Titania22 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Hey Guys, I have been quiet on the dating front, since the breakup. Have been focussing on my life, enjoy the last couple of weeks of school holidays with the kids and asked myself what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don't have a career at this time, had done the married with children thing early on instead of having a career. Now it is starting to dawn on me that I will have about 3 decades after the kids have grown, before I reach retirement age, and that seems plenty of time for a career. So am currently focussing on the age old question, "what do I want to be when I grow up?" So that's a general update, but now onto dating news. Just a few days ago I felt ready to throw my profile up again on OKCupid. It seemed to work out ok last time, and I have tweaked it a bit with what I learned from being with this last guy. I still don't feel comfortable about putting my real age, but I I have changed the age of guys I will consider from 18-23yr olds, to 20-30yr olds, so I guess I am starting to mature and get closer to my own age. As for my age, I am not adverse for people I meet on there knowing the truth, but I hate being inundated with messages from guys 40-60yrs old. I think it shows great personal growth that I will now consider a 30yr old. And who knows, given a couple more months, I may be delighted with guys in their 40's. Most of my philosophy guy friends are in their 40's, and they seem fine. So this morning I messaged a 24yr old, with a cool funny profile (another geeky guy ), and he wrote back and said he would be happy to meet up for lunch or dinner. P.S. His photo is much cuter then the last guys.
Nexus One Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 So am currently focussing on the age old question, "what do I want to be when I grow up?" Suggestion: Start your own company/business. You'll be your own boss and it'll be possible to make more money than with an average 9to5 job.
Author Titania22 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 That's a great idea, I know you're right about the money thing. I have researched enough to know the surest way to earn big bucks is to be a successful entrepreneur. Unfortunately at this time, I get panic attacks about being in charge or the one responsible. Obviously something I still have to deal with. A few years back I used to get panic attacks about spending my whole life single and it doesn't even phase me anymore, so no doubt I can grow though my responsibility issues. I am considering going back to uni, for another degree, because uni is so much fun, the stuff you learn is interesting and when i graduate the kids will be grown, so i can accept any position I manage to land.
Author Titania22 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 Hey Guys, This has been an incredible week for me socially. I have met and spoken to many people (both sexes, many ages), and everyone has responded really positively to me. Maybe I am in the zone, I don't know, but I must be doing something right. The 24yr old did ask me out. Our first date starts in just a couple of hours (dinner and then the chocolateria for dessert). I have also been receiving interest from a 21yr old. Both guys know I am in my 30's.
utterer of lies Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Hey Guys, This has been an incredible week for me socially. I have met and spoken to many people (both sexes, many ages), and everyone has responded really positively to me. Maybe I am in the zone, I don't know, but I must be doing something right. The 24yr old did ask me out. Our first date starts in just a couple of hours (dinner and then the chocolateria for dessert). I have also been receiving interest from a 21yr old. Both guys know I am in my 30's. Good luck and have fun!
Author Titania22 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 Good luck and have fun! Thanks I Just got home. The date was fun. We got along and had alot in common. I was feeling that we had a really good connection. And then he got to the crunch, made it perfectly clear he was only looking for sex, not a relationship. On the one hand I am lucky he was upfront and honest about it. And I know it's a long shot to find someone so much younger who would want a relationship with someone my age. But it still made me feel disappointed. It's not like I want a commitment on the first date, but I would at least like the hope that they weren't all decided on the idea. All in all it was a great week. And I probably just need a good nights sleep.
Author Titania22 Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Ok so after having a few days to be introspective, and spending alot of time reading threads on ls, I have decided a few things. Firstly as far as the date guy, who's plan was to be friends on the hope that i would crack and have casual sex with him. I sent him a message on skype stating that I had no intention of being friends with someone I was attracted to, and no intention of having sex with someone who wasn't open to more than just sex. It got the message across. I decided after reading all the chatter about whether or not to play hard to get, that I am probably better off being myself. I may not get much attention and immediate success, but I have never been into playing games, and I am a terrible actress. I trust that if I am authentic, at least when someone comes along and likes who I am, it will be all me that they are liking. I have even told the truth about my age on my OKCupid profile, and I was more specific about what I would like to find, thanks to discussions I have had on ls the past 48hrs. In terms of my people picker, I do think I am getting better. I am finding guys who I have more in common with, and who can meet me on an intellectual level. I am even finding physical attraction. During my introspection I was reminded that for many of my adult years I only met 1 guy I was attracted to every 3-4yrs. So flustered would I be from such feelings that I invariably did/said the wrong thing and never got close enough to even kiss (though once I did get to kiss one on the cheek). So anyway that's the update. I don't know if anyone will respond to my updated profile, but I have put it out there, for all to see.
