SunsetRed Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Most, actually ALL of my dating for the past 4-5 months has been online. I was ready to take my profile down, when suddenly within the past 2 weeks, I've met 2 guys that are fun to spend time with. Here's where it's akward. I'm doing ok with the social, going out in public, and sharing conversation part of dating, but now after a few dates, both guys are hinting that we start hanging out at each other's places. It makes sense, as going out is expensive for all involved. I do go dutch btw. I even said on my dating profile that I expect to go dutch, as I was out to meet new people, not get free food/drinks. But it's getting expensive for me as well. So...do I end, cut back on my contacts with these guys? Invite them to my place even though I don't want to? I do prefer one of them to the other but still don't want anyone in my place, nor am I excited to go to their places. Going to someone's place does increase the chances of getting intimate and with both guys all I've wanted to do do far is peck on the lips. And it's not even the idea of sex that scares me so much..it's the thought of..do I really want to be that close to or more so, wake up next to either one of them, and the answer is No. I know what I'm going to do, which is not to allow anyone into my space until I'm ready. I just wanted some feedback from those who've dated multiple people at once from an online source. Do you really just keep going out in public or do you let these men/women come to your place?
utterer of lies Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 And it's not even the idea of sex that scares me so much..it's the thought of..do I really want to be that close to or more so, wake up next to either one of them, and the answer is No. I know what I'm going to do, which is not to allow anyone into my space until I'm ready. I just wanted some feedback from those who've dated multiple people at once from an online source. Do you really just keep going out in public or do you let these men/women come to your place? The problem is not going to their or your place. The problem is that you continue dating men you are not interested in. Stop dating them. Problem solved.
Lucky_One Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Does "hanging out at your place" entail spending the night together or something? Can't someone just come over to eat pizza and watch a movie or a football game? But yeah, I have to agree, if you don't like someone enough to do more than have a peck on the lips, then why are you going to keep going out with them?
fishtaco Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 if you don't like someone enough to do more than have a peck on the lips, then why are you going to keep going out with them? Exactly. You shouldn't have sex with anyone unless you are comfortable with it. But, you should at least want to. It shouldn't be only about physical attraction, but it is a required ingredient. Sounds like you've already friend-zoned these guys. Which is fine. You're probably getting something out of the platonic associations. So for you, know what you want and stick with it. For them, if they're worth their salt in the dating arena, they'll figure that out soon enough and bail. If not, then this will be a valuable learning experience for them.
musemaj11 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Can you imagine guys who have to pay for both shares in every date?
Author SunsetRed Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Yeah, all of you are right. The problem is that I'm just not sexually attracted to either of them, even though they may be respectful and fun to talk to, I guess NOT being repulsive or an ******* is still not reason enough to sleep with someone. I so miss that tingling feeling of anticipation and waiting for just the rt moment to act on that lust.
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