Mixed28 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Keep in mind I am not expecting us to get back together by sending this or in general also she has a new boyfriend and we have been broken up for 10 wweks they got together 2 months after our breakup. I have maintained no contact although she will wave to me when she sees me. we are both in college.I want to send this to her in May. Or should I do it if they break up out of respect for their relationship obvioulsy I would not send it immediatly after they break up wait a couple weeks. Its something I feel I must do even if she doesnt respond and no I have not sent her any letters or texts etc thus far. Also by sending this I don't see the harm considering I dont expect us to get together also I was unable to tell her this the day of the break up. What is ther to loose? Granted I dont expect to gain much except for the simple fact that she knows I not pissed at her and that I completely understand why we broke up. Hey hope your doing well just wanted to let you know that I'm not mad or resent you I realized along time ago that I was way too smothering. I tied us down and that was not fair to you. I learned so much from you and this experience made me much stronger and I would not take it back. Hope you and your family are doing well. My name
sooobroken Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Mixed, Sorry to hear about what you are going through....especially that you have to see her and run into her everyday. If you aren't expecting to get anything out of sending her that message...don't do it. It will not make you feel better and it will only make you keep wondering what she thought and or is thinking. It hurts me to tell you this...and it will hurt you as well i know since i hated hearing it. You need time to go by...and no contact...after all you are in college concentrate on your studies and focus on bettering yourself. Stay strong...spend time with your friends...and its okay to feel sad and lonely. Unfortunately that is part of the breakup process...wait about a month and it will start getting better...sorry again for what you are going through.
Author Mixed28 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 I understand but I wanted to send it to her at the end of the school year(which is in May) its more of a closure thing than anything. I just want her to know I understand and im not mad.
TheThinker Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Does she think you are mad with her ?? Do you wave back when she does wave to you, if so then she isnt going to think you are mad with her. As someone said if you arent actually going to gain anything from sending the message just dont send it. Its not going to help - you will send it and instantly feel better for doing it, but that will be wiped out within hours when you start thinking about how she is feeling about it, how will it change your relationship with her, is she going to come back etc ... Its not healthy for you and it will be a case of taking a step forwards and 2 steps backwards (maybe more) There is no point about even thinking about sending it in May - Its such a long time away that anything could happen in that period. You could find yourself that you have moved on (although you may not feel that way at the minute, you may find that something happens in that time that may change the dynamic of how you speak to her, anything really)
depplover_1980 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 You need to realise that subconsiously you are hoping the message will get her back. It will kill you if she doesn't reply. Anyway start getting over this girl who is too stupid to appreciate you because someone else is going to out there!
Chi townD Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I wouldn't do it. Someone hit it on the head. You send that then you'll be wondering what she though of it. Then you'll be posting here asking," Do you think I should write a follow-up note to see if she got it?" Driving yourself insane. It's bad enough that you have to see her peroidically throughout the week at college. I just think you should avoid her as much as possible and move on.
z00m25 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 If you had any interest in ever getting back with her i'd probably send it. If your trying to move on I would not. My 2 cents.
lovesparis Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 don't send it. sending something that long after the breakup just makes you look like you haven't moved on. she doesn't care if you are mad or not. she doesn't care if there are hurt feelings or not. she doesn't care if you've moved on or not. she's done. it's hard, and it sucks, and it hurts everyday... but the best way to move on is to not contact. if you need to get something off your chest or whatever, it needs to happen within the first week of the breakup or it looks like you've spent all that time pining and obsessing, which certainly is not suave and "over it." i hate break ups (i mean, who likes 'em?) they hurt... but they are a "fake it till you make it" situation. stay strong. stay NC.
Author Mixed28 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 The things you need to do to get over her are the same things you need to do to get her back. So you just do them. You stay strong, you stay positive I will just do that then^^ Well I have been lifting weights and gaining muscle sence December and started water polo in early january. Also I have been hangingout with friends alot. So physically I have moved on if that makes sence granted to emotionaly pain is not nearly as bad as the first 5 weeks.
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