Mixed28 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Got dumped for smothering her. This was my first serious relationship and I was new to this she also did not talk to me about it. She just dumped me did not tell me to tone it down (this may be do to me being a loving person and she thought it would not be fair to ask me to tone it down I don't know). I have not contacted her since the break up which was about about 10 weeks ago and now she has a new boyfriend after 2 months of our breakup. I feel I got screwed and it is so hard not to call her up and tell her I know I was too clingy and what not but doing that especially when she is with someone will push her away. Since the break up I have started water polo and have been lifting weights and gaining muscle. So physically I have moved on but I still always think about her and hope to get back together in the future despite the fact she has a new boyfriend. Also we are both 19 and attend the same college which is small 3600 students and she has talked to me once but it was small talk and she waves to me. And I would like to date someone new but so many girls are in long distance relationships it sucks. It sucks because I want to tell her "hey I know I smothered you and it drove you away from a good relationship and it was my first serious relationship and I did not know fully what I was doing but I learned I don't have to touch a girl 24/7 and to give my partner space" I mean it makes perfect sence but it wont help at least for now. I would have to tell her months down the road and when (if) shes single. For some reason I feel she has to know.
sammyd Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Hey, I'm afraid the bird has flown so to speak, but it's great that you're trying to move on with yourself at least physically if not quite mentally there yet. Our first relationships usually are pretty tough emotionally with hormones flying all over the place! You need to learn from it, and move on, no need to go backwards, look to the future:)
IfiKnewThen Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 i dont think its a bad idea to say what you learned and apologize. as long as youre not asking her to go back with you now. you can accomplish the apology part and the growth and awareness part..letting her know. you said you would like to say: "hey I know I smothered you and it drove you away from a good relationship and it was my first serious relationship and I did not know fully what I was doing but I learned I don't have to touch a girl 24/7 and to give my partner space" but dont imply you want to go back with her. just tell her you're sorry and learned as you thought about it over time. if you can genuinely do this and NOT expect anything of her and dont kick yourself or resent her...then you truly did learn...and have nothing to be ashamed of. maybe write it to her in email. but be clear its not an attempt to be with her...its just a formal apology.
Author Mixed28 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 I think I will wait awhile to send her the message maybe in the summer. Do you think it matters if she is single or not if I send it in future?
IfiKnewThen Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 i honestly dont think it does matter. you have to go into with the mindset of NOT expecting ANYTHING but to say you see things clearly now and wanted to kinda apologize.
Author Mixed28 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 I guess so I think I will probably send it in May the last month of the school year. So here it is Hey hope your doing well just wanted to let you know that im not mad or resent you I realized along time ago that I was way too smothering. I tied us down and that was not fair to you. I learned so much from you and this experience made me much stronger and I would not take it back. Hope you and your family are doing well. My Name
IfiKnewThen Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 it sounds good : ) you need to get this off your mind ..the letter may be a good way...to know you at least said that
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