iceknite Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 So here's the deal, I've been working with this girl now since about October so about 3 months. When i first started I thought she was nice and pretty cute, but the more we got to work together the more I started liking her and based off the signs I've received I pretty sure the feelings mutual. Now I plan on asking her out for Valentine's Day in a couple weeks, but here's the problem, she's been going out with this guy for about 3 years and lately it's been pretty on and off. To be honest the guy's a loser and treats her like **** and she admits it, but for some reason she keeps going back to him even though pretty everything she tells me about him is bad. I think she sticks with him cause she's afraid to be alone, not to mention she lives with her mom and step-dad, the latter which she isn't very close to as you can imagine, so I guess having him around kinda replaces the void of not having her dad around all the time. So I need to figure out if she likes me enough to ask her out without crossing some sort of "line", cause I have the feeling if someone better comes along she just might leave him, and I like to think I can be that someone better. The store we work at hasn't been very busy lately so we get alot of one on one time and she's tells me pretty much everything so thats why I figure she might leave him for me, but I'd like to know for sure before I do ask her out and make a fool of myself. What do you guys think?
ShatteredReality Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Without straight out asking her, there's no "knowing for sure". So here's what you can do if you are too scared to do that - ask her out casually and if she's like "but I have a bf" then you get to backpedal and say "I know, I wasn't asking you on a date - but instead offering you a night out as friends - we'd go dutch...just to get out of the house and away from stress". However, if you offer something, you need to be willing to deliver. That means if you offer her a night out as friends, you do just that - don't make any moves on her or anything, just be a friend to her. You say you want her to leave this guy for you - but do you want her to cheat on him with you? Because a relationship built on cheating isn't usually a very strong one, so it'd best if she dumps the guy before hooking up with you.
fishtaco Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 First of all, date on valentine's day is serious. I wouldn't do it unless things are already serious between you two. Second, she's got a boyfriend. If you're just playing around, go for it. Ideally you should wait till she's in the clear. Third, please guys, get it into your head. Jerk/nice has nothing to do with attraction. He's a jerk, you are nice, so she's going to want you over him? Not necessarily. She's going to want which ever one that is more exciting. Just because he's a jerk doesn't mean anything. Forth, you could be her BFF, that's why she's telling you everything. So if work is no big deal to you, then hit on her as a social experiment and see where it goes. If you value your work, it's best not to mess around. Open your eyes and look around, you'll see plenty of other cute girls to hit on.
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