flow15 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Some of you may know my story... To keep a long story short my ex has broken up with me 3 times now. Main reason every time is because he loves his freedom too much and can't take being in a relationship. This always led to arguments as he felt too much pressure and couldnt take it. He came back every time cos he claimed he loved me, missed me and didnt want to lose me, and that what we had was special, despite the fact he cant be in a relationship. The last time he broke up with me was in august, and i went NC for 3 months, however we bumped into eachother and began talking every day until 2 weeks ago he decided he wanted to try again. I was so heart broken last time but i still wanted him back, and seeing as we both loved eachother still we decided to try again. But after spending one day together, he decided he couldnt do it as he still doesnt want a relationship, so ended it once again! And breaking my heart once again! I've been NC for a week, and plan to stay that way, but i remembered its his birthday coming up and I had ordered him a gift with a card a few weeks ago (when I thought we would still b together, as he seemed really genuine in trying to make it work again). Anyway I tried cancelling the order but I can't so he is going to receive it. The card has a long note inside, basically saying how much i love him, how happy i am we r giving it another shot, etc..etc.. Anyway, I just broke NC by sending him an email informing him that he will be receiving this for his birthday and that i cant cancel it, and i asked him throw it away when he gets it as i dont want him to read the card. I was pretty blunt in the message because i am trying to keep NC and we didnt exactly end very well. I basically cried to him and kept asking him to give us a try that we can figure out a way for us to work without him feeling pressure, and he just kept saying no that he didnt want a relationship. i didnt want to be friendly in the email cos he really hurt me and im still upset, although i dont think ive shown that in the email, i just kept it very short and to the point. Do you think ive appeared really rude in the email? do u think ive ruined any chances of him coming back (either because he will probably end up reading the card or because of the email)? Sorry this has ended up being so long
Whatshername Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 hmmmm.......... in that 1 day.....did you have sex?
Lil1 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I probably would hve done the same thing you did, and no I don't think you were rude by informing him in a straightforward email that you wanted him to throw it out. That is pretty much what he keeps doing with your relationship anyway. It sounds like he is playing with your emotions, or being very selfish and not considering your feelings at all. Do you really want him to come back after 3 times of him deceiving you? Chances are he will do it again. I think you should leave things the way they are. If he does try to contact you after reading the card you sent him then just tell him that was before he had discarded you for the last time. Then go NC. Be strong! Good luck to you flow15.
eeazee Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I would recommend you move on my Dear. Any man who loves you and wants to be with you, will always tell you straight up about his feelings, that he wants to be with you. The worst thing for anybody to do is to lie about their emotions. You have expressed your feelings to this guy, stating how much you love him and even after he had broken up with you thrice. Please don't waste your time on this one. It's not worth it. Go full NC, have fun and enjoy. Life's too short. He should be the one chasing you n not the other way around.
Author flow15 Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 I probably would hve done the same thing you did, and no I don't think you were rude by informing him in a straightforward email that you wanted him to throw it out. That is pretty much what he keeps doing with your relationship anyway. It sounds like he is playing with your emotions, or being very selfish and not considering your feelings at all. Do you really want him to come back after 3 times of him deceiving you? Chances are he will do it again. I think you should leave things the way they are. If he does try to contact you after reading the card you sent him then just tell him that was before he had discarded you for the last time. Then go NC. Be strong! Good luck to you flow15. Thank you.. Last time he ended it I did tell him that he did just throw me out like I meant nothing to him! He couldn't see what he did and how much he hurt me... and he probably still can't see it now. He is selfish. But when it actually comes to his birthday should i send him a message saying happy birthday or not? I dont want to be rude, and i do love him.. and when we were together he was amazing to me. If i send him a message all i will say is 'happy birthday' and nothing more. I guess I find it hard to move on because like I said when we were together he was amazing with me and we were amazing together.... and I just keep telling myself that he kept ending it cos hes young and can't be in relationships, and just loves his freedom too much. But surely if you love someone you would sacrifice your freedom?? However, I think he is too young to do that.
Lil1 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I'm in the same boat. My ex's bday is just two weeks away, and things are not entirely over between us because he still needs to come back to move his things out of my apt. (even his car is still here!). He left to a different state back in Oct. Anyway, I don't plan on sending him anything for his birthday, not even a text. I think just to send a 'happy birthday' text without anything else is just too cold/fake/insencere coming from an ex. If you care enough to really hope that he has a happy birthday then take it further and send a card or text something more (like, 'thinking of you on your special day, I hope you have a wonderful birthday, blah blah blah....) otherwise don't bother. Texting him anything would just be a reminder to him that you still think of him even though he left you, which can be interpreted as you are still pining for him. You've gotta be stronger than this! In your case, flow15, I would suggest to just to leave things the way they are. You have already asked him to throw out the birthay gift that you sent him before he walked out on you the last time, so texting him to say happy birthday would kind of be hypocritical. I know you love him (as I do my ex, though this is diminishing with everyday of NC!), but it's important to be strong for yourself. If he keeps turning you away then stop chasing him. Leave him be. You will find someone more deserving of your time and your love eventually, but for now you gotta let go and just live for yourself. This is a learning experience, so that in your next relationship you will be wiser and more in tune with his and your emotions. Just have faith that you will find love again and it will be even more amazing because he will love you in a way you deserve to be loved!
Recommended Posts