Author Titania22 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 Just a brief update on non dating related stuff. As life is about finding a balance. I have visited the University, and discovered there will be no problem getting in next year. I have pretty much decided to do a full bachelors degree, because it makes the most sense financially, and careerwise. Probably another science degree, but haven't seetled on subject yet, I essentially have a year from now until I would start. I also submitted my passport renewal form today. I have also been getting my financial house in order the past month, and things look like they will be ok. I probably should try and work at least a few months this year, to make my situation more secure in case of the unexpected. But I will leave that for the next few weeks, until my overall fitness level improves. I started at the gym last week, and so far it is going well, lots of really sore muscles. As far as my new "honest" profile goes, it's up and pretty ignored by anyone under 40, and no messages. But I am not fussed. I guess I see it as an experiment to see if honesty in dating can work. Generally I am feeling happy and balanced. This is the first time in a few years, I have actually had some concept of what I want to do in my future (i.e. anything resembling a goal).
Author Titania22 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 All I want to know is if you are a Titanic fan?.....Sorry, but the name screams Titanic to me lol. Great name BTW even if it's just a forum ID.... I like it. Funny, actually it's the name of the queen of the fairies in 'a mid summer nights dream'. Not so much of a fan of that play, my association with the name is to 'be joyful', which is something that is good to remember, so I took the name on to remind me.
Author Titania22 Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Hey Guys, Yet another update. I am treating this thread like my personal "Dear Diary". Below is a quote I posted on another thread. Basically it refers to the guy I went on the 1st date with and then was disappointed because he was only looking for sex, and didn't want a relationship. A few days after the date, I sent him a message on skype laying out why we couldn't be friends, or lovers, but in the process I said something he was offended by. After days of wondering if and how I could at least clear up the misunderstanding of the intention of my words, I sent him a text. I then went to the gym, and after a lovely workout I was feeling really horny, and contemplating my options (which seemed really limited and uninspiring). Returning to my car, I found he had responded to my text with a really long text, explaining that he wished he could give me what I wanted, but he couldn't because he was still recovering from his last breakup. It was sweet, and I was horny. So I sent him a text for sex, which he agreed to. It was wonderful! And thus my post below. Regardless, of the fact this man isn't ready for a relationship, and may not stick around for the long haul, I am so happy just to have found him (and to finally understand why it was always wrong before). I want to give him as much space as he wants, and hopefully he will stay around for a bit. I know every moment that I get to spend with him will be a memory I will treasure for the rest of my life. And I am willing to suffer any broken hearted feelings I may experience in the future, because they are all worth it. It's like I am the star of my own (life) movies, and it was an epic tale and adventure to find a great treasure. And I found it, and it was hidden inside a person. It doesn't matter what happens from here, because the credits are rolling now, the quest has been successful and nothing can change that. In this moment my life is completely perfect, and i wonder how many people have a moment like that in their lives. In other news, my body is getting so good from the workouts. I absolutely love it. And I am so excited with my decision to go to Uni, I have decided to apply to get in, to start in July. And I can get credit for previous 1st yr subjects, so I can focus on 2nd and 3rd yr subjects. I feel like I want to study so many things. I can afford to do it until my son turns 18, so 5 and a half years if I want. And I can have a 3/4 workload. So essentially I feel like the luckiest, happiest person alive. I have had the most wonderful incredible sex with someone I am still in contact with and who feels I am pretty impressive too. My body is getting stronger and more capable (i have always been really weak and chronically lethargic) and I am going to be giving my brain the stimulation it endlessly craves. Plus the way I am setting things up, I will be financially stable for the next 5yrs (so no worries there). I won't be rich, but I also won't be worried. Titania22
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