Bingo999 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 How can a guy go from non-stop texting every day for a week to nothing? (including not even answering a hope you had a nice day!) text? My non-trusting girl instinct says he met someone else but to go from 90mph to 0 in one day seems so quick... Especially since he lives in another country and we are planning to spend time together in 3 weeks when I'm there. I've come up with 4 possible scenarios: 1. He met someone he likes more right now 2. He realized I like him more than he likes me and he's turned off 3. He likes me too and knows it won't work out and wants distance 4. He's playing games So confused.
daphne Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 It happens every day. I would try not to take it personally. How long was he texting you every day? It may be that it's getting to the more comfortable stage and he just got busy. That happens. You'll have to realize that he has a life and so should you. If this goes on longer, then it is probably one of the scenarios you described above. Don't panic. Don't overreact. You just need to go with the flow a little and see if you hear from him.
Author Bingo999 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 We texted every day for a week and talked on Skype for 45 mins on Friday. We have spent time together in person before as well, a few months ago. Totally understand having a life (and there's a time difference of 5 hours) but how hard is it to write back and say hope you did too or something? I was at a friends place for dinner and decided to say hope you had a nice day and it took all of 5 seconds. I know he read it bc he had me download some app that's like BBM so we could text internationally. I'm just so confused and not into game playing. Not sure what's going on here.
daphne Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Well, usually the big spurt of texting/calling/emailing doesn't last that long because it's hard for anyone to maintain. I think if it's only been a week you should just go with the flow. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Don't make it mean more than it does. This is why I tend to be careful to not set up a pattern of expectation early on. I like it to build up, not start out with a bang and end quickly thereafter with a whimper.
oaks Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I've come up with 4 possible scenarios: 1. He met someone he likes more right now 2. He realized I like him more than he likes me and he's turned off 3. He likes me too and knows it won't work out and wants distance 4. He's playing games 5. He ran out of credit on his phone and can't send any text messages until he buys more credit. 6. The level of contact was unsustainable, and he's now catching up on all the housework he was putting off before. 7. He's been abducted by aliens. Assuming he hasn't gone no-contact on you and it isn't option 7, why not ask him?
Author Bingo999 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 So he's been texting but it's like 1x/day as opposed to at least 75x/day last week. Completely understand that 75x is like unsustainable and that was just the first week but it seems like he's completely dropped off the face of the earth. No mention of another Skype date -- messages me on Facebook, leaves mid-coversation. Tells me he's about to get busy with a new project at work. All my experience with guys says this is done. Seems like he's now doing the bare minimum to keep something alive for when I get there in 3 weeks (I am going on vacation with friends; however, he'd arranged a date for the two of us and had said he wanted to "see much as much as possible and as soon as possible"). Really have no idea what happened here but don't feel comfortable asking him as I don't want to come off as some crazy girl / someone who expects too much out of someone you aren't dating. I guess I'm just hung up on the complete 180. I guess I'll just continue to answer if he texts me first and make other plans for my vacation. No reason to put this guy ahead of any other plans if he can so suddenly change on me. It's really a shame, we were really, really meshing well...
watermelonjuice Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I'm sorry you're going through the 180. That must really suck. It's easy for me to say this but the best is to move forward and chalk this up as experience. All the best.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 He sounds like he's put you on the back burner. Have you bought the tix yet? Can you get a refund? I absolutely would not spend time in another country with another man who does something like this.
Author Bingo999 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Yeah I'm going with my friends and I was going to spend time with him when I was there. I'll just spend time with my friends which will be great! But definitely disappointing. And I know when we get closer to the trip (we are 3 weeks away now) he will ask about the date / hanging out again and I'm not sure how I should handle. It seems like I was pretty naive to expect anything anyway and I think I would have been content with going there and it just being fun except for our non-stop week of communication. Now I've developed a stronger connection. I dont know how to express this without coming across as needy or naive. Thanks so much for responding everyone.
daphne Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Hmm. It sounds like it's more than just unsustainability from your description of teh past few days. Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys out there who will get all excited, lead you in a certain direction and drop you off before you get to any sort of destination. I wouldn't wait around on this one to be honest. And I would enjoy my time with my friends. There is something quite unattractive about flakey people who are high as a kite one minute about you, then blase or worse the next. My opinion is that they truly do not know what they want.
Author Bingo999 Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 Back to this again! Talked most of last weekend and for 3 hours via text Sunday. He was going to bed while we were chatting Sunday night - read my last three messages and didn't respond. I haven't texted him since - he's checked the texting app multiple times but hasn't messaged me. So annoyed at this point but WTF!? I'll be there in 2 weeks.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Back to this again! Talked most of last weekend and for 3 hours via text Sunday. He was going to bed while we were chatting Sunday night - read my last three messages and didn't respond. I haven't texted him since - he's checked the texting app multiple times but hasn't messaged me. So annoyed at this point but WTF!? I'll be there in 2 weeks. Cancel the trip and get a refund. That money is better spent on a spa for yourself.
Author Bingo999 Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 There's no canceling! I'm going with friends. I guess I just won't meet up with him. This is ridiculous. On one hand I'd like to give him space but on the other I feel like he's clearly playing games.
musemaj11 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 He suddenly lost interest. Happens all the time w men n women.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 There's no canceling! I'm going with friends. I guess I just won't meet up with him. This is ridiculous. On one hand I'd like to give him space but on the other I feel like he's clearly playing games. Alright then, make it a mini vacay. Have fun whatever you do, but don't contact him anymore. It's just not worth it.
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