yellowduvet Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 (edited) I`ve been debating for a while (about a month or so) whether to break up with my boyfriend because the spark is gone, seeing him has become a chore, and whenever he comes over I sometimes just wish he would be gone. I get angry at him for stupid little things now, sex is a chore and we haven`t had it in months, and it just feels like because I`ve been thinking of ending it for so long I should just go ahead and do it. But then, I`m still confused and unable to decide. I`m also very concerned because we`ve been together for 2 and half years and I feel like I`m missing out on a lot of life... and I feel like I`m becoming too dependent on him. I want to have fun and live a little. I feel restricted staying but I also don`t want to leave. But to be honest, I may just be staying in this relationship because it`s safe and comfortable - I'm not entirely sure though. Everything is so confusing. I think I'm just incredibly bored, to be honest. And I've recently become jealous of single people and love the idea of being single. I may have started flirting with other people as well. And I'm also not entirely sure of my sexual orientation... I just feel there's so much exploring for me to do. I don`t know what to do. I hardly find him attractive, never want to have sex, find it hard to go out on dates and I just feel like I`m missing out on life... I`m only 19 and feel like if I stay I`ll be losing out. But then again, I also don`t know if leaving is the best idea... Any advice? I do care about him, probably love him, but... I just can't decide to end it or not. I know I'll be a little broken up about it after the breakup but I'm almost positive I could recover. And without him, I could concentrate more on friends and myself. I feel like if I were alone, I could push myself harder. We've also been taking a bit of a break, haven't talked as much, and I feel fine about it. I don't feel the need to contact him at all, and in fact, when he tries to contact me I find it annoying. Edited February 1, 2011 by yellowduvet
Nexus One Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Does he know you feel like this? And how does he feel about you?
Author yellowduvet Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 I don't think he knows, but I told him about a week ago that I need a break from him and don't want to talk to him. He knows I'm being distant for sure. Another thing that bothers me about him is his clingyness... I told him I needed a break and he keeps trying to talk with me a lot. He's very obsessive of me.
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 You're only 19, been with him for 2 years or so and it seems you're ready to end it and move on. Don't settle and stay with someone because of comfort level, unless you're willing to reconnect with him and fix things, make it more exciting and communicate how you feel..Though it does seem like it's over from what you've described.
utterer of lies Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Just imagine how free and sane you will feel after finally breaking up.
Author yellowduvet Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I'm going to do it and break up with him. I'm only 19 and don't want to be tied down right now.
bayouboi Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Seems like you'd be doing both of you a favor.
Cee Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Breaking up with someone is hard, but it is part of the process of relating to people on a romantic level. My first breakup was when I was 21. I had grown bored and tired of our 2 year relationship. He was a great guy, but the spark was gone. I cried so hard my face was throbbing and puffy. I couldn't bear to break up with him that night. So we "got back together." Two weeks later I broke it off for real. I want you to know that I empathize. This is one of those relationship "firsts" no one enjoys.
depplover_1980 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I had never heard on the 'grass is greener syndrome' until I read through LS Break Up section and this is another example. You are young though and should be just fine.
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