babybear Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I broke up with my 4 yr bf in THE most unsatisfying/closure-less way ever! He was being weird for a long time b/c we had some barriers blocking us from really heading towards marriage - so he became distant. I dealt with it for awhile, before just throwing my hands up in utter frustration and told him I was DONE! We're in a LDR right now b/c I moved home temporarily for school - adding to my inability to sit down and talk to him. Anyhow, we've exchanged a million texts, but never really ended things over the phone. He just keeps blowing me off...but then will text me later like it's all good. But then will go 4 days and not say anything. AHH! On Friday we txtd and I managed to say a lot of things I'd held inside, and he's like - you wanted this not me. In my head I'm thinking - you act so crappy, as if I have a choice? Who would stay in this relationship. Anywayyyy....I'm so agitated all the time b/c he seems so whatever about it! And I never got to vent or anything! I'm studying for this HUGE exam, my mind is SO not on it. And I seriously need to get a grip!!! HELP! Last night I thought I was going to lose my mind!!! Out of nowhere I just cried and cried. I need to gather myself but I'm so scattered I read one page 12 times. I'm pissed that I've done so much for him, and at this critical point in my life he's so apathetic. Help me please!!!!!!!!!
Yellowbug Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 It sounds as though he does not want to talk about it . . . He is brushing it off . . . If you can find out why, then that would be the ultimate goal . . . Although, you have to be prepared to not get answers as many of us do not . . . It takes time to be okay with a lack of answers . . . I'm sorry you have an exam during all this turmoil, but you must find the strength within to work through it . . . Put him aside for a moment, and study . . . Turn off the phone, surround yourself with peers and classmates, and just focus . . . He does not exist right now
Author babybear Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Thanks Yellowbug, your words helped a lot. I'm trying to pretend he doesn't exist...but that's pretty hard, especially when you just want to know why... I'm thinking of blocking him from my phone, email, etc...what do u all think?
Author babybear Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 So, I texted him to let him know I was blocking all forms of contact. He immediately responded asking why and that he didn't want it to be over. And I said I hoped he could see one day how inconsiderate and selfish he had been to me. He responds he wants to be there for me and will always. That got me a little - but then I realized that...no he won't be there. He hasn't been all THIS time. What would be different. So, I stopped responding and blocked his phone too. Well, I got NC whether I really wanted it or not. Now I just have to hope it was for the best.
Shatter3d Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 So, I texted him to let him know I was blocking all forms of contact. He immediately responded asking why and that he didn't want it to be over. And I said I hoped he could see one day how inconsiderate and selfish he had been to me. He responds he wants to be there for me and will always. That got me a little - but then I realized that...no he won't be there. He hasn't been all THIS time. What would be different. So, I stopped responding and blocked his phone too. I think you did the right thing. I admire your strength and courage, you should be proud ! Well, I got NC whether I really wanted it or not. Now I just have to hope it was for the best. I think it was for the best. As hard as it is, you need to try and put this behind you and concentrate on yourself and other important things in your life....even though you blocked him from everything, if he really wants to reach out one day he will...we never know what can happen in the future.
Author babybear Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 Thanks Shatter, for your encouragement. I actually smiled for the first time in days.
Shatter3d Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Thanks Shatter, for your encouragement. I actually smiled for the first time in days. I'm so glad I made you smile :) Now get studying girl !! You need to pass this exam
newrule Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Your situation sucks . It made me feel sad. You need to reason with yourself. Your exam is about your future. Think about the future you, who will have to deal with bad exam results. Think about how it will affect your cgpa. Force yourself to study. I know that's hard, but keep reinforcing reason into what you're doing. Go to the library or places where there are other people so you don't feel like breaking down and cry or lie down and wallow in self-pity all the time. Maintain the NC for a while, I suggest at least about a month. Maybe you should tell him you need your space to think. If after a month you feel that you still can't give him a chance, go for an amicable split.
Author babybear Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 newrule, aww...i feel so much sincerity from you. thank you...it means a lot. i'm in grad school right now (med student) so believe me - this exam is life changing. partly why it's been so hard to accept that he's putting me in this spot NOW of all times. and also why i can't let him or anyone get in my way. i study at home a lot, but great idea about the library or maybe a coffee shop. putting on some makeup and being in a busy place would probably help me keep focused. this exam is 2 months away - so every day counts for me. i spent most of January feeling sorry for myself - but things have got to change!
Author babybear Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 OK...and NOW i will officially study.
Recommended Posts