U1987 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 So ever since I went out with that girl last week, it gave me a boost of confidence to chat up other girls, since I have someone to fall back on. I started my new semester, and had a chat and shared a smoke with a nursing student in one of my classes. I got her number, and we were supposed to go out tonight, but there's a pretty bad snow storm and I called to reschedule for tomorrow. She didn't pic up but I left a text. She said "That's alright! I'm free after 5:00 tomorrow." I texted back. "Great. How's 6:00?" She responded "That works. Where are we gonna meet?" I was planning on seeing a live band at a specific place tonight, but since the storm ruined that, I didn't really have a plan for tomorrow. I responded "Dunno yet haha I'm about to max out my txt msgs so let me call you later tonight. What time's good? She responded "I get off work at 6 so call me anytime after that" So here I am. I'm gonna call later tonight and what I want to do tonight is get coffee and then see a band. The thing is, I'd really prefer to pick her up rather than have her come meet me. It's harder for a girl to flake or call a date short when she's got no mode of transportation is the guy she's with. So this is really 2 questions in 1. How can I set it up so that I pick her up rather than have her come meet me? Should I offer (as in "instead of having you drive all the way out here, why don't you let me pick you up?) or should I insist (as in "Hey. Let me come pick you up instead.) Which is more attractive to a girl? I'm worried that "offering" comes off as too weak, as it give her a greater option to flake or call the date short. Insisting might come off as more assertive, but I'm worried that it can come off as presumptuous or obnoxious.
EasyHeart Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I normally offer to pick up a woman as a matter of convenience and good manners. You seem to think of it as a means to trap the poor girl. Your post sounds incredibly creepy. Do this girl (and every other girl you ever meet) a favor and don't ever pick her up. Ever. Women apparently need to plan an escape route when going on a date with you.
dispatch3d Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I normally offer to pick up a woman as a matter of convenience and good manners. You seem to think of it as a means to trap the poor girl. Your post sounds incredibly creepy. Do this girl (and every other girl you ever meet) a favor and don't ever pick her up. Ever. Women apparently need to plan an escape route when going on a date with you. lol u sure you fit enough hate into two paragraphs or would u prefer to hate some more?
zengirl Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I normally offer to pick up a woman as a matter of convenience and good manners. You seem to think of it as a means to trap the poor girl. Your post sounds incredibly creepy. Do this girl (and every other girl you ever meet) a favor and don't ever pick her up. Ever. Women apparently need to plan an escape route when going on a date with you. Co-signed. It was kind of creepy. No wonder she wants to meet him and he needs a plan. What girl doesn't want to get picked up for a date usually?
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Patrick Bateman? Haha, I kid. Dude. Let the girl be in her comfort zone. Whatever SHE feels comfortable with is what you should do.
alethean Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) You should offer, and if she refuses, then don't insist on driving her. There are reasons some women would prefer to meet someone there as opposed to being picked up by someone that don't involve flaking out. Personally, as someone who has experienced sexual assault at the hands of acquaintances, I would be reluctant to go in a guy's car, unless I knew him really really well. Should I sense something off about a dude, I want to be able to have a means of escape. Not saying you're a rapist or anything, but in this day and age, a girl has got to be careful. eta: Patrick Bateman? Lol. That's one way of putting it.... Oh, and why are you afraid that she's going to flake on you anyway? Hopefully you feel you're a better time than that... Edited February 3, 2011 by alethean
Author U1987 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 I normally offer to pick up a woman as a matter of convenience and good manners. You seem to think of it as a means to trap the poor girl. Your post sounds incredibly creepy. Do this girl (and every other girl you ever meet) a favor and don't ever pick her up. Ever. Women apparently need to plan an escape route when going on a date with you. What? All I'm asking is, do girls find guys who insist more attractive than guys who suggest? Does suggesting ever come off as push-overish? Does insisting ever come off as obnoxious? I don't understand what's creepy about that.
january2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 It's harder for a girl to flake or call a date short when she's got no mode of transportation is the guy she's with. This is the bit that seemed a little 'off', in that you wanted to make sure that she was forced into a situation that limited her options. Personal safety and security is very important when it comes to meeting people I don't know. I'm pretty sure that most (if not all) women feel the same way. Limiting a women's options when it comes to her personal safety and security (transportation fits into this category for me) is a serious red flag. Thus, you're getting the jokes about Patrick Bateman. It may be disappointing, but if this girl flakes on you or cuts short the date, you're going to have to be gracious about it and move on. So, offer and don't insist.
dispatch3d Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I'm pretty sure they are responding to the tone of the opening message + the fact they aren't exactly your greatests fans on this site. So I would take their input with a grain of salt. (I have no feedback to give tho, sorry).
musemaj11 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Pull her by the hair and take her to your cave.
Titania22 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Personally I don't want guys to know where I live straight away, I always prefer to meet them in a public place. Girls don't know which guys are going to be the stalkers. Please respect her right to meet you in a neutral location.
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