willpower Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I've never dumped anyone who I cared about deeply, so break ups were never really an issue (I also never really dated past a couple of months till my last girl). I'm not digging for signals that she still likes me, we are in regular contact with work and if she wants me back I told her how I felt/feel and she has pleanty of opportunity to let me know that she still likes me if she changes her mind so.... When you dump someone, someone you really care about and then move on to dating someone else (we both are at present) do you ever consider the previous relationship. I know she's not sat thinking about me all the time and is probably swept away by the new person which is only natural in a new relationship but do you really STOP having feelings for the previous ex? As I said I'm living like she's never coming back and she probably never will, do those feelings dissapear entirely? Anyone ever been through it and dumped someone, dated someone else and been totally into it for a bit only to decide the new person is not what they wanted? Do your feelings for the old person dissapear in the meantime or are they always lurking? To be honest this is probably some unhealthy manifestation of me hoping she will come back but its out there now so maybe this will help purge that feeling.
SDA Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I think it would be pretty hard too just forget about someone and feelings go away that quickly. If they have that previous relationship was doomed from the start
Eeyore79 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In the past I have cared about someone and then dumped them. Usually there's something about them that turns me off, and as time passes I care about them less, until eventually I care about them so little that I dump them. Nobody dumps someone they still care about; they're usually turned off in one way or another, hence why they dump the person. So I don't think about people I've dumped, because by the time I dumped them I didn't care about them any more. Even if a future relationship doesn't work out, I'm not going to go back to a person I no longer care about.
bluebirdsfly Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In the past I have cared about someone and then dumped them. Usually there's something about them that turns me off, and as time passes I care about them less, until eventually I care about them so little that I dump them. Nobody dumps someone they still care about; they're usually turned off in one way or another, hence why they dump the person. So I don't think about people I've dumped, because by the time I dumped them I didn't care about them any more. Even if a future relationship doesn't work out, I'm not going to go back to a person I no longer care about. Very true and well said.
marqueemoon4 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I'd have kicked my ex to the curb years ago if we hadn't had a child together.
timchambo Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In the past I have cared about someone and then dumped them. Usually there's something about them that turns me off, and as time passes I care about them less, until eventually I care about them so little that I dump them. Nobody dumps someone they still care about; they're usually turned off in one way or another, hence why they dump the person. So I don't think about people I've dumped, because by the time I dumped them I didn't care about them any more. Even if a future relationship doesn't work out, I'm not going to go back to a person I no longer care about. I assume this applies in my situation too, though I wonder if there are some differences. High school sweethearts date 7 1/2 years, I provided and showed her so much love. She entered a new career and then left and immediately started dating someone she met on the job. The job ran about a month. I know she was thinking about me and "hurt" (according to her friends) when I wouldn't wait on the back burner. She called for a couple weeks after which I wouldn't return calls on. I understood the need to see what else was out there, but I cant put myself in her shoes. Clearly she was willing to lose me forever if she wanted to date someone else.
crimsonskies Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 this breaks my hope. my ex told me he still cared about me when he broke up with me, i guess it was a load of rubbish then.
bluebirdsfly Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 this breaks my hope. my ex told me he still cared about me when he broke up with me, i guess it was a load of rubbish then. 99.9999% of the time the "still care about you" is just a soft let down to ease their guilt.
Yellowbug Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I've never dumped anyone who I cared about deeply, so break ups were never really an issue (I also never really dated past a couple of months till my last girl). I'm not digging for signals that she still likes me, we are in regular contact with work and if she wants me back I told her how I felt/feel and she has pleanty of opportunity to let me know that she still likes me if she changes her mind so.... When you dump someone, someone you really care about and then move on to dating someone else (we both are at present) do you ever consider the previous relationship. I know she's not sat thinking about me all the time and is probably swept away by the new person which is only natural in a new relationship but do you really STOP having feelings for the previous ex? As I said I'm living like she's never coming back and she probably never will, do those feelings dissapear entirely? Anyone ever been through it and dumped someone, dated someone else and been totally into it for a bit only to decide the new person is not what they wanted? Do your feelings for the old person dissapear in the meantime or are they always lurking? To be honest this is probably some unhealthy manifestation of me hoping she will come back but its out there now so maybe this will help purge that feeling. 1st - I have left someone I loved due to a disconnect in common values, common interests, lack of trust, and cheating. Did I love him when I left?? Yes. Was I extrememly turned off at the time??? Yes. 2nd - Did I date someone after the break?? Yes, approximately 6 months later. Did I think about the ex with the new guy? No. My relationship with the new fellow lasted for 2 short months, but after we split I did not think about my 1st ex. I had a lot going on and was re-connecting with abandoned friendships. 3rd - Did my feelings come back for my 1st ex? Yes, but in a different way because the anger, sadness, and resentment were gone. The thoughts were more about their happiness in life, work, and family. That is just me
Recommended Posts