How can you tell if your "gut feeling" is true or has gone haywire?

[Leviia]

So here's a question for anyone who'd been cheated on. My I caught my exH cheating on me when I was 5 months pregnant with our 3rd daughter ... I caught him because my internal "gut feelings" were going nuts.

 

The 2nd time I sort of caught someone "cheating" on me (and I put that in quotes because apparently it wasn't cheating because we never committed to each other he said ... yeah whatever BS that is) I again listened to my gut feeling.

 

How do you know if that gut feeling you get is valid or just going off because you no longer trust anyone?

[Lucky_One]

That can be sort of hard. Sometimes, if we have been hurt, then we can start looking for too much trouble (a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it were). Paranoia can be very destructive.

 

I guess you have to "see" and judge exactly what your gut is saying. Like, literally write down what it is that your gut is saying.

 

1. H came home 10 mins late last Friday night, and said that he got stopped at a train crossing. (That could be sort of paranoid, if the story seems logical.)

 

or

 

1. H came home 40 minutes late last Friday night. and said that he got stopped at a train crossing. (40 minutes is a LONG train. That isn't logical).

 

But all in all, I believe in trusting your gut, IF you tend to not be a drama queen and are a practical, grounded sort of woman. But yes, it can be a fine line between trusting that little whisper in your head and hearing a leaf rustle and believing you heard the little whisper instead because of distrust.

[FryFish]

I have been wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME I have IGNORED my gut about relationships...