elaina Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 The 2nd day after her period was late, she called me. I was busy with schoolwork, so I texted her back. She wanted me over at her place asap. I was reluctant, but she told me she was going through things and needed me there. So I sucked it up, went over to her place, and she cried in my arms for about an hour. She told me she wants to be loved she really does, and I felt bad cause I know that I'll probably never love her like she wants. In anger she told me that I don't have to worry about anything, she'll take care of the situation on her own. But I told her that I'm not worried about money, I just want to be there for her through these tough times cause lord knows, she needs it. If she isn't pregnant, I'll stick around, not for sex (that's the last thing on my mind), but to help her out if she's ever going through things. But I don't know if that'll help her or be worse, seeing as she has strong feelings for me. I understand. You can't force yourself to love somebody. Also, many times love doesn't come at first sight (like in fairy tales). Many times love comes through years of getting to know someone. Many women "fall in love" or infatuation (sometimes it's hard to know the difference) really quickly. I'm like that too. I have to really guard my heart, because it is so true that men and women are different, plus every person is unique. Also, I'm sure you've heard this before, but many women give sex to get love. It's not that she is trying to trick you into a relationship; it's just how many women are. We don't try to be like that or think that on purpose. It's just a part of many women to want to be loved, and sex is awesome, and for many women, love and sex go together. It seems many men are different, that though once they love someone, they want sex with that person, they ALSO can separate loving someone and having sex with someone easier than many women can. This is a mystery to many women. For me, I can't have sex with a guy and not love him (unless I was raped.) I don't believe in sex for recreation or just to feel good. I think this girl is a lot like me in that way. But I bet is falling for you (in love or infatuation) and it tears her apart that you don't feel the same for her even though ya'll taken that big step. Can I ask you something? If ya'll had waited to have sex, do you think you would have grown to love her? If she had been strong and made sure you didn't cross that line? Or even if ya'll didn't have sex, would you not have loved her? Men are so mysterious. It's hard to understand what they're thinking sometimes.
elaina Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 You sticking around will not help her, even though she will never push you away. It will be like, cutting an open wound. You will not be helping her at all. Unless you want to be guilted into a relationship. If you see no future for you and this girl. Be there to support her and your decision but she doesn't need much more. Yeah I agree with SmileFace, It'd be different if ya'll are raising a child together, like if ya'll decided to keep the baby, then of course the baby should get to know her/his Daddy and you would basically have to have some contact with her on a friends level in order to get to know your child. But since not, it's best to let her go and just hope for her that she heals and that a man who will love her step into the place she wants. Just like you want a LTR, yes? Well I'm sure she does too.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 I understand. You can't force yourself to love somebody. Also, many times love doesn't come at first sight (like in fairy tales). Many times love comes through years of getting to know someone. Many women "fall in love" or infatuation (sometimes it's hard to know the difference) really quickly. I'm like that too. I have to really guard my heart, because it is so true that men and women are different, plus every person is unique. Also, I'm sure you've heard this before, but many women give sex to get love. It's not that she is trying to trick you into a relationship; it's just how many women are. We don't try to be like that or think that on purpose. It's just a part of many women to want to be loved, and sex is awesome, and for many women, love and sex go together. It seems many men are different, that though once they love someone, they want sex with that person, they ALSO can separate loving someone and having sex with someone easier than many women can. This is a mystery to many women. For me, I can't have sex with a guy and not love him (unless I was raped.) I don't believe in sex for recreation or just to feel good. I think this girl is a lot like me in that way. But I bet is falling for you (in love or infatuation) and it tears her apart that you don't feel the same for her even though ya'll taken that big step. Can I ask you something? If ya'll had waited to have sex, do you think you would have grown to love her? If she had been strong and made sure you didn't cross that line? Or even if ya'll didn't have sex, would you not have loved her? Men are so mysterious. It's hard to understand what they're thinking sometimes. The honest truth is, the fact that she gave it up to the me the first day I met her, that night I decided I wouldn't pursue her seriously, or romantically. That and she doesn't really have the standards I look for as far as LTR's go. She's a great person, very honest, open. But I don't want to settle down with a person like this. If she held out, I would've dated her, but the outcome would inevitably be the same.
