sooobroken Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 This is my first breakup that i am going through....i tried my best to be mature and realized that if the other person is willing to be the same way its one sided...i never was able to get any closure for the breakup...so i began writing a closure email...in the end i never thought i would send it, but i was friends with my ex's younger cousin...i messaged him on facebook when i saw he was online, and i guess she was logged in with his account looking at my wall...i got an immediate response saying 'i don't know you' and was defriended/blocked. All of a sudden my cell phone is ringing and it is my ex calling me. I didn't pick up...and let her continue to call me...this went on for a couple hours and she began texting me to call her....i didn't respond or call....at midnight as i'm getting ready for bed i get a text saying 'you are going overboard, why would you friend my cousin'. I taught him english and hung out with him in Korea. Anyway this was the last straw....i was sooo angry that i ended up calling her, she didn't pick up when i called, but called me back right away. She asked how did you find my cousin and why would you be friends with my cousin? i replied that i found him on facebook...she said that i was psycho and to leave her and her family alone...where right as i tried to say something she hung up. I texted everything that i was feeling and said all the things that i had been wanting to say...such as when you break up with someone do it face to face and be mature. Don't string them along and hurt them even more...eventually sending the closure email and telling her to please leave me alone... I felt great after all of this happened, and had been doing well. Until last night, she emailed me back saying "I'm sorry for the way I've been. I know that its been hard. I hope we can remain friends. I hope you are doing well." Seriously what is going through her head? It doesn't feel like i've taken several steps back....but i still love and care for her...she was the one that broke up with me....do i want to be friends? I don't know what to do...can anyone shed some light on what she is thinking? Does she want to be in the power position and watch me whimper? She has treated me like i was nothing for the past month in a half telling me she didn't love me and all the hurtful things...then kept contacting me....giving me hope and then not responding when i contacted her...my heart still is mixed up and i don't know what to do...thank you for everyones support...currently listening to music and hoping i can cope a little longer.
Trovador Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 The way you still feel about her says it all: don't be friends with her. Friendhisp in the state you are in is pure hell... you are suffering now, nothing to be ashamed of btw, but being close to her without being able to show her your feelings (even talking about them) will be worse, trust me... not mentioning when she starts to hang out or date another guy... it's in your best interest to protect yourself and win your dignity back... That is if she was sincere when asking you to be friends, but that I doubt it very much... You said your piece, see what is she made of and got a sort of closure... now, be strong and go NC, later, when your emotions have subsided a bit you'll have a clearer picture in your mind, but now go the silent way...
Eddie Edirol Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 No, you dont want to be friends with her. You have to forget about her. if you talk to her, it will just drag out the torture. The reason she wants to be friends could be a number of reasons. None of them are for your benefit. 1.) she could just be wanting to satisfy her curiosity of what you are up to, but its none of her business. 2.) she could be feeling guilty for stringing you along and wants to talk to you thinking it will help you feel better, but it wont. It will only make her feel better. It only relieves her guilt, and makes you feel worse. You will want to talk about you and her and she will want you to move on. Cant do that when youre talking to her. Keep away from her, dont ever talk to her again.
bluebirdsfly Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Don't do it. It's another way to string you along. She never changes
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