sammyd Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 How come some of us can fall in love with someone we've never even met, over the internet? How can it be normal, and does that mean that the feeling of love is just an illusion? Thoughts . . .
denise_xo Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In an internet context, I think the 'illusion' is that you only see the part of the person that s/he chooses to reveal combined with what the medium allows for (and not), so there are more gaps to fill in through your own imagination than there is in IRL. There is also less evidence upon which to decide whether a person is genuine or not. So, part of deciding whether internet based feelings are 'real' in that context is to critically scrutinize which parts of that image has any basis in the internet mediated correspondence, how trustworthy that correspondence appears and what kind of conclusions you can really draw from it, and what you think you are adding to the picture by your own 'productions'. Basically, you're lacking in evidence. But you can still, IME, feel a sense of 'love' for what is visible.
OpenBook Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I don't even believe that love has to be mutual (reciprocated) in order for it to be real. Like that "Tree Falling In The Forest" question. Of COURSE the tree makes a sound when it falls! Just because nobody's around to hear it, doesn't mean the sound didn't happen. Absolutely not, love is not an illusion at all. It's the Stuff of Life, the reason why we all keep getting out of bed every morning. It can be painful and messy and complicated and confusing and drive you bananas, but it's still definitely love! (Happy Valentines Day in advance!! haha)
Eeyore79 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I think with an internet relationship your imagination tends to fill in the blanks because you're not exposed to the reality. For example, I had an internet relationship with a man who had kids, but I never had any contact with the kids, and when we met up they weren't there, so in my world they didn't exist. I'm sure it would have been very different if I dated him in real life and actually had contact with the kids; if I had to confront that reality you wouldn't have seen me for dust.
january2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 How come some of us can fall in love with someone we've never even met, over the internet? How can it be normal, and does that mean that the feeling of love is just an illusion? Thoughts . . . For one of my exes it became a reality and they seem to be happy together. And there's at least one couple who met while posting on this very site. I think love is what you make it.
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