elaina Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 The honest truth is, the fact that she gave it up to the me the first day I met her, that night I decided I wouldn't pursue her seriously, or romantically. That and she doesn't really have the standards I look for as far as LTR's go. She's a great person, very honest, open. But I don't want to settle down with a person like this. If she held out, I would've dated her, but the outcome would inevitably be the same. Wow. That got me thinking... with this guy I like, if I meet him, then I'm going to tell him this... is this ok? Or is this way too forward? "If I'm not what you want to marry as I am now, please don't date me. What are you looking for in a long term relationship? Also, sex before love just hurts me emotionally, so I can't and won't have sex with you unless I know for sure by your commitment that you love me.""
depplover_1980 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Husband what has occured then? Have the 2nd test results come back?
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 Husband what has occured then? Have the 2nd test results come back? . Nothing yet, I sent her a text inquiring, she didn't reply, so I'm gonna just leave it alone for a couple days.
depplover_1980 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 . Nothing yet, I sent her a text inquiring, she didn't reply, so I'm gonna just leave it alone for a couple days. OK that could be best for now. I will agree to see you tomorrow night if you want to get organising?
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 OK that could be best for now. I will agree to see you tomorrow night if you want to get organising? For a second I read organising as another word. You're so hot. And yes! Tmrw night.
depplover_1980 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 For a second I read organising as another word. You're so hot. And yes! Tmrw night. Orgasming?? Where do you live in the US, I am going to work how many miles I have to swim/run to get there. I think I may have to leave now.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Orgasming?? Where do you live in the US, I am going to work how many miles I have to swim/run to get there. I think I may have to leave now. Hmm how do I know you're not a crazy murderer lol. By the way, news is in - she's not pregnant, in fact, she was lying the whole time about being pregnant. I'll elaborate tomorrow, I've been out celebrating and I'm pretty inebriated. Wow. I'm so happy lmfao. God I could scream right now that's how happy I am. **** yes! **** yesssssss!
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Orgasming?? Where do you live in the US, I am going to work how many miles I have to swim/run to get there. I think I may have to leave now. And yes, orgasming. Your profile pic isn't helping the situation, I could make it happen for ya.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 (edited) Ugh...I was pretty trashed last night lol. My head is killing me, but the news still stands - she isn't pregnant. Basically, she's made these two statements before all this pregnancy scare **** happened - 1. She feels like she has to FIGHT FOR MY COMPANY. 2. She sometimes "ACTS CRAZY" TO TEST guys she's into, to see if they're boyfriend material, and if they'll act the way she would want a guy to. That being said, I'd also like to point out, that during the 4 days of her period being late - she was freaking the **** out. So, fast forward to our bloodwork scare, during this whole time she was extremely calm, I mean extremely. I was actually the one freaking out, not crazy, but freaking out. She would send me texts like "We're gonna be fine, don't worry, tell your family you're going to be a father lmao, etc.." Just making light of the situation. Also, when I kept wanting details, she would try to brush me off saying "Look I don't want to talk about this right now, I'm going to Tampa to see my friend" When I asked her to take multiple home pregnancy tests? She dismissed me as well. And call me crazy, but if I'm having a pregnancy scare - **** Tampa, **** having a good time, I'd be on top of the issue at hand! So, another red flag I noticed - when she was giving