TheGrimSweeper Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 My ex about a month before our breakup started getting very wishy washy and all over the place with her feelings to me. One day she was talking about moving in together the next seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me. Her parents were also getting seperated at the time which had a huge effect on her. She broke it off saying stuff like "I love you I will always love you I can see us in the future but now now". I went complete NC for a month (realizing I'm not going to be some backup plan), then she send me a letter explaining herself more cause she thought I hated her wanted nothing to do with her. She said she needed to figure herself out, was super depressed and realized she couldn't be happy until she was happy with herself, needed to live her life, she has major commitment and abandoment issues cause of her parents seperation and was starting therapy for it. And kept on saying she hoped we could be friends through this. All I said was I don't hate you, never have and hope you find that happiness and to come talk to me when your ready and have completely disspeared since. Its now reached a month of NC. I've always been told to just dissapear on someone whose being wishy washy on you, is this the right thing to do?
WTRanger Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 If she really is going to therapy, it will take her a lot longer than a month. A month isn't that long, and she could be abiding by your wishes. She's just not ready yet. That being said, you can't and shouldn't wait around forever. She may never change. You are doing the right thing by letting her live her life and more importantly you are living your own life.
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 If she really is going to therapy, it will take her a lot longer than a month. A month isn't that long, and she could be abiding by your wishes. She's just not ready yet. That being said, you can't and shouldn't wait around forever. She may never change. You are doing the right thing by letting her live her life and more importantly you are living your own life. I know its just really tough. She keeps putting all these open ended statuses on her Blackberry Messenger and just sounds so confused with her entire life. I guess its for the best ive just bowed out peacefully and on good terms while she does this
Movingthrough Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Ive said this before but one of the problems with NC is its taken as a time thing or a you "have" to do it thing. The whole point of NC is to fix your head so you dont deal with the BS. Look at this time as you getting your head straight because she is wishy washy. I know what you are thinking, i did the same thing. You think that you should have maybe done something different, but the fact is if she is wishy washy, nothing is going to change it now. NC will allow her to figure out what she wants.
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 I know what you are thinking, i did the same thing. You think that you should have maybe done something different, but the fact is if she is wishy washy, nothing is going to change it now. NC will allow her to figure out what she wants. 100% true. Its all so confusing man, she told me she wants to be her by herself and has this ultimate dream of going to Australia to work for a few months or so cause it represents the ultimate success for her and after she'll know she can make it on her own. She doesn't want / think she'll be ready for a relationship until then. Granted this wont be for years down the line... shes still got a year and a half of Uni left then will have tons of student loans to pay off. It seems insane to me do this and really dumb, but I wont and haven't argued it with her.
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