ALonerAgain Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 ... Whenever I see his profile picture on FB (we're no longer 'Friends' and I don't ever go on his profile. Not that I can or want to)? ... Always check to see he's not going to be at the same 'events' as me? ... When I think about the time we had together, even though it wasn't that great? ... Even though I don't want him back and I know we were never good for each other anyway? ... When I know that the girl he's seeing now is a better match for him and that he's happier? I know I've made progress: had some good times with some old and new faces; thrown myself into therapy, music and dance (my 3 great loves at this point in time); I know I'm surviving without him - that's just it: I'm surviving, but I'm still getting sucked into this vortex of 'what we had' and still feel a long way off from being completely separate from him.
ByMyselfForNow Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Just remember that your not alone in this. It just takes time, and eventually you'll feel better and you'll regain yourself. Until then, keep on surviving
stopthemadness Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Sorry for your pain. It will get better, Time will heal your broken heart. I too see a therapist. Shes awesome and i was glad to have her here while I pulled myself back together. No am not 100% better, but am not broken like I was the first day I went to see her. Iam Soo glad I never got into that facebook crap. All i ever hear is that its drama, drama.It sounds to me like youve made alot of porgress. And yes life goes on with out them. When you meet smone new all this will change. Give your self time. Hang in there. Keep posting, people need to hear about the healing process too, not just the hurt...
Author ALonerAgain Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Thanks guys. I'm just getting sick of it going round my head all the time. Stopthemadness - yes, now I understand why 5% of the population don't bother having a FB account! Time heals - it's such a cliche. I'm beginning to think that for me at least it goes deeper than this...every cut, every rejection every 'mistake' I make just keeps accumulating. this time I'm making sure to pay attention and learn cos, boy, the universe has given me a huge wake-up call. Yes, I have other posts dealing with healing (!) Check them out on the Self-improvement forum. I just needed to vent beacuse it's coming up to a year already and I'm still making him matter. (sigh)
Denillad Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I just did a Facebook no-no by befriending the new girl n seeing all their happy pics together. The first one I saw cut the worst, I left the page and a week later o went back to see them all. It showed me he has moved on but it really hurts having those images in my mind. I'm so consumed by the break up. I am surviving just as u are n Im sad I'm not able to enjoy life. I'm not able to make that change.
Author ALonerAgain Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 I just did a Facebook no-no by befriending the new girl n seeing all their happy pics together. The first one I saw cut the worst, I left the page and a week later o went back to see them all. It showed me he has moved on but it really hurts having those images in my mind. I'm so consumed by the break up. I am surviving just as u are n Im sad I'm not able to enjoy life. I'm not able to make that change. Denillad - I feel for you. But why did you befriend the new girl? Are you still in contact with your ex? I've been there (FB stalking on her page) and I didn't see, I read. It cuts deep. Made me suck in my breath and I thought to myself how right I was to suspect that he'd be with this girl (it's unclear whether he actually cheated on me, but I'm hazarding a guess that the thought was at least there, while I still was) and it just hurts knowing that he's moved on so quickly after 4 years together...
Denillad Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 (edited) It was wrong to do it but I did it in hope of seeing what she looked like. I know this is bad I felt better knowin she isnt cute but it's still hurts he walked away from 5 yrs together and prefers that relationship. Though he may still be attracted to be, he was no longer attracted to a relationship with me. Yes we had always communicated, he told me her name n all but I went looking. It all hurts when I saw then share those intimate moments but I will have to get over it. I'm hurt cause they met before we broke up though according to him, they were never involved. They began dating a few weeks after our break and mind u he is 32 and she was 21 year old virgin at the time. We continued havin sex well into their relationship and he talk about havin a kid with me. I was sucker for all that bs for about 2 yes cause I still loved him n hoped he would see that n want to get back. Right now I'm so hurt by my bad judgement by not making the best decision for myself not letting this go and keeping my dignity but no I feel like a fool but I just hope right now with therapy n nc I can forgive him n myself and move on without feeling anger, resentment n all this pain. I now have to come to peace with it n no longer have this as apart of my daily life. It hurts that he is living n I'm merely existing. Edited February 1, 2011 by Denillad
AcaciaStrain Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 How long have you lot been seperated for? It's been 2 weeks for me today, and my ex just gave me my stuff back. It's weird because she was the dumper and she was the one crying. But she's found someone else so i've had no choice but to move on.
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