Woggle Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 My guess is some women are put off by the fact that they can be easily replaced when dealing with a man whom the general public finds attractive. Not sure why they get so stirred up in a bad way when dealing with a man who's also got a lot of options on the table. But to be honest, it's only a taste of their own medicine. Some of the hottest girls I know value men very little and actually keep a few sort of how tools would fit into a tool belt - they just utilize men, because Men are so easily obtainable to them. Admitting that women are easily obtainable shouldn't necessarily place you in this category, because if it's the truth it's the truth. No need to sugar coat or act oblivious to it, but there's also no need to make that the core of your personality and abuse it, as many attractive women do. Very true. If you were a woman posting this you would be praised as being empowered and independent. They are just mad that you have the upper hand in the dating world which so few men have these days.
depplover_1980 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 He is getting a rough deal here and the general situation was as much her fault as his! In society it is always acceptable to praise your character traits, but the minute you say you're good looking all hell breaks loose. I read it as the guy is attractive and gets lots of attention, as in FACT. No different to him saying I am kind and like to buy gifts, FACT. I think anyone that has ever been wronged by a confident guy is shooting the messenger here!!
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Very true. If you were a woman posting this you would be praised as being empowered and independent. They are just mad that you have the upper hand in the dating world which so few men have these days. The crazy part is that I don't even abuse the level I'm on like these posters seem to think I do. Pretty laid back and down to earth guy. Sounds crazy but my looks have been such a rollercoaster ride in terms of what people think, say about me, and judge that I actually dress to hide my figure to a certain degree. Basically I dress, at times, to comfort the insecurities of others. I know it's absurd but it's part of an experiment I'm trying. What I've found is that generally women are more inclined to approach and talk to me when my physique isn't as apparent. But if I were in a wife beater, or a very fitted shirt, women will check me out but become very very timid, shy, and insecure.
PeachyPink Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Well a gentleman is what I strive to be, and it shows through my actions, maybe not so much through my text. I'm everything but disrespectful to a woman when I'm around them, upset with them, in love with them..you get the point. As far as the women I choose, that's totally up to my preference, not your opinion. So how is what you think would be a good match for me even relevant to my level of chivalry or gentleman-like demeanor? What are you implying about this woman then?Maybe you need to change your preference.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Maybe you need to change your preference. You don't even know what my preferences are though, so how can you begin to suggest that I need to change them? If I shared them with you what will you have to say then?
LittleTiger Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Oooops... once again, a post has mysteriously disappeared from a thread... Whatever. Yes, that does happen sometimes. I'm sorry I missed it because I'm going to guess (from what others have written and the position of the missing post) that this one was aimed at me. I wonder if that assumption makes me sound arrogant? I can be at times - but at least I'm aware of it! Ay Diesel T, if you decided it was offensive (whether it was directed at me or not) then all credit to you for removing it. If you are indeed the gentleman you believe yourself to be then you did yourself no favours with your first post because you made yourself sound very egotistical.
