kollindyr Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) Hey guys, I've been with my current girlfriend for about 6-7 months now, and lately she has been a little distant, etc, not her usual lovey self. When we started going out, she basically worked and came to see me. She loved to be with me, talk with me, everything with me, we were like best friends. Within the last month, she started up school again, and things have kinda changed. She's in a program called Police Foundations and which requires her to work out once a week. She's made new friends, and have made some "close" friends. Our usual plan would be to see each other once we are finished classes for the week (I started school back in Sept.1) and I head to her place on Friday's once I am done class. She sees me on Thursday's because she is done class on that day. Like I said before, she seems less interested in everything. Sex, texting, talking, skyping, and she goes to sleep pretty early (11pm-12pm as per the usual 2am-3am) using the excuse "I'm tired" when she is down at my place. She use to have less sleep, and it's never affected her. I've been really respectful to her, and I understand she is adapting to this new experience, but there is one thing. Lately she seems to have made a new "guy" friend that she seems to mimic the same interests. The guy like star wars, she instantly tells me that she was a secret star wars nerd. The guy plays guitar, suddenly she says she wants to take up an instrument. We use to keep texting our friends to a minimum, no long conversations or anything, just quick "hi bye" text to our friends when we are with each other, but this guy she texts quite often, almost as much as me. She even jokingly told me that the guy said that she has a crush on him, in which she denied. Now this Thursday she isn't going to see me, instead she is going to work on a group project (which I'm pretty sure the guy is apart of), and "study". Then she will see me on Friday. Are there any red flags going up? Edited January 31, 2011 by kollindyr
P&R Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 This is a bad situation that she has put herself in, I think she has a crush on him.
Author kollindyr Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) This is a bad situation that she has put herself in, I think she has a crush on him. Yes.. I've kinda realized that. What do I do? She see's this guy form Monday to Thursday. They are part of a clique. She told me she mentioned that she liked converse, and the next day he started wearing converse. But she laughed it off. Edited January 31, 2011 by kollindyr
P&R Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Yes.. I've kinda realized that. What do I do? She see's this guy form Monday to Thursday. They are part of a clique. She told me she mentioned that she liked converse, and the next day he started wearing converse. But she laughed it off. I was once in this situation only it was the other way around. I had the crush while being in the relationship. I was torn.. I was sleeping more to avoid my family members and talking to my gf whom I was in a LDR with. I would always find ways to talk about her without mentioning her name or that she was a girl. I would voice my concerns to her about her spending so much time with guy.
Author kollindyr Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 I was once in this situation only it was the other way around. I had the crush while being in the relationship. I was torn.. I was sleeping more to avoid my family members and talking to my gf whom I was in a LDR with. I would always find ways to talk about her without mentioning her name or that she was a girl. I would voice my concerns to her about her spending so much time with guy. Well, she lives about 45 minutes away from me. And we both attend different schools. I've kinda voiced my concerns already, saying that I feel she's grown distant. She apologized and said that she won't and that she still loves me. I can't really limit her contact with this guy, considering they are in the same school, and same program, and pretty much the same classes (everyone in this program are pretty much in the same classes).
Author kollindyr Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 I just found out that this Thursday, after her group homework, they are going out to celebrate his birthday with the group of friends in their program. She lied to me about doing homework and studying. Instead they are gonna do their homework, then head out for dinner, and desert, and the group will then supposedly "chill" at her place when they are done. Why didn't she tell me the truth?
P&R Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 I just found out that this Thursday, after her group homework, they are going out to celebrate his birthday with the group of friends in their program. She lied to me about doing homework and studying. Instead they are gonna do their homework, then head out for dinner, and desert, and the group will then supposedly "chill" at her place when they are done. Why didn't she tell me the truth? The answer should be obvious, she is obviously ashamed of what she is doing.
Author kollindyr Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 The answer should be obvious, she is obviously ashamed of what she is doing. I don't know what to do... but it does make me sad that shes lying to me.
P&R Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 I don't know what to do... but it does make me sad that shes lying to me. The only advice I can give is to tell her how much she is hurting you by her behavior. Bring up the fact that she lied and call her out on it. I'd do this face to face, please don't yell or anything that might make you look like a psycho.
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