me the details, she never mentioned HCG (pregnancy hormone), she never mentioned what the doctor said exactly. On top of that, she told me initially that she's going back in 2 more weeks for more blood work and an ultrasound. But then an hour later, told me her bloodwork was gonna be out tomorrow - while she was in Tampa, how the **** was her doctor going to give her the results? Over the phone? They aren't permitted to do so, professionally. So, while she's in Tampa, the day the 2nd set of bloodwork was supposed to be of news to her, I sent her a text asking. She replied HOURS later. I mean, the level of whatever-ness about it in her was a MAJOR red flag because when her period was late - she was BAWLING in my arms. And thoroughly needed my emotional support and company, or at least that's what it seemed..hmmmm. So she sends me a text, telling me she's not pregnant (keep in mind she's in Tampa). I was at the gym, so I wasn't replying. She sends me another one, "Don't you want to know what happened?". I still didn't reply. Next one from her, "Andre...", I finally saw her text messages, thoroughly caused a scene of joy in the gym (very nice gym btw, holy **** it was nice). By then I knew she was making this whole thing up. So I replied sarcastically "Lol yeah....what did the doctor say?" She replied instantly: My phone is dying I'll tell you tomorrow (yeah right just trying to stretch out her attention for another day or two) Me: Ok cool. Her: Can I ask you something? Me: *I thought she said her phone was dying? Lmao she's terrible at lying* "Sure. Sup?" Her: Are you mad at me? It's like you're mad at meeeeee (begging, I hate when women do that ****...) - She's feeling guilty, she knows I caught on. Me: I'll talk to you tomorrow. Her: WTF took you so long, where the F**K are you? Me: I'll talk to you tomorrow.... I don't want to have anything to do with this sick ass individual right now. I was sweating ****ing cannon balls, **** bullets for 48 hours. She basically made up this pregnancy to force me to start caring for her and giving her attention and it worked, I thought she was pregnant, I thought she was the mother of my unborn child - something inside me just started caring for her, wasn't love, but I cared deeply about her health, etc. I mean...what the F**K dude?! I don't even know what to say to her. She doesn't know that I know she lied about this whole thing. And I bet you a million bucks she'd let me have unprotected sex with her again, and probably will trap me if she does get pregnant. My friend, who I was working out with, he called it. He actually had an ex GF who was trying to get pregnant by him. And she used a pregnancy scare tactic to keep him around. He was telling me that story an hour or two before I got the news. That's when I started putting all the clues together - this chick ran game on me, hard. Pardon my typos, and random punctuation, etc...I am hung.the.f**k.over....and I.....I just don't care about grammar right now lmao... Edited February 11, 2011 by Ay Diesel T
SmileFace Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 So,this what you have to do to keep a guy around... hmm -HA! Do your self a favor and stay away from this one.
Jazzari Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Of all the ****ty things a girl can do, the "pregnancy lie" is the absolute worst. Someone pulled that on a friend of mine once, and he was ripped up for days. And she finally admitted to lying just to get him to pay more attention to her. I would cut this psycho off, and never allow contact again. What she did was unforgivable.
Nexus One Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Of all the ****ty things a girl can do, the "pregnancy lie" is the absolute worst. Someone pulled that on a friend of mine once, and he was ripped up for days. And she finally admitted to lying just to get him to pay more attention to her. I would cut this psycho off, and never allow contact again. What she did was unforgivable. No there's one lie that's even worse in this type of context, namely saying that she's taking contraception pills when she isn't. That's why I always advocate guys to bring their own (quality) condoms, always, no matter what she says.