Gypsy_Soul Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 (edited) I don't think you did anything wrong to be considered an *blank*. I think the way these women are probably approaching you to have a LTR is all wrong. If you had told me that you're not looking for a LTR but open to one, I certainly would not even bother with you for a LTR. Let alone have sex with you that quickly. I agree she wants to lock you down, she sounds a bit off. Edited February 1, 2011 by GorgeousGirl
muse08 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Ay Diesel T, I will give it to you. This is a great discussion. You see how you got us all giving our input sooner than you can reply to a comment. Now...Both of you gave it up on the first date...So that speaks on you both. Glad caution came to you both... You have every right disagree w/ some of the comments in here. But I've noticed it sounds like you're hating on those of us who are giving you our OPINION(which happens 2b different than yours). It's merely an opinion...so w/ that being said, really there's no need to address each comment anyway. The truth of the matter is that several people have admitted that it's cool to have confidence. Confidence is good and it's great for guys & gals. But when you keep emphasizing "looks" it really does appear as though that is your reason for being laid back b/c you feel that chics are supposed to be intimidated by that. Then saying you don't want to see the girl too soon because it might be "too much, too soon". So basically you tested her to see how far she'd go? But look how far you went as well though... You situation has happened to myself and plenty of others I'm sure. 4me in reverse w/ this guy who got too clingy and I had to back away from him a bit. I just don't like hurting people's feelings and he became controlling and possessive and I don't really play by those rules. So I do feel you and I'm really glad you expounded on the whole situation. Before, you had me really wondering what was missing...This girl is basically young and a bit insecure and probably has no idea what she really wants in a relationship or if she even wants one right now. Try not to take advantage of females in the future just because you want to see how far they're going to go.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Ay Diesel T, I will give it to you. This is a great discussion. You see how you got us all giving our input sooner than you can reply to a comment. Now...Both of you gave it up on the first date...So that speaks on you both. Glad caution came to you both... You have every right disagree w/ some of the comments in here. But I've noticed it sounds like you're hating on those of us who are giving you our OPINION(which happens 2b different than yours). It's merely an opinion...so w/ that being said, really there's no need to address each comment anyway. The truth of the matter is that several people have admitted that it's cool to have confidence. Confidence is good and it's great for guys & gals. But when you keep emphasizing "looks" it really does appear as though that is your reason for being laid back b/c you feel that chics are supposed to be intimidated by that. Then saying you don't want to see the girl too soon because it might be "too much, too soon". So basically you tested her to see how far she'd go? But look how far you went as well though... You situation has happened to myself and plenty of others I'm sure. 4me in reverse w/ this guy who got too clingy and I had to back away from him a bit. I just don't like hurting people's feelings and he became controlling and possessive and I don't really play by those rules. So I do feel you and I'm really glad you expounded on the whole situation. Before, you had me really wondering what was missing...This girl is basically young and a bit insecure and probably has no idea what she really wants in a relationship or if she even wants one right now. Try not to take advantage of females in the future just because you want to see how far they're going to go. I didn't take advantage of her? Explain.
luvflower Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 (edited) I didn't take advantage of her? Explain. Ay' come on now...I'm a female and I know full well how men can see right through women sometimes and the same goes for us being able to see right through you guys. It seems to me that you may have known how insecure this female is/was, but she looked good so you figured why not test the waters. Now, she's prolly feeling bad b/c she gave you something too soon and on top of that you talkn 'bout "it's too much, too soon", meanwhile you're beating her off with a stick (i'm being dramatic here)...omg...I guess that's just real talk though ha? *sorry about that error in the previous pre-edited post* Edited February 1, 2011 by luvflower graphics
muse08 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I didn't take advantage of her? Explain. Exactly...my very thoughts! Thnx luvflower for steeling my words, lol.
OldSkool Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Dude, you sound like a narcissistic girl. Get over yourself and stop talking down to people who don't agree with you. Why the heck are you here, it's obviously not for advice. I suggest you are just here looking for an ego stroke.
muse08 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Dude, you sound like a narcissistic girl. Get over yourself and stop talking down to people who don't agree with you. Why the heck are you here, it's obviously not for advice. I suggest you are just here looking for an ego stroke. Also...my very thoughts...i think i said something to that affect earlier. I knew I couldn't have been the only person here thinking that... Thanks OLDSKOOL
Duckduckgoose Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Dude, you sound like a narcissistic girl. Get over yourself and stop talking down to people who don't agree with you. Why the heck are you here, it's obviously not for advice. I suggest you are just here looking for an ego stroke. I wish there was a "like" option for posts. Oldskool wins again!
counterman Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In regards to your situation, I agree with the posters who said that both of you did not communicate your thoughts on "hanging out" very well. IMO, you should have been the bigger person and brought it up and said that you can't hang out and will reschedule later; it would have prevented that situation that followed from happening. Also, waiting for to bring it up is sort of like game playing, IMO. When you had that game with her, teasing each other even when she said she didn't want to have sex, I think you could have respected that and actually try not to have sex. The fact that it did happen and the "hanging out" incident (or non-incident) followed, made the situation worse. You can get girls easily and have options, but sometimes it's better to channel that "confidence" (for lack of a better word) internally, instead of "flaunting it" - even though you might not be purposely. It might be the truth that you are good-looking but try taking a more humble approach. The guys I know who are best with girls were pretty laid back, and they knew they were good with girls but they never said it or flaunted it; pretty much kept it to themselves. Be the stronger person inside and allow for others insecurities. If a girl thinks your player, she's only going off what you give her, your actions and word. Some may not be right for you but others will.
