KTB3LL Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Soo... My boyfriend and I started dating literally right after he and his ex girlfriend broke up. They were together for 4 years but she had cheated in that period and he just could never make himself trust her again. During those 4 years they had broken up twice (because of her cheating) they would stay broke up for a few months then tried to work it out both times and he finally just gave up. I've known him for a while through work and it just sorta ended up us dating right after they broke up. We have been together for 8 months now. My issue is this. I worried a little from day one that she would try to work her way back in with him because she has in the past. He and I had been together going perfect never even one fight until one morning about a month ago. I have been cheated on by the past 2 guys I dated and worry sometimes even though I don't think my BF would ever cheat. One morning I looked in his cellphone (I know I know bad idea) I noticed that he had talked to his ex about 3 weeks before this. The conversation was deleted but I could see the date he had from the last texts from her. I was furious. Not because he talked to her but because he did not tell me. This blew up and was a our one big fight. He was mad I looked in his phone says I should trust him. I was mad he didn't tell me. I told him I knew this wouldn't be the last of her texting him. He said she just told him they built one of his favorite restaurants nearby and wanted to let him know. Anyways his birthday was about 2 weeks after this and I just knew in my mind she would text him. That night he told me she texted him happy bday and he just said thanks. Because of the fight the first time I didn't wanna ask much more I just said I'm not comfortable with yall talking thats all I'm going to say. Now I worry that she is trying to work her way back in with him. People don't text their exes on their birthdays for any reason except to make sure the ex knows they are thinking about them. My question is this. Should I just ignore this? Is she trying to work her way back in or was she just trying to be friendly to an ex of 4 years? I know he would never cheat on me and I know he is pretty much always honest with me. He said he didn't tell me she texted him the first time because he didn't want to upset me and it was no big deal. I love him so much and he says he loves me too but part of me can't help but worry a little. I know 4 years of history is a lot and I worry she will continue.
sammyd Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Hi there:) Well, i can understand your insecurities, but, it sounds like he made an effort to tell you the next time she texted on his birthday, so i'd take that as a positive sign, he obviously like you a lot:). It's going to be really hard not to say anything about it, but, he is with you, not her. If he wanted to get with her, i'm sure he would have long gone by now, and it sounds like it's her initiating things, not the other way 'round, so, i would just concentrate on enjoying the realationship:). If you wanted to discuss your insecurities about the situation, that's fine, but try not to get mad or blow up about it. I know my ex was still in contact with his ex for a long time after we got together, and eventually his ex found someone else, and she moved on with her life. That will happen, sooner or later, so try not to be so worried:)
Author KTB3LL Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Thank you. And we have some mutual friends with her and they say she has been with a new guy for about 3 months now. But my boygriend told me that when they first started dating they took a break because she wouldn't quit talking to her ex at that time. Maybe she just has issues letting people go. Anyways he is very much mine and spends all of his spare time with me and my daughter I just don't want her trying to get in the middle of what has been perfect for us. I wanaa kick her teeth out one for hurting him the way she did before and 2 for texting MY boyfriend haha. I'll try to just let it go.
sammyd Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 heehee! Yeah, i would try not to worry too much about it, it'll fizzle out i'm sure:) Especially as he's with u all the time, he sounds like a good guy:)
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