got a pretty good shot at a R if he wants one. A woman? Not so much. She has no reason to believe she's gotten anywhere. For a woman, sex is not a good indicator of a man's overall interest. For a man, it is a good indicator of a woman's interest. (This is all in general. Exceptions completely exist.)
Ay Diesel T Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Except you're ignoring the male upside with this analogy, in the grand scheme of things. Men have a harder time getting laid -- given. Women are still (the trends on this are moving, but the overall numbers haven't changed) more likely to get used for sex or have a guy sleep with them who's not interested in a relationship or connection with them. If a guy gets a woman to sleep with him when she's not drunk, he's probably got a pretty good shot at a R if he wants one. A woman? Not so much. She has no reason to believe she's gotten anywhere. For a woman, sex is not a good indicator of a man's overall interest. For a man, it is a good indicator of a woman's interest. (This is all in general. Exceptions completely exist.) Women hit and run to, what's your argument?
zengirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Women hit and run to, what's your argument? On average, women are less likely to do it, and men are less likely to be hurt by it. I'm speaking to averages. The whole reason why women have the upper hand in getting sex is that, on average, they seek it less, and the whole reason why men have the upper hand in making something into a serious relationship is that, on average, they seek that less. Stats show this varies between generations, but in the active day-to-day, that's where we are.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 On average, women are less likely to do it, and men are less likely to be hurt by it. I'm speaking to averages. The whole reason why women have the upper hand in getting sex is that, on average, they seek it less, and the whole reason why men have the upper hand in making something into a serious relationship is that, on average, they seek that less. Stats show this varies between generations, but in the active day-to-day, that's where we are. This is better. Doesn't sound as biased. You're improving Zengirl I'm proud!
zengirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 This is better. Doesn't sound as biased. You're improving Zengirl I'm proud! It's no different than what I wrote before. Just spelling it out for you because you seemed to miss the point.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 It's no different than what I wrote before. Just spelling it out for you because you seemed to miss the point. I'll be honest - I skimmed >.<
TouchedByViolet Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I think there has been a little too much generalization about what women want in this thread. IME, there are plenty of women that just want a guy for sex and are not focused on relationships as much as that has been stated here. Especially around my age group of 23. Dating and sex is the ideal for many women I know and if a girl wants a relationship she has dating opportunities. The women who have sex with a guy and complain about a relationship not coming of it usually are just ignorant of the man's intention from the start. Just because you sleep with a guy doesn't mean he wants to have a relationship with you. Yes, there are guys who can trick you but overall most players are easy to spot. I have no sympathy for women who make trouble for themselves by choosing the bad guys over and over again. It has been my reality that most half way decent women have many dating and sex options. Most half way decent men have very few. Dating options allow for many doors to open whether that be a relationship, FWB, or just meeting people.
zengirl Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 The women who have sex with a guy and complain about a relationship not coming of it usually are just ignorant of the man's intention from the start. Yeah, and there are many men who drop just enough crumbs to get girls to sleep with them, while acting like they never led her on. Some of my best male friends do this; they're total jerks to women. It happens a lot. I find this happens less with women, and the women who just want to sleep/date around are way easier to spot. YMMV. I have no sympathy for women who make trouble for themselves by choosing the bad guys over and over again. I don't really have sympathy for them beyond basic human empathy for anyone who's hurting, but I don't have sympathy for men who make bad dating choices either. And I disagree with this: It has been my reality that most half way decent women have many dating and sex options. Most half way decent men have very few. Dating options allow for many doors to open whether that be a relationship, FWB, or just meeting people. I think half-way decent men and halfway decent women both have prospects. Women could have sex whenever they wanted. But most halfway decent men could have a girlfriend if they were willing to invest the energy, emotion, commitment, and attitude to romance a particular woman and treat her well. No doubt, there are a select few (who are overrepresented on a forum such as this) who have major underlying issues that block them, and have had major ruts, but those blocks come from within, generally, and are not indicative of society at large.
musemaj11 Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Its all social conditioning. There's a matriarchal tribe in china where a woman can marry multiple men and she can walk into house at night and have sex with a man and leaves the next morning.
curiousaboutthings Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 It has been my reality that most half way decent women have many dating and sex options. Most half way decent men have very few. Dating options allow for many doors to open whether that be a relationship, FWB, or just meeting people. So do you do anything to change that or just laugh at men because they have less options? Women acknowledge that men have it hard but most honestly don't give a ****. They just pretend to act like they care. I think half-way decent men and halfway decent women both have prospects. Women could have sex whenever they wanted. But most halfway decent men could have a girlfriend if they were willing to invest the energy, emotion, commitment, and attitude to romance a particular woman and treat her well. And yet a woman doesn't have to put in the right energy, emotion, commitment, attitude (and romance and treat him well) to get a boyfriend. You are just trying to make guys feel better on this forum but deep down you are laughing at how bad men have it.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 All a girl needs to do, no matter how ugly, is to go into a club, and say 'who will have sex with me?'. And at least one guy will come running to them. Women don't even know they've been born. Sheesh.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 All a guy needs to do, no matter what he looks like, is make moves and say "lets do _________." At least one girl will come running. No they wont, especially with me they wont. You're so lucky you're a woman.
Ross PK Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Seriously, all a woman has to do, is go into a club, supermarket, anywhere, and shout 'okay, whoever wants to have sex with me, please form an orderly queue'. And you'll have plenty of guys lined up.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 I think this is one place where my unique life experiences can lend insight. The long and short of my sex life is that I am a bisexual who does not respect gender norms. As such I have experienced some of what a man does with women and some of what a woman does with men. In my experience the differences you all talk about are not real. They are cultural ideals. The man pursue's the woman is passive. Not all men or women are like that. Getting sex from people one actually finds attractive is the hard part. Anyone male or female straight or LGBT who stands on a buys street and says they'll literally screw anyone is likely to get some interest. The question is will those be people you want to have sex with?
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