muse08 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I wish there was a "like" option for posts. Oldskool wins again! For sure!!!
muse08 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 You can get girls easily and have options, but sometimes it's better to channel that "confidence" (for lack of a better word) internally, instead of "flaunting it" - even though you might not be purposely. It might be the truth that you are good-looking but try taking a more humble approach. The guys I know who are best with girls were pretty laid back, and they knew they were good with girls but they never said it or flaunted it; pretty much kept it to themselves. Be the stronger person inside and allow for others insecurities. If a girl thinks your player, she's only going off what you give her, your actions and word. Some may not be right for you but others will. Dang...COUNTERMAN... you should be from shutt(h)im island rather than shutt(h)ER island, 'cause I think you just "shutt(h)im down"...! ok,I don't get paid to do stand up, but I'll try my hand at it every now and again... You and Oldskool are laying it down tonight... Thnx again
MrNate Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Oh c'mon now people! Is it really this bad? After seeing men and women in here boast about how easily they can 'get' the opposite gender, I think that's getting this topic nowhere now. Anywho, ADT, it seemed like a simple lack of communication from both. I can definitely understand how men and women might have problems at times making their intentions fully known, but it's possible. Sure some girls might view you as a player, because you will seem to have many options, but you're def capable of a long term relationship man. Just make them intentions known, and more importantly act on them when the time comes, and I think you'll be A-OK.
muse08 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Oh c'mon now people! Is it really this bad? After seeing men and women in here boast about how easily they can 'get' the opposite gender, I think that's getting this topic nowhere now. Anywho, ADT, it seemed like a simple lack of communication from both. I can definitely understand how men and women might have problems at times making their intentions fully known, but it's possible. Sure some girls might view you as a player, because you will seem to have many options, but you're def capable of a long term relationship man. Just make them intentions known, and more importantly act on them when the time comes, and I think you'll be A-OK. With all due respect MrNate...You sound like you're comforting ADT. I really don't think he came here for comfort. Re-read his posts...
Gypsy_Soul Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 There are a lot of women that are get intimidated by a man's great looks. Mostly the ones that are insecure. I think him mentioning his looks is valid to why some of these women view him as a player. Wasn't she the one that told him, "you should be all over me, most men are", well she sounds to me like she's the one that's cocky or something. He mentioned his looks once and now according to certain posters he ,"keeps emphasizing his looks". I don't think so. Ay Diesel T, I will give it to you. This is a great discussion. You see how you got us all giving our input sooner than you can reply to a comment. Now...Both of you gave it up on the first date...So that speaks on you both. Glad caution came to you both... You have every right disagree w/ some of the comments in here. But I've noticed it sounds like you're hating on those of us who are giving you our OPINION(which happens 2b different than yours). It's merely an opinion...so w/ that being said, really there's no need to address each comment anyway. The truth of the matter is that several people have admitted that it's cool to have confidence. Confidence is good and it's great for guys & gals. But when you keep emphasizing "looks" it really does appear as though that is your reason for being laid back b/c you feel that chics are supposed to be intimidated by that. Then saying you don't want to see the girl too soon because it might be "too much, too soon". So basically you tested her to see how far she'd go? But look how far you went as well though... You situation has happened to myself and plenty of others I'm sure. 4me in reverse w/ this guy who got too clingy and I had to back away from him a bit. I just don't like hurting people's feelings and he became controlling and possessive and I don't really play by those rules. So I do feel you and I'm really glad you expounded on the whole situation. Before, you had me really wondering what was missing...This girl is basically young and a bit insecure and probably has no idea what she really wants in a relationship or if she even wants one right now. Try not to take advantage of females in the future just because you want to see how far they're going to go.
