Billy_Boy Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 To me, cheating begins when you have to hide what youre doing or you know your SO wouldnt like it.
Author JaneyAmazed Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Having read a lot about infidelity, what is considered 'cheating' is different whether it is a woman's or a man's perspective : - Woman relate cheating to feelings/emotions. If their H has feelings/emotions or flirts with another woman, that is considered cheating. For how surprising it may sound woman forgive more easily physical infidelity rather than emotional one. If the H says it was just a fling I never loved OW, he has more chances to be forgiven than saying I loved OW but I never touched her. - Men relate cheating mostly to physical interaction (not that they are OK with emotional cheating). Men are much more hurt if their SO had sex with someone else, rather than just exchanging ILYs. As opposite to women's perspective, they forgive more easily the emotional cheating rather than the physical one. I don't really consider flirting as cheating, BUT it is disrespectful to the SO. Also flirting is playing with the fire if you let it go too far (All the A start that way). Now Janey, I wouldn't suggest that you fall in an radical POV, having male friends is Ok as long as the interactions are healthy and friendly. Well, for me, I've set up some pretty strict boundaries. I just don't think having male friends is necessary or smart for me. My H is my best friend. I've got a brother and dad that I'm very close to as well. Other than that, I think I'm good with my girlfriends! Of course, my husband and I are friends with couples too so I guess they would be considered male friends, but I never spend time alone or talk to any of those guys unless the wife is there too. Right now, I'm all about staying within the boudaries I think are appropriate for me. My view of flirting changed drastically since before the affair. Now I see how dangerous it can be. I think it's different for everyone. I respect everyone's opinion on this matter but I can't agree with it's only cheating if it's "physical." Most times, like with me, it was cheating WAY before we did anything physical.
DP63 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Well, in all honesty, cheating begins when your spouse says it does! If you wouldn't say it, do it, view it with him hanging over your shoulder watching you, that's cheating. If you wouldn't want him to say it, do it, or view without you standing next to him, that's cheating. The FIRST TIME you kept a text, email, call, conversation, feeling of attraction A SECRET FROM HIM, yep, you were on your way to cheating. My thoughts exactly. If you wouldn't do it in front of your spouse you've really got to start questioning your actions.
notsure15 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 cheating can be feulled by jealously. jealousy can make the rational insane. a friendship can be percieved by the jealous as a possible OM. My SO drives me nuts, he keeps talking with a lfame from 15yrs ago, purely platonic, they never get physical and i read whatever e-mails are exchanged. I just think temptation will be too much if they ever meet and i get really jealous even knowing she is on face book or e-mail. so he hides it sometimes to avoid the arguments. i am jealous, he hasn't done anything but keeps it form me because it bring out the "really ****ty" me that is insecure about a faithful happliy married 15yrs 4 kids and doting father. so i don't hink he cheats, it is more i can't cope.
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