elaina Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 (edited) Ugh...I was pretty trashed last night lol. My head is killing me, but the news still stands - she isn't pregnant. Basically, she's made these two statements before all this pregnancy scare **** happened - 1. She feels like she has to FIGHT FOR MY COMPANY. 2. She sometimes "ACTS CRAZY" TO TEST guys she's into, to see if they're boyfriend material, and if they'll act the way she would want a guy to. That being said, I'd also like to point out, that during the 4 days of her period being late - she was freaking the **** out. So, fast forward to our bloodwork scare, during this whole time she was extremely calm, I mean extremely. I was actually the one freaking out, not crazy, but freaking out. She would send me texts like "We're gonna be fine, don't worry, tell your family you're going to be a father lmao, etc.." Just making light of the situation. Also, when I kept wanting details, she would try to brush me off saying "Look I don't want to talk about this right now, I'm going to Tampa to see my friend" When I asked her to take multiple home pregnancy tests? She dismissed me as well. And call me crazy, but if I'm having a pregnancy scare - **** Tampa, **** having a good time, I'd be on top of the issue at hand! So, another red flag I noticed - when she was giving me the details, she never mentioned HCG (pregnancy hormone), she never mentioned what the doctor said exactly. On top of that, she told me initially that she's going back in 2 more weeks for more blood work and an ultrasound. But then an hour later, told me her bloodwork was gonna be out tomorrow - while she was in Tampa, how the **** was her doctor going to give her the results? Over the phone? They aren't permitted to do so, professionally. So, while she's in Tampa, the day the 2nd set of bloodwork was supposed to be of news to her, I sent her a text asking. She replied HOURS later. I mean, the level of whatever-ness about it in her was a MAJOR red flag because when her period was late - she was BAWLING in my arms. And thoroughly needed my emotional support and company, or at least that's what it seemed..hmmmm. So she sends me a text, telling me she's not pregnant (keep in mind she's in Tampa). I was at the gym, so I wasn't replying. She sends me another one, "Don't you want to know what happened?". I still didn't reply. Next one from her, "Andre...", I finally saw her text messages, thoroughly caused a scene of joy in the gym (very nice gym btw, holy **** it was nice). By then I knew she was making this whole thing up. So I replied sarcastically "Lol yeah....what did the doctor say?" She replied instantly: My phone is dying I'll tell you tomorrow (yeah right just trying to stretch out her attention for another day or two) Me: Ok cool. Her: Can I ask you something? Me: *I thought she said her phone was dying? Lmao she's terrible at lying* "Sure. Sup?" Her: Are you mad at me? It's like you're mad at meeeeee (begging, I hate when women do that ****...) - She's feeling guilty, she knows I caught on. Me: I'll talk to you tomorrow. Her: WTF took you so long, where the F**K are you? Me: I'll talk to you tomorrow.... I don't want to have anything to do with this sick ass individual right now. I was sweating ****ing cannon balls, **** bullets for 48 hours. She basically made up this pregnancy to force me to start caring for her and giving her attention and it worked, I thought she was pregnant, I thought she was the mother of my unborn child - something inside me just started caring for her, wasn't love, but I cared deeply about her health, etc. I mean...what the F**K dude?! I don't even know what to say to her. She doesn't know that I know she lied about this whole thing. And I bet you a million bucks she'd let me have unprotected sex with her again, and probably will trap me if she does get pregnant. My friend, who I was working out with, he called it. He actually had an ex GF who was trying to get pregnant by him. And she used a pregnancy scare tactic to keep him around. He was telling me that story an hour or two before I got the news. That's when I started putting all the clues together - this chick ran game on me, hard. Pardon my typos, and random punctuation, etc...I am hung.the.f**k.over....and I.....I just don't care about grammar right now lmao... Man that is sad!!! Not all girls are like that though. It's like when a girl lies about being raped, it hurts the guy they accuse, his family, and friends, as well as it hurts the ability of people to trust when rape really happens for other girls and even the same girl if she does get raped. It's like the story of the boy who always cried wolf for kicks, and then when a real wolf came, nobody believed him and the wolf ate him. It sounds the same then with saying one's pregnant just for attention. It makes it hard for guys to trust girls. That isn't cool. Yeah don't talk to her again. If I were a guy and were you, I'd just text her something like this: "I'm glad you're not pregnant. Stay out of my life. I don't want you. Good luck in your life." That is horrible. Edited February 11, 2011 by elaina
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 I hear ya. Didn't even get back in contact with her like I said I would. At this point, she doesn't deserve anything from me except my silence.
VeveCakes Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Maybe you should wrap yourself next time and we won't have to go through this will we?
dispatch3d Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I was rereading this thread and thought about how nothing lined up, so I predicted the pregnancy scare being a hoax. Just because of a few things, like you didn't actually have sex, you were withdrawing attention and this seemed to work to keep your attention, etc. etc. She's definitely psychotic and should probably see a doctor about it. The number 2 point you had above - this is completely her rationalizing her behaviour after the drama is over and she can think clearly. In the future, if a girl ever tells me she frequently "tests" guys to see if they are relationship material - bingo it means she's not always in control of her emotions and gets really far out of hand at times.
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