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Experimenting with online dating site

Mad Max

By Mad Max
in Dating

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GivenUp0083 Established Member

GivenUp0083

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I appreciate Max's consistent dislike of online dating. I think he's absolutely right, but if he wants to experience online dating, he'll have to suffer through dates like the rest of us.

 

My failed experience with online dating has really opened my eyes. It not only takes the mystery and romance out of dating, it also fosters unhealthy behavior and objectification.

 

Now I am so much more appreciative of non-online based dating again. It is so much more fun to meet someone at a social event and flirt. I can get to know a man much better by talking to him in 30 minutes than reading a profile and emailing back and forth. And his lack of interest and unavailability is much easier to detect.

 

I would say it's easier to guage lack of interest and unavailablity online. The odds are much more in favor of the person being available as they took the time to join a dating site with a purpose rather than someone you meet randomly at a social event who didnt put a lot of effort to be there, they're just there and you approach them. You have no real idea of whether they are truly available or not either way.

 

Mystery and romance out of dating because you used the internet at a tool to meet people? I'd like to hear more about this. How did this take away the mystery and romance?

 

The only thing I seem to agree with your statement is that it is easier to get to know someone in person than via email or phone. But that is why online dating is used to get to know a little about them and determine if there's enough interest to MEET. You're not actually dating by sending emails, you're testing the waters. You meet the first time and I don't even consider that an actual date, it's a meeting. Online is just a resource to meet single people in your area who share interests and viewpoints. You don't actually get to know anyone until you spend time with them.

 

Max do you think you'd be up for giving 2 dates a go as a social experiment and report back how you got on? For instance did they look anything like their pics (I have been very disappointed by this before), were they more/less interesting than their profiles and genuinely whether you had a good time. I would be interested in reading it.

 

I can save him the trouble of going on two dates that he doesn't care to do (besides, isn't 2 dates a rather small sample size for an experiment?)

 

I've been on over 20 meetings (again I don't count these as a date since I haven't met them before). I would guess and say 10 of them looked just like their pictures and were farily spot on with my expectations of how they would look. I'd say 5 of them looked much worse in person or their photos were "deceptive" meaning they didn't show their body or their photos were outdated by like 4 or 5 years. The other 5, including my current gf, looked MUCH better in person than their photos. Like myself, some people just aren't photogenic and their pictures will never do them justice. Besides, how important are looks beyond a basic level of attraction if we're all going to get old, less attractive, and/or fat with age anyway? I'd rather find someone I actually enjoy the company of than someone who will look hot for the next 10 years and then I realize I can't stand her.

Edited by GivenUp0083
depplover_1980 Established Member

depplover_1980

Posted
Posted

I am an online dater too but I am interested in Max doing the experiment from a novice and sceptics point of view to it all.

Banker Chick Established Member

Banker Chick

Posted
Posted

I'm a 42 yo professional woman with an MBA, a great job and have been told I am attractive. I resorted to online dating because I didn't want to date guys I worked with, guys that ran in my social circle, didn't want to be fixed up by friends, etc. I was divorced in '04 and have done online dating on and off since then. I'd say overall I've had pretty good experiences. My biggest complaint would be that you can't gauge chemistry online so you can't really figure that out until you meet. I think I'd still rather do online because I'm busy and it's nice to know some stats about someone ahead of time. Yes, I know people lie but I guess I must screen well because I dated a lot (averaged a couple times a week) and I never had a truly horrible experience with someone.

 

I am one of the success stories though because I met my current bf over a year ago and we are talking marriage :)

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