muse08 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) There are a lot of women that are get intimidated by a man's great looks. Mostly the ones that are insecure. I think him mentioning his looks is valid to why some of these women view him as a player. Wasn't she the one that told him, "you should be all over me, most men are", well she sounds to me like she's the one that's cocky or something. He mentioned his looks once and now according to certain posters he ,"keeps emphasizing his looks". I don't think so. Anyone who comes to LS talking about how attractive he/she is, then says they're doing an "experiment" by wearing clothes to cover their body,lol...???, is trying to get an ego stroke and is looking for someone to ask to see pictures of them. Covering one's body as OP mentioned is called modesty. That should be a norm not an experiment. Modesty should apply to both genders, not just women. IMO, he sounds needy for attention (just as much as the chic he went out with) coming up in here talking 'bout he's too 'fine' and goes around making women feel insecure. I never said that the female was right/sane/most confident,etc... Edited February 2, 2011 by muse08
Stung Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Meh, I could care less how attractive this OP is, or thinks he is. I am not threatened by his ability to pick up women, it doesn't sound terribly different from my own ability to attract men. I do get the impression that he treats women poorly, but I'll reserve judgment on whether that's deliberate on his part. If he's as excessively attractive and casually successful with scoring sexually as he portrays himself to be, perhaps he's been handicapped by never having had to try to understand women as people with different motivations and desires. He certainly seems to be having difficulty reading emotion, both this girls and his own knee-jerk reactions to negativity in this thread. For Woggle: I wouldn't celebrate a woman's ability to pick up men, have sex with them and then act in a way that left them feeling disrespected and rejected, and I don't know many women who would think that was awesome and empowering. It's his behavior in response to her asking him to see her again that's at fault here, not whether he has casual sex or is comfortable using his sexuality to attract women. Making some effort to treat other human beings in ways that don't leave them feeling worse than before you met them should be the de facto standard for both sexes.
AverageJoe Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 If women are calling you an ******* you are doing something right. Don't sweat it.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 The clothing experiment wasn't because I flaunt what I have regularly, I hardly wear wife beaters in the gym. It was more out of curiosity, and it's surprising how much positive feedback you get when you comfort an individual's insecurities. Honestly? And I mean honestly, if I wanted an ego boost it'd be more efficient to post pictures of myself asking for opinions but I wouldn't do that, because I don't need to. When you know what you have, and what you're working with, you don't need an ego boost. As far as reading Women goes, I don't have too much trouble. I just have trouble understanding irrational behavior, something very common when dealing with insecure women. So I came here, hoping that an insecure woman (seems to be a few around on these boards) could shed some light on why this woman is acting immature about the situation.
Author Ay Diesel T Posted February 2, 2011 Author Posted February 2, 2011 In regards to your situation, I agree with the posters who said that both of you did not communicate your thoughts on "hanging out" very well. IMO, you should have been the bigger person and brought it up and said that you can't hang out and will reschedule later; it would have prevented that situation that followed from happening. Also, waiting for to bring it up is sort of like game playing, IMO. When you had that game with her, teasing each other even when she said she didn't want to have sex, I think you could have respected that and actually try not to have sex. The fact that it did happen and the "hanging out" incident (or non-incident) followed, made the situation worse. You can get girls easily and have options, but sometimes it's better to channel that "confidence" (for lack of a better word) internally, instead of "flaunting it" - even though you might not be purposely. It might be the truth that you are good-looking but try taking a more humble approach. The guys I know who are best with girls were pretty laid back, and they knew they were good with girls but they never said it or flaunted it; pretty much kept it to themselves. Be the stronger person inside and allow for others insecurities. If a girl thinks your player, she's only going off what you give her, your actions and word. Some may not be right for you but others will. She didn't want to have sex, and I respected that. But I still wanted to tease her, and play around. No harm in that. Whether she got turned on and gave in was totally up to her. I didn't beg her, I didn't give her the classic "Come onnnnnnn". I didn't even go over with the intentions of having sex with her, I just wanted to spend quality time. Here's a question. Sex happened, cool. But why am I the bad guy here? Like it wasn't mutual or something? She has sex with me and now I'm the guy who didn't respect her, and I'm the guy who took advantage of a insecure woman? Please, explain. What's up with people making assumptions based off of what I didn't say? It's like, absurdly apparent on this board.
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